Thursday, March 14, 2013

What the L?

L ran hot and cold about our sexual relationship almost from the beginning. We'd originally agreed it would be fun, no strings attached, and really just a one-and-done. She was staying with the wife and I for the weekend late that August, while her husband was out of town. Saturday morning when the wife went to work for a half day, we had amazing, mind-blowing sex. We agreed it was great, but that was it and we'd go on like nothing happened. 

That night we went to my partner's house for a cookout, and she and I drank too much (the wife was the designated driver, as usual.) Later at home, when the wife was taking a shower, we kissed a little and played around, but it was just for fun and we laughed it off. The next day L left for home, and the wife and I went to a family picnic. I was in a funk all evening, but I wrote it off as just being hungover from the night before. 

We didn't have any chances to be alone together for several weeks, but during that time we chatted on Skype and SMS, and sometimes it got pretty heated. At other times it seemed like she was ready to pretend "we" had never happened. It was confusing, frustrating, and stressful for me. And it didn't get better over time. 

Her work schedule gave her days off during the week, and I worked my own hours, so I was keen on us meeting half-way and getting a hotel room for some fun. She shot that down every time, saying she didn't want to get caught or raise suspicions. I know she was right, but I was frantic to be alone with her. In my mind, because of her hot and cold nature, I had to get it while I could. And maybe a little more contact would cement the relationship. I don't know, I was fucked in the head for most of the time we were "together." 

One weekend they invited us to come down and spend the night, so we did. The wife got really drunk (which is rare for her) and passed out early, then her husband said he was done a short time later. We were alone in the backyard, so we talked and made out for a while. She started blowing me, and it was amazing, but I was way too drunk to cum. Most of our conversation is a blur to me, with just bits and pieces standing out. We stayed up until 4 a.m. then went to lay down with our respective mates. 

I'd hoped that night was the turning point, and that things would settle in for us. I don't know exactly what I was expecting, I just wanted more consistency about "us" from L. But she couldn't give that. After another week of ups and downs, I finally decided I'd had enough. The stress was incredible and I wasn't able to focus at work. The only good thing was I wasn't eating, so I was losing weight pretty quickly. I called L and said I just couldn't do the sexual part of our relationship anymore, but I wanted to still get together as couples. She agreed, and admitted that my obsessive ness was starting to worry her, and that it would be for the best if we ended that part of things. 

So that fixed everything, right? 

1 comment:

  1. a similar thing happened to me recently -a woman I'd fancied for years came on to me at a party-we're both attached=no sex but we made out pretty intensely -I wish she hadn't said anything because now it's at the front rather than the back of my mind-situation is made worse by the fact that we live a long way apart(I'm in the uk)and contact is infrequent

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