Friday, June 27, 2014

Some Afterthoughts

Last night I had a nice phone conversation with Simplicity while I sat outside smoking a cigar. (And yes, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar!) I’m generally not a phone person; quick calls to confirm plans or get information that you want quicker than if you text or email are fine, but any longer than a few minutes and generally I’m antsy and fidgety and ready to move on to something else. I’ve been like that all my life, but it’s only gotten worse with the advent of email and texting.

But I really enjoyed our conversation last night, and it did me quite a bit of good. Writing is the way I usually process the big things, but occasionally the “big thing” is just too much, and my thoughts are too jumbled to write them down. I can usually balance trying to write correctly with getting my thoughts across accurately, but times like these I get too bogged down in the minutia and can’t express myself at all.

At those times, I just need to blurt it out to break the wall down. The trouble is, there aren’t many people I can comfortably talk to directly (i.e. not just via my blog) about Thursday night. And frankly, I didn’t know if I’d be able to get past my barriers even with Simplicity, but after she finally coaxed me to start, it became much easier. We've shared so much over the past year, and her friendship means the world to me precisely because I can talk to her. And it did help quite a lot!

Now that I can think straight(er) about things, here are some observations in no particular order:

As I said, T’s cum was not as thick or as present as I had thought it would be. I’d honestly assumed that I would have trouble with my first mouthful, and that I’d cough or gag a little. It went so smoothly and easily that my first thought was “what the hell are women always bitching about?” I told Simplicity this, and she got a real good laugh out of it. She said I absolutely had to share this on the blog, so blame her for it being here, lol!

I’m not sure T was ever fully erect, because the pictures he sent back when he and I first started with this showed him to be at least a little closer to my size. I’m not at all concerned about his size, but it’s mildly disappointing that he wasn’t rock hard! Not that I blame him; with all the commotion going on outside, and I’m sure he had plenty going on in his mind just like I did. Heck, I was never fully erect either.

Then again, I didn’t really need to be erect. For me, the big deal was sucking him off and anything he would have done for me would have been secondary. He later apologized for leaving me hanging, but I don’t know that he could have done much for me anyway.

Two days removed from it, I still see it as almost entirely positive. I’d rather it not have been in a bathroom, as I’ve said, but beggars can’t be choosy. There wasn’t anything wrong with the bathroom; it was clean and well lit, so not actually as seedy as in my mind sex in a public bathroom always seems.

But yes, otherwise a positive experience. I’ve had no remorse or regrets about it, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be happy to do it again, either with T if it works out or with someone else under the right circumstances (yes, James,that includes you.) The pressure to fulfill the fantasy is gone, but I think I’ll enjoy sucking the occasional cock.

After my experience with Brent last year, James asked if I thought I’d do it again or if I’d gotten it out of my system. I honestly didn’t know then, because I hadn’t fulfilled the whole of the fantasy. Now that I have, it’s kind of a yes and yes. I have now gotten the pressure to experience this out of my system, but just like finally fucking a girl for the first time relieved that pressure, it doesn’t mean I won’t want to do it again.

Despite everything, a part of me wonders if I’m making too much of this. I mean, it’s just a cock, right? Women, and men, do it every day! What’s the big deal? But of course it’s a big deal for me, and I know a lot of you agree, and are happy for me (based on your comments.) I appreciate all of you putting up with me being so melodramatic! :-)

FFF - On the Right Track - 6/27/14

Key Words:  Parting, Station 
Word Limit:  200 
Forbidden Words:   Discreet, Forbidden, Tryst
Extra Credit:  Name the train and the destination
The train was leaving the station when she sat across from me despite there being plenty of empty seats. I didn’t mind; she was cute, young, and Asian (looked to be Thai, but what do I know of these things?) Her foot brushed against my ankle when she crossed her legs in that lady-like fashion that prevents them from parting in an unseemly manner. I looked up to see her smiling at me shyly, but her foot remained, and moved daintily against my calf with the gentle swaying of the train car.

That smile lit up her eyes, and made me feel things I hadn’t felt in some time. My mind wandered aimlessly for a bit among various fantasy scenarios, then ran headlong for the one that started with us kissing, then touching, then fucking. The thought of seeing her under me as I thrust into her, her tiny breasts jiggling ever so slightly from my efforts, was almost more than I could bear.

Our eyes met, and hers widened in surprise and, dare I hope it, lust because of what mine so plainly telegraphed. “Please don’t get an erection!” I pleaded silently. “Please, not now!”

But she did.

Okay, this isn’t entirely original; I read a shorter version of this joke on, purporting to be a status update from a young man riding the subway. But I laughed a lot the first time I read it, and it was the first thing I thought of when I saw this week’s picture. I decided to try my hand at fleshing it out a bit (199 words), and building the suspense before the reveal. I hope you laughed as well.

Now get over to Advizor54’s site and read all of the other entries for this week’s Flash Fiction Friday.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Stepping In (Part 2)

So, where did I leave off? Oh, yes…

We said our goodbyes in the parking lot, and I drove home mulling over the events…

Oh, calm down; I was just kidding! :-)

I locked the door to the family restroom, then looked back to T. He leaned back against the sink and neither of us said anything. I don’t know what was going on in his mind, but I was suddenly frozen with doubts. Not that I didn’t want to be in there with him, but it was all just overwhelming for me.

I’d always rejected any thoughts of ever doing anything with a man or a woman in a public restroom, especially one in a mall, and it kept going through my mind how *seedy* it would look to an outsider.

What if I was wrong about what T wanted here? As ridiculous as it seems now, my usual self-doubts and lack of esteem had me thinking maybe I’d completely misread everything and he would be mad if I did the wrong thing.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg of the thoughts that were screaming through my mind as I stood there looking at T, with the goofiest look on my face. (That’s not just conjecture; I could see myself in the mirror behind him.) T asked if I was nervous, and I laughed and said “Of course I am! I’m always fucking nervous! I’m like the fat Barney Fife!” Okay, I was starting to babble.

“Would you rather be somewhere else?” he asked. He seemed excruciatingly calm when all I wanted was for him to tell me what to do!

“Of course I would, but where else could we go?” I asked rhetorically, though if he’d had a suggestion I would have listened. I’d already checked with Z to see if the office would have been open that evening, “hypothetically speaking,” but he said one of the guys would be back after 7.

“I mean, would you rather we just leave? Maybe walk around a bit more and say goodbye?”

“No,” I answered quickly. Fuck, did I answer too quickly? “I want to be here. I just don’t know what to do. I’m stuck.”

This would have been the time for T to take charge; he’s the one with experience doing these things, for fucks sake! But I get it, in hindsight, how he was just as worried about making the wrong move at the wrong time as I was. But it almost fucked up the whole thing, frankly.

Finally, exasperated and a little desperate, I asked “What did you come in here for? What did you hope would happen?”

I think that took T off guard because he looked a little worried and said “I.. uh, I don’t-“

“Do you want to see my cock?” I asked, bluntly. He shut his mouth and nodded, so I unzipped and (reminding him I’m a grower, not a show-er) pulled my dick out. I had about a middle chubby going; nothing impressive, but not “shrinkage” I’d feared.

He continued to lean against the sink, looking at my dick with an appreciative look on his face. Finally he seemed to make a decision, and stood up to open his pants and pull out his dick. I’d seen pictures of it before, but didn’t realize that he was uncircumcised. Not that it bothered me either way, I was just surprised. And though the size of a guy’s cock isn’t really an issue for me, I was childishly pleased to see that I am bigger than him. I’m a guy; sue me!

I asked him if he wanted to touch mine, and though he nodded again he still didn’t move. I stepped closer to him and he reached out to stroke me, which did feel good enough to get some growth going; not much, mind you, because I was still a ball of nerves. I asked if I could touch him and he said yes, so I reached out and took him in hand.

I was impressed at the size of his balls, and told him. I’ve always felt like mine were too small (but when I told him that he said they were fine.) Somewhere in all the excitement, I’d started leaking a decent amount of pre-cum, and I laughingly apologized for it. He said not to worry about it, and we continued fondling each other.

Suddenly we heard young kids running and yelling down the hallway, and a woman’s voice trying to control them. We both had that “oh, shit” look on our faces as we waited to see if they would try to get into this bathroom, and sure enough someone (probably one of the kids) tried pulling on the door. Thank god for locks!

T stopped stroking me, but still held my cock in his hand. At this point I figured we’d have to stay in for a while and hope they all left or went to one of the other bathrooms, so I continued stroking his now softening dick. The hubbub faded some as the woman apparently decided to take the kids in the ladies room (would be my guess, anyway) but we could still here them. I whispered “Well, we’re stuck here for a few more minutes at least. Can I…?” I asked.

He nodded again (not a man of many words, T is) so I kneeled down and licked the head of his dick before taking it in my mouth. He cooed softly, and I felt him growing again as I tried to do to him what I like done to me. I used my hands and tongue, bobbing up and down before taking him in all the way. His dick is shorter and thinner than Brent’s was last year (and I assume still is), so it was easier to handle without worrying about if my teeth were scraping him. He smelled clean, but musky; not unpleasant by any means.

While I was sucking him, we heard the noises of the group from earlier exiting the ladies’ room and move down the hall back into the mall area. When it was quiet again, I reluctantly stood up and quietly said “We might need to get out while the getting’s good.” I didn’t really want to leave this unfinished, but I was worried about getting caught somehow, and I figured T would be as well.

T surprised me by shaking his head, which made me chuckle. “Oh, you like that, huh?” I asked unnecessarily. “Are you close?”

“Not yet,” he answered. “But I’m getting there!” He was stroking himself at this point, so I kneeled back down to continue. My intention was to suck him while he stroked himself, something I love when the wife does for me; it’s a surefire way to make me cum quickly when we don’t have a lot of time. But again, T isn’t as long as I am, so there wasn’t enough for me to suck on while his hand was there. He kind of turned and with his free hand pointed to his sack, so I started licking and sucking his ball. That got another coo, and then a guttural groan from him, so I figured I was doing something right. After a few minutes I switched over to his other ball, then moved back and forth between them while he continued to stroke.

I went back up to lick his cock head hoping to catch some pre-cum, but was disappointed that there wasn’t any. I was just beginning to wonder if he wasn’t going to be able to finish, and looked up to ask him when I saw that his eyes were closed. I figured I could give him a little more time to work on it, and went back to licking and sucking his balls. They were hairier than I normally would have liked, but not grotesquely so and it wasn’t really an issue.

He gasped quietly, so I quickly moved back up and took him in my mouth as he moved his hand away. I sucked and licked, bobbing up and down, while his breathing quickened. I took him in as deep as I could and held him there, and he started moving back and forth but without any coordination. The way his legs were shaking, it’s a wonder he could stay standing!

He reached out like he wanted to put his hand on my head, but decided against it. I wanted to let him know it was fine, but didn’t want to stop sucking him. After another few seconds he tensed up and groaned, then started panting. Finally he let out one long groan, and his hips twitched.

I was actually confused at first because, though my mouth had started watering a bit, I couldn’t tell if he’d cum or not. I thought maybe he’d had a dry orgasm (which can happen, I guess) then realized as I swallowed that my mouth wasn’t watering; it was his cum! It was thinner, and had a much weaker flavor than my own (yes, I’ve tasted it.) I continued to gently suck and lick the head until he pulled back (guys, you know the feeling, right?) indicating that was enough. I stood up and we both got ourselves tucked in. He looked spent, and was grinning like that cat that ate the canary.

We heard a distant noise that might have been someone coming down the hallway, so he quietly said he’d go out first, and for me to lock the door and come out a few minutes later. I nodded and he quickly snuck out. I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth (the flavor was noticeable, but again not very strong) all the while thinking “I did it!”

I left the restroom a few minutes later and caught up with T as he stood by one of the stupid claw machines that seem to breed themselves in every mall. I grinned and said “I bet you didn’t expect that to happen, did you?”

“No,” he agreed. “I also didn’t expect a pack of wild kids to be screaming outside the door while it happened!” We both laughed and started walking.

That’s it for the “action” part of the story. We walked around for another 15 minutes or so, talking about what had happened. I reminded T that the last time we met up he’d been disappointed that I’d played around with Brent because he’d wanted to be my “first”, and said “But you are the first guy to ever cum in my mouth, so,” two thumbs up “good for you!”

Outwardly I guess I remained pretty calm; inwardly I was amped up big time, but still processing it all. I asked T at least twice if I’d done a good job, and said I had done great! He said he normally doesn’t cum from a blowjob

aside – His exact words were “Normally I don’t, you know, do that just from, you know, that.” This is the guy who earlier took great delight in making off-color and risqué comments and making me blush, and now was too shy to say “cum” and “blowjob.” Really? – end aside

but between the thrill of doing it somewhere naughty, and doing it with me (he’d admitted to having had a crush on me when we worked together) he was really happy!

He asked if I was feeling weird or any remorse, and I said that at least for the moment I wasn’t. I was happy that it had finally happened, and happy that it had been with him because of his being someone I know and trust. I also said that for my part I think I’d like to do it again, and with him, but hopefully somewhere a little more relaxed than a mall restroom.

aside – That actually took several minutes for me to say, as I stammered and back-tracked, trying to make sure he didn’t think I was demanding or assuming that another time would happen. What the fuck is wrong with my head, that I can’t just plainly state what I would like without feeling like an asshole? – end aside

I asked him if he thought he’d have any guilt later about P, and he said that he didn’t think so. Originally it had been a problem for him, but he’d had time to think about it and was okay with it. (He said quite a bit more, but it essentially boiled down to “no” so that’s where I’ll leave it.)

We made our way to the parking lot, and finally said our goodbyes. I went to shake his hand but he looked at me and, holding out his arms, said “Really?! I think this deserves more than a handshake.” We hugged, and he joked that we aren’t far enough down South to get shot for just a hug.

I drove home on edge, but not in a bad way, thinking through everything. The wife was at a game, so I had a few minutes to text with Simplicity, who of course wanted to know what had happened. I teased her a bit about it before telling her “I sucked his cock in the mall restroom and he came in my mouth.” Sorry, everyone else, but having been a FWB does grant her certain privileges like getting the sneak preview.

I didn’t have the raging hard-on I expected, but I was still very keyed up. I rubbed one out more for emotional need than physical, then hopped in the shower and had a drink. The wife got home around 10 and we went to bed, then woke up a little earlier than usual this morning to have sex. (She’d wanted to last night, but I begged off saying it was too late, which it was, and I was too tired, which I was by that point.)

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Stepping In (Part 1)

I saw T getting ready to enter the restaurant as I pulled into the parking lot, so I beeped my horn at him. He stopped and waited while I parked, and we shook hands once I reached him, then we went in and got a table. We did the normal small-talk while we waited for our beers and looked over then menu.

I asked T if he'd had dinner already, and he said he hadn't. I told him to get whatever he wanted and it was on me. He asked if I was sure and I said of course. He said he felt bad about it, and I said that I'd been there before, and I understood, but repeated that when he's flush again he can treat the next time. He agreed, and we ordered our food.

We talked mainly about where he works (and I used to) and what all was going on there. We also talked about soccer (he's not a fan, but P is so he winds up having to watch it too) and UFC (which was on one of the TVs) and really just about everything and nothing. It was a pleasant and comfortable conversation, though, and we both were at ease.

After awhile, he finally said "So, has there been any new developments on...?"

"You mean shenanigans?" I asked, laughing. He laughed and confirmed that was what he meant. I knew he wasn't asking about anything I'd done with women, so I told him "No, nothing at all since the last time." I told him I'd made a few attempts through Craig's List, but only halfheartedly and nothing came of it.

The waitress came over to the table and asked T is he wanted another beer (mine was still half full.) T said he just wanted water, and when she left I told him he could have another beer if he wanted. He said "Are you sure?" Again I told him yes, I'm sure, and kind of laughed. He said "Well, I didn't want to presume." The waitress brought his beer and when she left he said "I could say something but it would embarrass you." I laughed and asked him what he would say, having a pretty good idea what it would be. "Does this mean I have to put out?" he asked. I laughed and said "We'll see."

Then of course I did get embarrassed and he teased me about blushing. In fact, several times he made risque and suggestive comments just to see me blush and get fidgety. I told him that I've always been quick to blush, and that even after 20+ years together the wife can still make me blush under the right circumstances. (To be fair, I can do the same to her though.)

We both wound up having two beers before we were finished, and I asked if he wanted to walk around the mall the restaurant is attached to. He said sure, so I settled the check and we left. We talked more about my "curious" nature as we made our way to the other end of the mall, then he said he had to take a leak when we got to the bathrooms. We went in, and I stood up to the stall beside him and pulled my dick out. After a few seconds I said "I don't really have to pee, but I figured you'd want to look." I stood there while he finished up, and apparently he did look a few times.

We walked to the sink and I asked if he'd liked what he'd seen. He said yes, and that he had to resist the urge to touch it. I laughed and said I'd already put it away so he'd have to wait until next time. He pouted a little, but as we were walking out he said "Well, there isn't a lock on the bathroom anyway."

I pointed to the family restroom and said "There is on that door," then I walked over and opened it to show that there was a lock. He moved towards me like he was going to go in, but I let the door shut and continued walking. He hesitated a minute then followed me, and when he caught up he kind of pouted and said "You're such a tease!"

I laughed and said "Well, after another lap around the mall I'll have to pee again." So we walked and continued to talk. "By the way," I said, "I was just kidding earlier; I don't really expect you to put out." We both laughed at that. I still didn't think there was much of a chance of anything happening, but I could tell T was definitely interested in something, and not in just a general, flirty way. Still, what the fuck do I know about these things, right?

We completed another lap and was back at the bathrooms, and I really did have to piss this time and told T that. We went in the men's and he stayed back by the sinks while I took care of business (thankfully; I really have a hard time peeing when someone's watching.) When I was done I washed up and we walked back out.

As we approached the family restroom, he slowed down and said "So that door really locks, huh?"


He walked into the room and I, making some lame excuse about wondering how it looks in there, followed him. When the door closed, I turned the lock and said "See? All locked up."

Sorry, but I'll need to finish this up tomorrow. It's past my bedtime.

Stepping Out

I sent T a text last week, asking if he’d be free to meet for dinner this week. The wife is going to a game tonight and tomorrow, so we agreed on tonight and we’ll get to the restaurant around 6ish this evening. It’s not a “date” date, and I doubt anything will happen, but I’m still a little nervous and excited. You never know what may happen, right?

Originally he said he wouldn’t be able to because money was tight. I said I understood, but that I’d be happy to buy him a beer and share some nachos with him. So I’m paying for dinner and drinks and probably won’t get any action. Good heavens, it is a date!

More to come tomorrow (or so.)

Friday, June 20, 2014

Catching Up

This has been an uncharacteristically busy week. I mean, I barely had time to get in all my goofing off, that’s how busy it’s been. The boss went on vacation Wednesday so I thought I’d have some breathing room, but that didn’t turn out to be the case at all! But today, Friday, it’s calmed down enough for me to get a little writing in for my blog, so I’m going to take advantage of it while I can.

The wife and I are going to visit my older sister in Kentucky over the 4th of July weekend. We went last year and had a good time, but it rained the whole weekend! We made the best of it, and had a really good time, but my sister and I agreed that it would have been better with warmer, sunnier weather. Hopefully this year we’ll get that.

I’m still trying to keep in contact with T, but every time we’ve made plans to meet up for dinner he’s wound up backing out at the last minute for some reason or another. Although to be honest, the last time we had planned to meet I’d completely forgotten that I’d committed to meeting up with a friend who was in town for the weekend. I was just going to let T know that I wouldn’t be able to make it when he told me he couldn’t, so we laughed about it and said we’d try again soon.

The urgency to suck his (or, you know, *a*) cock still ranges between almost (but not quite) none to huge and throbbing. Right now it’s at that point where I kind of want to, but only with someone I’m completely comfortable with. T is the best near-term prospect, with Z (my buddy that I wrote about earlier) as a distinct but distant possibility in my mind. Z commented on one of my posts that our friendship (and my facial hair) would make it too weird and awkward, so probably that will never happen. (But Z, if you’re reading this, you also indicated the lack of blowjobs at home might make it tempting. If you ever get tempted enough, just let me know.)

I look on Craig’s List now and then out of mild curiosity, but nothing there even comes close to interesting me. But one ad did kind of stand out; the picture attached to the ad showed the guys face. Normally I don’t look twice at an ad like that; in my area, if a face is shown on a m4m ad, the guy is either trolling and looking to cause trouble, or someone is pranking him with a fake ad using his picture. But this one kind of stuck out because it looks an awful lot like my nephew! Yes, the nephew who was recently released from prison (or whatever it was) and is sharing an apartment with the niece.

I’m not exactly sure it’s him, because the person’s hair is shorter than I remember his being when we saw him back in May. Plus, he kind of has one of those faces where no feature really stands out so this person could just be someone who has that same thing going on. But looking at the picture, the couch he’s sitting on looks like it could be the one in their apartment. And the physical description (height, weight and age) would be about right. I’d hope he wouldn’t be stupid enough to post an ad with a face picture in it, but he did go to prison for doing something stupid so who knows?

If you’re wondering whether or not I’d considered answering the ad, well yes, of course I did consider it. But only for about 10 seconds before I realized how stupid that would be on my part. The most likely scenario is that someone is pranking him with the ad (maybe good-naturedly, maybe viciously) and my asking him about it would bring up a lot of questions I’d rather not answer in that case. “No, Uncle Curious, that’s not me. Some asshole was mad at me/playing a joke; I’d never do anything disgusting like that, ew! By the way, how did you happen to run across that ad? Huh? What’s up with that?”

But supposing it is really his ad; on the surface that would seem to be an almost ideal circumstance to play around a little. He’d have as much need for discretion as I would, and it’s not like I’d be bothered about the family connection, right? Under different circumstances, I’d definitely be tempted to look into it, if for no other reason than to find out if it’s really him.

Except he was dumb enough (either naturally or temporarily chemically assistance) to put his face on the ad! That implies he’d be dumb enough to blurt out something to the niece, especially if any chemical assistance was involved. And he’s at least capable of the same volatility that his mother (my oldest sister) was, especially if he were to wind up getting back into drugs. I could easily see him either attempting to blackmail me for money, or just getting irrationally pissed at me about something and telling people just to hurt me.

No, I think I’m better off just letting that one go; far better off!

Joke of the Week

A man goes into a Catholic church and tells the priest that he needs to confess.

"Go on," says the priest.

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I swore the other day." says the man.

"Continue," says the priest.

"I was on the golf course the other day and I hit my drive; it was looking perfect, heading dead straight. About 200 yards down my ball hit a power line crossing the fairway."

"And this is when you swore?" asked the priest.

"No Father, my ball then ricocheted off the power lines and flew off into the deep rough," continued the man.

"This must have been when you swore." the priest said.

"No Father, not yet. As i was walking over to the rough to hit my second shot a hawk flew down from the trees, picked my ball up in his beak and proceeded to fly off with it" continued the man.

"Ah I see," said the priest. "That was the point where you swore."

"No, not quite yet; as the bird flew over the green the ball fell from its mouth and landed two feet from the hole."

The priest gaped at the man. "You missed the fucking putt didn't you?"

Friday, June 13, 2014

It's Always Something - Part Two (Fuck Me)

My uncle called this past Tuesday and told me that the lease for drilling rights we signed back in 2011 was done, and the company wants to execute another lease. He asked me to contact the lawyer representing the company’s interests because he might not know that the oldest sister died and might need information from me.
I called him and, as lawyers go, he does a better job at pretending to be a real, caring human than most. He’d already found out about the death (“so sorry for your loss”) and did need help contacting her surviving husband and children. I gave him what information I could and also assured him I’d get the information to my brother-in-law so that he could call him.
Without having thought about it prior, I suddenly asked him if he knew about L. I explained her relationship to us and told him that we didn't do anything about it last time, but that I’d given her half of my share. I can only imagine what goes through a lawyer’s mind when they hear about someone giving someone else money when they have no legal obligation to do so, but he remained calm, and if his heart rate went up a good bit he did a good job of hiding it.
He told me that I’d done the right thing to tell him about it, but it was up in the air whether or not L had any legal claim. In the state of Texas, he said, normally she would certainly be entitled to an equal share of the inheritance. However, she was adopted, and since (as far as I can tell) it was a legal, valid adoption (as opposed to a family member “adopting” a child to raise as their own without any legal paperwork) it can be presumed that her biological mother (who was a minor at the time of L’s birth) and my father would have signed away parental rights. If that’s the case, then her legal claims to any of his property later would possibly also be forfeit*. He said he’d have to dig a little deeper to find out for sure and would let me know.
I was kind of disappointed in his answer, because I’d hoped that he would immediately say “Yes, she owns an equal share and there’s no question about it, and I’ll get out paperwork right away.” That way L would get what I consider her fair share without me having to try to convince the other sister or anyone else. It would be a fait accompli, and she would just have to deal with it. It would mean we’d each receive a little less money because the share would be in fours instead of threes.
Now with the likelihood that she would have no legal claim at all, it would again be up to me to do the right thing. It’s not that I don’t want to, but me giving up half is costing me a good bit more than if each of the three stakes (mine and my middle sister’s, and my oldest sister’s divided among her kids) gave up a quarter and did so legally. We’re not talking about life-altering sums of money here by any means, but the difference most of a house payment!
I got home and told the wife we were going out to eat instead of going to the gym. I waited until we’d been seated and had ordered before telling her that Uncle B called, and explained the lease proposal. I also said I talked to the lawyer about L and her legal status and was trying to explain where that stood, but she immediately started objecting and saying I shouldn't bring it up, and acted pissed when I pointed out that it’s too late. She asked if I’d said anything to L and I said I hadn't (I’d only known for a couple hours by this point myself) and she said “Well, don’t!” I told her what the lawyer said about L probably not having any legal claim, and she said something along the lines of “Just let it go then.” Frankly, her pushy, bossy attitude was pissing me off! I’m not going to act without talking to the wife about it, but I expect it to be a conversation between us, not her making commands about what I will say or do about it. It’s “our” money in the same sense that all of our money is “our” money, but this is one of the few times that I feel like the final decision is ultimately mine. I let it drop for the time being because I didn’t want to argue about it. I wanted to know what the lawyer found out before making a big issue out of it with the wife or anyone else.
The lawyer called back Thursday and, long story short, it’s up in the air. It depends on exactly what is written in the adoption papers, whether or not California law would trump Texas law (Dad lived in California at the time he died) and even then the law isn't exactly clear on the answer. We decided to table the issue for the time being, but we’ll have to look into it again if they do put some producing wells on the land. Then it becomes a matter of steady income versus a one-time payment.
For the moment, though, I’m stuck on what I should do. Or rather, I know what I should do, but everywhere I turn I have to deal with people who are hostile to the situation. This is how things break down:
1) Morally, I think L has the same legal claim to the land as we do. The three shares should become four equal shares. Without a clear interpretation of whatever laws are in play to force that to happen, it would require me to convince the older sister and the oldest sister’s family to agree to that split. If one or both say “no” (and I know the older sister would shut me out just because she won’t want to have any discussion that involves L) I have no leverage to force them to do it without causing a lot of animosity. There is the argument that they should agree to it because it would protect us all legally from potential problems down the road, but it’s not a very strong one because of the legal ambiguity.
2) The next option would be to have L sign what amounts to an agreement to the lease conditions without making a legal claim to the land, but also without relinquishing it should we determine down the road that she does have a legal claim. This would protect everyone from potential legal scenarios, and I would again just give her half of my share (minus federal taxes that I’d have to pay on the total.) I would prefer to do this for now, even though it’s really just a stop-gap measure. It would relieve my conscience and L would get some money I know she could use.
But that probably means an argument with the wife that would be less about the money than about her perception that once again I’d be bending over backwards sacrificing something of “ours” for L. I can’t deny that I haven’t done this, but in this case I think it’s different. But the wife won’t see it that way, and it will just build more of a wall between us.
And I can’t say for sure that L would go along with it quietly in any case. If I just told her a new lease is in the works and I'm giving her half of my share, like last time, that would most likely be fine with her. But asking her to sign some paperwork could be... tricky. She might simply refuse to sign anything, and be insulted that anyone would think she'd make trouble. She'd take it as a personal affront, not realizing (or caring) that it's as much for her protection as anyone else's.
3) Finally, I can not say anything to L and keep all the money for us. It keeps the peace with the older sister and with the wife, and if L doesn't know about it she won't miss it, right? Right.
Except I know, and I feel like shit about it. I'm betraying L by not standing up for her and making sure she gets what (in my mind) is rightfully hers. I really don't give a damn if the law says she has a valid claim or not, but I just don't know if I have the heart to face the shit storm from all sides if I try to fight it.
And yes, goddamn it, to my shame I have dollar signs in my eyes. If all of us agreed to share with L, it'd take a bite out of the amount we'd get. But giving up half would be a big chunk, and... well, fuck, why do I have to make all the god damned sacrifices? With this money, the wife and I can plan a vacation to the beach that won't put us deeper in the hole. Okay, L could use the money too, but her financial problems are largely the result from horribly bad decisions she's made over the past three years or so.

*I’m not a lawyer and I can’t vouch for the veracity of what the lawyer said; only that he said it. Please don’t jump in with your judgment of the legal situation unless you are a lawyer in Texas familiar with oil leasing, adoption and inheritance laws. Even then, unless you’re going to represent me or L for free, don’t bother. I mean no offense, but I don’t want to get in the middle of what you think should be the case versus what the lawyer in charge of the paperwork is saying. Besides, I’m not writing any of this in a bid to get legal advice from anyone.

Joke of the Week

James F. Break, who has a government job, is sitting at his desk when he received a package. He opened it, and found that there was an ancient lamp in it. Recalling stories of magic lamps, he rubbed it, and out popped a genie.

The genie said, "I will grant you three wishes, but be careful what you wis-"

"Give me a hundred billion dollars!" James interrupted.

The genie snapped his fingers, and James was instantly surrounded by stacks of hundred dollar bills. "And what is your second wish? Again, please be careful what you-"

James cried, "Bring me to my own private island with hundreds of supermodels (of both sexes, and some of them married!)"

The genie snapped his fingers, and there on the island they were. James was thinking of his third wish when he got a text from his boss, reminding him of a task that needed to be done.

Groaning, James said to the genie, "I don't want to work another day in my life!"

The genie snapped his fingers, and James was back at his desk.

Just teasing a little, James! :-)

FFF - No Predictions - 6/13/14

Happy World Cup Everyone!!!!!

WTF?  Panda bears and the World Cup?  
What's the connection oh great Advizor?

Here it is.....right here:

Key Words:  Prediction, Outcome
Word Limit:  369 words, 'cause I like 69
Forbidden Words:   Soccer, game, ball(s)
Casey wandered through the compound, looking for some clue what was expected of him. The letter had said his grandfather was dead, and he was to come here and search until he found “it.” Of course there had been no explanation of what “it” is, so he was flying blind.

It didn’t take long to search the main building, because there was nothing there. Every windowless room looked exactly like the others; empty, stark, and clean. Casey assumed they were mainly laboratories, but there were no hints as to what their functions were.

He crossed the yard to the small out building, reasoning that “it” must be there. He opened the door and was met by the pungent odor of gasoline and oil, and the site of an old lawnmower, a gas can, and several other tools and garden implements. He was just about to close the door in disappointment when he noticed the faint line making almost a perfect square in the floor. He pushed the lawnmower out of the way, exposing a recessed catch which he used to pull up the trap door. Stairs led down to the darkness below.

Cursing himself for not having a flashlight, Casey cautiously went down the steps. At the bottom he felt around for a switch and, finding one, flipped it. The lights came on to reveal another large, featureless room almost as empty, stark and clean as the others.

But not entirely empty; something leaned against the far wall. He couldn’t quite make out what it was until he move several feet to his right, changing his perspective. Ah, it was a giant, stuffed panda bear! “What the fuck?” Casey muttered.

Then almost screamed when the panda stood up! The brief flash of relief at realizing it was just someone in a panda costume was replaced by the horror at realizing it was someone in a panda costume, and he was alone with it!

The “panda” stood and raised its hands menacingly, then emitted a soft, muffled giggle as the body of the suit fell to reveal a trim, nude woman’s torso. Casey’s eyes widened and he began to wonder what her face looked like, when a sharp blow to the back of his head turned everything black.

I know the picture was meant to be light-hearted fun, and sexy, but the first thing I thought of was the Bunnyman movies. The girl in the picture is certainly better looking, and cleaner, but there’s something about the monochrome lighting that makes her being in a giant animal costume damn creepy to me. I guess the furry culture isn't for me.

I wrote this quickly and in one take with the intention to not do any editing except correcting typos and misspellings. Afterwards I realized I’d forgotten the required words and considered going back to add them, but that would have been counter to my goal.

I’m also over the word limit, but by happy coincidence it’s 377 words. Advizor54 chose 369 words because he likes 69; likewise, 377 words is a good number because I like 77. It’s like 69, but you get 8 more. (Sound it out in your head.)

Now get on over to Advizor's site and read the rest of this week's the wonderful entries. 

Thursday, June 12, 2014

It's Always Something - Part One (Land Ho!)

One of the few good things my (and L’s) father ever did was to be born into a family that had inherited stakes in an oil field. When he died, his share passed to my two older sisters and I. Most years it was just an annoying real estate tax of a few dollars that my uncle would pay and we kids would settle up with him whenever it reached an amount for which it was worth writing a check. Leave it to good ol’ Dad to make even an inheritance more trouble than it’s worth.

Three years ago, though, a company decided they liked the promise this land would bring and signed a three year lease for drilling rights. It turned out to be a tidy little sum of money; even though my sisters’ and my shares have been diluted through several generations of inheritance splits, we received a little over $2000 each. Unfortunately, the company never actually drilled so there was no additional money like there would have been if they had producing wells on the land, but I wasn’t going to complain.

Well now the company is signing another three year lease for the land, paying a little more than they did last time, and apparently this time the lease stipulates that if they don’t drill in two years, they’ll pay us another $1000 (or so.) This indicates that they are more serious about drilling, and they wouldn’t do this if they weren’t pretty sure that there is good production there, which means monthly earnings. Yay me, right? Well, here’s where it gets complicated.

Three years ago I told L about the lease deal and the land (I didn’t say anything before because it never occurred to me, and the land had been mostly worthless for all the time I’d had anything to do with it), and told her that legally she would probably be entitled to a share of what our Dad had passed down. She said then that she didn’t want to bother with it and cause even more trouble for me with the two older sisters. In reality, it probably just seemed easier for her to ignore it than to look into what she’d have to do to stake a claim.

Fair enough; I might have felt the same way if I’d been in her position. Still, knowing the money would help her, I gave her half of my share (adjusted for the Federal taxes I wound up paying on the total). At first she tried to decline it, saying she didn’t need it and didn’t feel right taking it. She still had a relatively good paying job at the time, and though she and B were on their way to divorce and money was tight, she wasn't really desperate. But I told her I wasn’t giving her the money based on whether or not she needed it; I was giving it to her because as far as I was concerned, she had as much right to it as I did. I didn’t bother talking to the two older sisters about it because I knew what their reaction (especially the oldest one) would have been.

I’m running out of time now, so I’ll continue thistomorrow or maybe this weekend when I can.

Monday, June 9, 2014

Weekend Update

Happy Monday everyone. This update features a little sex, a rare L sighting (these two are not related), some motorcycle riding, a hangover, and too much eating. So, all-in-all it was a good weekend.

The wife took Friday off just to use up some vacation time; she’s accumulated a lot of hours, and stands to lose some if she doesn’t keep it below a certain number. She planned to clean some then meet with her friend from work, one of the few girls there she gets along with.

Before I left for work, I’d asked her (a little teasingly) if she was going to play with herself that morning, but she said she’d probably be too busy. I said she’d have plenty of time, and that she should take some pictures to send me at work. She laughed me off, but later in the morning she sent me a picture of her boobs when she got out of the shower. Of course I sent her a picture of my dick; I’m a gentleman, after all, and fair is fair.

I got home about my normal time that evening, and we had a few hours to kill before heading over to Z’s house for his daughter’s high school graduation party. I asked the wife about her day and her “date with her friend (I tease her about them being girlfriends) and when I asked if she’d played with herself, she blushed and said she had. After a few minutes of my pressing for details about it, we were both pretty worked up and headed to the bedroom for some fun.

We went to Z’s later and had a pretty good time. I didn’t drink as much as I usually do when he and I get together, but I did have a pretty good buzz by the time we left. Z and his whole family were leaving for the beach the next day, Saturday, and he told the wife and I that we could come over and use their pool anytime we wanted this week. I hope we have a chance to this week because they live in a quiet neighborhood, and their back yard is pretty secluded; it’s a good setup for shenanigans. We’ll see if anything comes of it.

L and B came into town Saturday morning so that L could get the things she’d been storing at a friend of hers, and so that B could take his father shopping. J doesn’t drive, so B comes in every couple of weeks to drive him around on his errands. Originally L was going to come by herself and meet the wife and I for lunch, but B decided to take the day off (he was scheduled to work) so they could come together. It wound up being the four of us, J, and B’s son Little B from his first marriage. (Little B isn’t exactly little, but you know how it is with sons who have the same name as their dads.) It was a nice visit for lunch, but it was too short. If L had come in by herself the three of us probably would have hung out for a good bit longer. Still, J paid for lunch so I can’t complain too much.

Later the wife and I hopped on the bike and rode some, then came home and had a light dinner. We watched California Chrome miss out on winning the Triple Crown; I was really hoping he'd win, and not just because I had bet some money on it. But the way the races are setup now, it may be a long, long time before there's a horse with enough stamina to win all three races. (For those of you unfamiliar with it, the Triple Crown is made up of the Kentucky Derby, the Preaknis, and the Belmont Stakes.)

I brought out the tequila and had a good amount of that while the wife stuck to bourbon. I knew I was crossing a line with how much I was drinking, but felt like it was about time to have a nice little binge. I didn’t get blackout drunk, but I was definitely in a good mood. I had a hangover Sunday morning, but nothing dreadful; a handful of ibuprofen spread throughout the day took care of it.

We did a little more riding Sunday, and I cooked us some steaks for dinner. We had some wine while letting the night wind down, and then went to bed early.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

The Term "Hero" is Overused

I mentioned going to a ball game with the wife when we were in Pigeon Forge two weeks ago; we had a pretty good time (two 24 oz. cans of beer helps even if you don’t like baseball) and we didn’t have to stay for the whole game, so I had a less miserable time than I expected.

If you’ve never been to a live Professional game (Minor or Major League), they have games and events between innings to kind of keep the audience engaged, especially the kids who have the attention span of hey, is that a squirrel running around outside? Nice weathertoday; I’m glad I rode my bike to work.

Where was I? Oh, right; the events between innings. Well, as that was Memorial Day weekend, the stadium was having what I think they called Military Appreciation Night. And during one of the between-inning events, they turned a camera on a Marine in the audience, a Lieutenant or maybe a Captain, and the announcer said something along the lines of “This Memorial Day Weekend, let’s honor a true American Hero™ Caption mumble-mumble, and all members of the Armed Forces!”

As would be expected, the crowd applauded and did some hooting and hollering, and the Captain smiled and waved a bit, looking a little embarrassed. The camera lingered on him and he continued smiling, but as the moment went on it was obvious that he was becoming really uncomfortable. I felt bad for him, because I know exactly how he was feeling.

There are several reasons for someone in his position that night to be embarrassed and uncomfortable. For one, the camera stayed on him far longer than was necessary; most people don’t want to be under that much scrutiny in a large crowd. And two, what most people seem to not realize (or conveniently forget when you can have a promotion that might drive more beer sales) is that Memorial Day is set aside to honor those who gave their lives (i.e. died) in service. Veterans Day is when we should honor all military veterns. To some this may seem a pedantic distinction, but it’s really not; there is a huge, non-trivial difference between serving your country and dying while serving your country.

A third possible reason for his discomfort is that he (most likely) IS NOT A FUCKING HERO! Okay, it’s possible that he saved someone’s life, or went above and beyond the call of duty while in Iraq or Afghanistan, or wherever he may have been deployed, but if that were the case, that almost certainly would have been part of the announcement. Since it wasn’t, then it’s reasonable to assume that the park officials who set it all up (and yes, it would have been with the Captain’s knowledge and approval) were honoring him as a “hero” just for being in the military.

I don’t mean to be a dick about it, and I’m not trying to take anything away from his or anyone else’s service. It’s hard being in the military, especially during times of war; and it’s great that so many people in this country want to honor those in the military, and recognize the job they’re doing. There is no better feeling in the world, to my mind, than to be welcomed back home after being deployed to a war zone and seeing family and friends you haven’t seen for a long time.

I’ll grant you that people who have joined the military since September 2011 have done so under entirely different circumstances than when I joined in 1986. They’re joining todaywith the certain knowledge that they could be involved in any number of foolish, unnecessary conflicts our foolish, unnecessary politicians might start anywhere in the world. If I were 20 again, and in the same circumstances as I was in 1986, I can’t say that I would join today’s Army. Despite that, the term “hero” does not automatically apply to all soldiers; it still has to be earned.

After the first Iraq war was over, and we were waiting to be deployed back home, a story made the rounds about a soldier whose crew came under fire. Their vehicle was destroyed, and despite being badly wounded, the story goes, this soldier dragged several of his unconscious crew members out of the line of fire and kept them alive until medics could get there. I never found out of this story was actually true, but assuming it was then that soldier was a true, bona fide hero. I just feel it cheapens the designation for people like him who actually acted in a heroic manner to call every soldier a hero just because they were in the military.

If you appreciate the sacrifices the men and women of the Armed Forces have made to serve their country, then by all means tell them. Thank them for their service and buy them lunch if you are able. Just save the term “hero” for those who truly deserve it.

Friday, June 6, 2014

Joke of the Week

Three men are standing at the Pearly Gates, waiting entry into Heaven. St. Peter tells them, "As you all know, God has a sense of humor; his latest idea is to put the Kingdom of Heaven several hundred miles from the Pearly Gates."

"How is that supposed to be funny?" one guy asks.

"Well, God had the novel idea of allowing those admitted into Heaven a vehicle to travel that distance, but the quality of your vehicle is based upon how faithful you were to your spouse."

Knowing they can't argue and that God obviously knows all, the men begin confessing their infidelity.

"I admit I screwed around behind my wife's back, but I broke it off with the girl before my wife found out." One man admits.

"Very well," St. Peter responds and gives him a standard bicycle. The guy shrugs and feels a little better confessing.

The second man says with a grin, "I've never actually cheated on my wife." St. Peter raises a skeptical brow. "Okay... There was one time, but it was technically before we were married! I was drunk and I didn't know what I was doing but I've never been unfaithful after that!" With a heavy sigh St. Peter grants the second man a car--but in terrible condition.

The third man says proudly, "I've never been unfaithful. Never." The other two stare at the third in disbelief.

"No, he's right." St. Peter confirms. "He's been faithful the whole time. In fact he lost his virginity to his wife." The other two men gape in jealous amazement as the third man is granted a brand new sports car.

The third man obviously can make it down the long, glittering highway toward the Kingdom of Heaven faster than the other two. However, the first man on the bicycle finds the third man pulled over not too far down the road. Perplexed, he rides to the sports car and finds the man sobbing into his steering wheel.

"What's wrong, wise-guy, is this Italian muscle too much for you?" he gloats.

"No..." the third man tries to gain composure. "It's not that... The car is beautiful!"

"Then what's your problem?"

"I just passed my wife and she was on roller-skates!"

At this point, I'd probably be walking AFTER they took away my shoes!

FFF - True Believer - 6-6-2014

Word Count:  5 verses of 4 lines each
Required Word:  Devotion
Forbidden Work:  Servant
Extra Credit;  Name her Faith
Bonus Words:  Tell us about the last time you were on your knees.
"Can I be your serva-"

"Shall I pray to you every day?"
"I'll pray harder, longer, more fervently than anyone!"

"Will you always be there for me?"
"Shall I tell others about you?"

"Do you like me naked and kneeling?"
"Shall I deliver the unbelievers to you?"

"I will tell everyone of your endless patience, mercy, and love."
"And I will kill those who don't believe it."

I wrote this quickly (obviously) Monday morning; now it's Thursday and I'm finally getting time to work on the rest of the post, to be published tomorrow. Honestly, I don't like it as much as I did then. Oh, I'll leave it up, for good or bad, and take my lumps as they may be.

Now go read this week's wonderful entries over at Avizor's site, and have a great weekend! The Joke of the Week will be up later today.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Better Than the Alternative, I Suppose

I’ll be 49 in a few months, and this should no longer be the case but I still have moments where I’m amazed to find out that I’m an adult! I have a wife; I have a good job and make decent money; I pay bills; I own cars; I have a mortgage; I HAVE A HOUSE! These are all things adults have; I have all these things; ergo, I’m an adult! This is absolutely mind-blowing at times!

Then it takes me five minutes to get out of bed in the morning because of the aches and pains, and it all becomes depressingly real; I’m glad I’m an adult, but do I have to be so damned old?

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Monday Evening Fever

Last night the wife and I were at the gym for Cardio (cardiac) Jam; it’s similar to Zumba except that where Zumba is fluid and has a heavy Latino influence, Cardio Jam is more urban hip-hop. But I’m a fat, middle-aged white guy so it’s all the same to me; I can’t dance worth a shit no matter what the music is.

I’m not going to lie and say we’ve been every week, but I think I’ve been there seven out of the last ten, and the wife goes if she doesn’t have a game. And I am getting better, both in my stamina and, if not at “dancing” then at least at recognizing the movements. I’ll never look good doing the steps, but I can do them with more confidence now. And now that I’m getting the steps down, I can do them more enthusiastically and get a better workout.

When we first started, I would get frustrated with the transitions from one move to the next, and often spend more time trying to catch up than actually doing them. Plus, 20 minutes into the hour long class, I’d be huffing and puffing and having to take little breaks while everyone around me kept going (or so it seemed at the time.) Now I’m catching on quicker to the changes and can keep going longer between rests. And I’ve noticed some of the women struggle with the steps I’ve “mastered” (Ha!), and that makes me feel good.

Most of the time I’m the only guy in the class, which sounds like it’d be fun; watching all those ladies jumping and shaking and grinding and whatnot. But honestly, I don’t even pay much attention to it once the class starts. It’s just a bunch of bodies I have to be careful not to trip over. I mentioned this to Simplicity the other day and she said “Yea, but I bet all the women love having you in there for the eye-candy.” Simplicity is sweet, but honestly if I’m eye-candy, it’s the weird stuff you get from Japan Ten minutes in I’m sweating heavily; by the end of class I literally wring the sweat out of my shirt, and I have to take an extra one to change into so I don’t drench the upholstery on the car.

Last night there was another male in the class; he was younger than me, several inches shorter than me, and even more overweight than I am. If he’d been White, I would have given myself even odds that I’d do better than him; but he was Black, so he figuratively danced rings around me. I’m really not trying to be racist, and I know I shouldn’t stereo-type people, but seriously, as soon as I saw him I knew he’d be better at the moves than I am. And he was, hands down. He was a few people over and behind me, so I didn’t see him often, but when I did he was moving as fluidly and confidently as I don’t. If the women were going to consider anyone eye-candy, it would be him. (Yes, I’m a little jealous.)

And to make it worse, as we were leaving we passed him and one of the ladies from the class (after I’d gone into the restroom to wring out my t-shirt and change into a dry one). I overheard him say “Oh, that was just my first time in that class.” Mother fucker!

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Joke of the Week

A man is on vacation in Hawaii. Walking along the beach one day, he finds an old lamp. He picks it up and brushes it off, freeing the genie trapped inside.

The genie says, "My good man, thank you for freeing me from this lamp. As a token of my gratitude, you may have three wishes."

The man is elated. "I wish I could have a Ferrari!" The genie snaps his fingers and a shiny red Ferrari materializes in front of him.

The man, delighted by his lucky turn in life, excitedly says, "I wish to be a billionaire!" The genie once again makes it so.

The man, now decked in the finest suit money could buy (inevitably to be coated with sand anyway), scans the secluded beach and says, "Genie, you have given me everything I ever wanted. But one thing I'd like is a road connecting California to Hawaii."

The genie looks dismayed. "Look man, that's really difficult for me to do. That's like 2000 miles, plus there's the water to deal with, so it would be almost impossible. Is there anything else you might want?"

Just then, a beautiful woman comes strolling down the beach in the opposite direction. The man quickly turns to the genie before she comes closer and says, "I have never been good with the opposite sex. Make me understand women! Help me understand exactly what goes on in their heads, what really makes them tick. All the money and Ferraris in the world could not make me any better at that. Yes, that's what I want."

The genie thinks about it for a moment, then asks, "Do you want two lanes or four?"

There are a lot of holes in this joke; what good would a 2000 mile road between Hawaii and California be without hotels along the way? And gas stations? But it's still kind of funny.

I apologize for being late with the joke this week. I try to get them posted on Friday, but sometimes I'm busy at work or otherwise distracted and I just don't get it done. 

Oh, and there probably won't be a weekend update this week, unless something notable happens today (which isn't likely.) We've had a nice weekend, and did some riding, but there just isn't enough to write about. But I will try to do a FFF this week, if I can get the writing part of my brain to work.