Quick Update

The wife will be up soon, so I'm posting a quick update while I can. I may try to post a bit more tomorrow during the magic hours when I'm awake and she's still asleep. No promises, though.

Anyway, mom is back at the memory care facility. The hospital sent her back Thursday, and we stopped in to see here that evening. She was sleeping, and fidgeting, and though I called out a few times she didn't wake up. To be honest, I didn't really want to wake her because I wasn't sure how she'd react.

Friday morning my sister texted me saying that the attendant at the facility told her mom had eaten all of her breakfast, by herself! That was certainly some much-needed good news! I decided to leave work early (at lunch time), and stopped by to see her. When I got there I talked with one of the nurses there for a few minutes, and she confirmed that Mom was having a good day. Still not very communicative, though she'd say "yes" or nod and smile from time to time.

She woke up when I went into her room, and I sat on the side of her hospital bed (which makes it easier for her to sit up, and for them to help her out of bed) and talked with her a bit. She didn't really talk, but looked at me and smiled while I chattered on. After a few minutes her focus started drifting, so I said I'd let her get some rest and the wife and I would come by the next day (today.) I asked if she'd like that, and she smiled and nodded. I gave her a quick hug, as good as I could with her laying down, and said "I love you," and she said "I love you, too."

I don't know how long mom has left. She's under hospice care, with a DNR, so there will be no more blood transfusions or IVs to keep her hydrated. The focus is on comfort, and my sister and I agree that is the best course. These up days may be fleeting, but I'll hold onto them and appreciate them while I can.

NAO 7 - Interrupted!

No sense putting this part off: the wife and I drank last night. I didn't succumb to an overwhelming need, I just decided that I wanted to drink and the wife was happy to go along. We'll likely drink tonight as well, as my sister and her husband are in town, but we've agreed that we know now that we can go without drinking during the week, and we'll continue to do that going forward. We'll see how long that lasts. ("During the week" is defined as Monday through Thursday when we both have to work the next day. Holidays and Vacations excluded.)

The reason my sister and her husband are in town is because our mother took a turn for the worse Thursday morning. The care center she's in called my sister and told her that mom was unresponsive and vomiting, and that they were having her sent to the hospital. R and D started packing immediately but were also waiting for more information before leaving.

Over the next few hours we got disturbing news about mom's condition: still unresponsive, extremely low blood pressure which they weren't able to stabilize with transfusions, and fecal matter and blood present in the vomitus. All of which painted a pretty grim picture for mom.

R and D got into the area late Thursday night, and her last message to me was that mom was stable, and she'd let me know more of what she found out the next day. I had to work yesterday, and there wasn't a lot I could do for mom if I were there, but I did leave early yesterday afternoon to join R and D with mom at the hospital.

It turns out that her primary issues were (are) bowel compaction due to constipation, and dehydration. The doctor told us that the fecal matter and blood in her vomitus was actually just trace amounts, and not indicative of internal bleeding or any of the other really bad things we'd been warned of that could be the problem. Once they got fluids in her she stabilized and her blood pressure went up to a much more normal level. Mom was sleeping when I got to the room, and would wake up for a moment or two before drifting off back to sleep.

Around 3 pm yesterday a therapist came in to give mom breathing treatment, which involves using a mask to force vapor from Alburteral into her lungs. Mom put up with that for about 10 minutes before starting to become agitated, which then moved to "combative" (she grabbed the therapists hand holding the mask over her face and forced it away.) From that point on she remained agitated for the rest of the time that I was there.

Mom hasn't been very communicative for the past four or five weeks when we go to visit her. She'll say "hello" and answer simple, yes-or-no questions, but she doesn't initiate dialogue. She was much the same way yesterday, but when I told her that I was going to have to go get the wife (we still only have the one vehicle for now) and that I love her, she said "I love you too." 

About a half hour later R texted that mom had become more agitated, taking a swing at her (but missing) and screaming "shut up shut up shut up!" Mom's doctor ordered that someone be with mom at all times so that she doesn't get out of bed or rip off her IV lines, so when an attendant go there R and D left. R was upset, but it's not her first rodeo dealing with mom.

Anyway, I was tempted to drink Thursday night when all of this came up, but decided against it. Sometime Friday morning, when I decided I'd leave work once I got some things I needed to do done, I also decided that I would have a drink or two that night. It felt like the right time, and though I didn't complete the full month I feel like we accomplished at least having better control over it. Maybe that's all denial, though.

I still haven't heard the final decision from the insurance company of the guy who caused the wreck last Friday. Monday evening the adjuster called me and had me recount the events of the accident while she recorded me. Afterward, she told me that she was still waiting to get statements from the lady I hit and their customer, and then they'd contact me about their determination of their liability. 

I'm almost resigned to hearing that they decided they aren't liable since their customer didn't hit anyone. The lady I hit, as far as I know, didn't run into any of the pallets, so the insurance people may decide that I was travelling too close and failed to stop in time. My argument is that I'd just merged onto the highway when the events took place and had no time to establish safe following distance, but that may fall on deaf ears. 

Now that NAO has ended, I don't know how much motivation I'll have to continue updating. I'll probably try to update on mom and how the insurance thing works out, but I can't promise anything. I do thank you all for indulging me my soapbox while reading my posts, and know that I love you all!

NAO Update 6 - A Close Call

I almost drank last night. I didn't, but it was a close thing. We had to get up early this morning because the wife is working, and that played a part in the decision not to drink. I'm glad this morning that we didn't drink last night, but again, it was a close thing.

Two weeks after the transmission went out in my vehicle, and one week after paying over $2200 to have it repaired, I got into a wreck yesterday (Friday) on my way home from work. I rear-ended a car in front of me right after merging onto the bypass; the driver of that car had to stop because wooden pallets were falling off the trailer in front of her.

Good news:

1. Nobody was hurt.
2. The responding officer didn't cite me for the accident because there really wasn't anything I could do to avoid it.
3. The driver cited for "failure to secure load" has insurance, and it's not a fly-by-night outfit like SafeAuto (whom I have a personal grudge against.)
4. This happened in my car, the 15 year-old beater, and not our newer vehicle.
5. I was able to drive the car home, so it doesn't have to be towed
6. We have another vehicle, so I'm not stranded. 
7. I can ride my motorcycle to work, if necessary.
8. I have some funds to buy a cheap, reliable replacement if necessary
9. Nobody was hurt!

Bad news:

1. I JUST PAID TO HAVE THE TRANSMISSION REPAIRED!
2. I'll have to listen to the wife's passive-aggressive complaints about not having her car.
3. The $2200 I spent on the transmission would have gone a long way towards getting a replacement.
4. The at-fault driver's insurance may refuse to pay, saying that I should have been able to stop.
5. If his insurance doesn't pay for my damage, they may try to not pay for the damage to the car I rear-ended.
6. Even if his insurance pays, I'm sure they'll "total" my car, which means I'll get maybe $1000 tops (15 year-old car.)
7. The dash-cam video I should have, which probably wouldn't have made any difference to insurance decisions one way or another, doesn't exist. The data on the card got corrupted somehow (cheap dash-cam cameras will do that) so there's nothing.

All in all, it could have been worse. 

After dinner, I was really tempted to drink, and the wife was all for it! But we knew we'd have to get up early this morning, so I was trying to convince myself that we'd just have one drink, maybe two at the most. I knew, though, that I wouldn't stop at two, and maybe not three. And even if I did stop at one or two, I'd feel like I'd wasted the excuse to drink. I know that sounds kind of fucked up, but it was that more than anything that led me to deciding just not to drink at all. I think the wife was a little disappointed, but like me, this morning she was happy that we'd stuck to our "NAO" pledge.

I'll write another update soon once I find out whether his insurance will pay for my damages, and what I wind up being able to do.

(Poorly Named) NAO Update 5 - No Sex This Time

Saturday morning, and 11 days in I’m still keeping NAO going! The wife is working this morning, so I finally have plenty of time to write an update. The problem with having plenty of time is that I wind up procrastinating, or getting too much into my own head and second thinking myself, and I often wind up writing nothing at all. So if you’re reading this, no matter how bad it is, I at least got over that hump.

I went to lunch yesterday with a few coworkers, to a place near work that has the best wings around! (I’m actually planning to take the wife there tomorrow, Sunday, so she can try it out for herself.) Patti (“not with a ‘y’, dammit!”) went with us for the first time, as did the new guy who just started this week.

I only mention Patti because the conversation turned to weekend plans and coworker R asked if I was going to have a cigar and scotch that night. I said no, and explained about “no alcohol October”, and Patti said “Oh, Sober October!” God dammit, where was she when I was first writing about this and needed a title?!

I got my vehicle back yesterday; it cost me $2200 to get the transmission rebuilt. I had to really consider whether a 15-year-old vehicle was worth the expense, but other than the busted transmission it’s been fine (for a GM vehicle.) Would I be able to get a better one for the same $2200? Probably not, or at least not with any guarantees. If I start having to spend more money on it, I may have to rethink it, but for now I’ll hope it limps along for three more years.

My first real test of Sober October NAO (dammit!) came Wednesday night. I’d been frustrated at work, then got home to the wife passively aggressively complaining about not having “her” car while mine’s in the shop. We went out to dinner because I’d worked late and didn’t feel like cooking anything, and I was just on edge the whole evening. When we got home, while she took a shower, it was about all I had to not take a sneaky shot or two of tequila just to take the edge off.

I didn’t, of course, and when the wife was done with her shower I told her I was going to ride the motorcycle to work until my car was ready. She didn’t want me to do that, stating that Thursdays and Fridays are always the worst for accidents on I81 and it wouldn’t be safe. She finally understood that I was pissed about her complaints earlier and apologized, which made me feel small. (And there were accidents on I81 North Thursday evening that made me almost an hour late getting home.)

Anyway, we talked it out and I calmed down, and after a good, sober night’s sleep I felt less edgy on Thursday. I wound up leaving work early Friday (right after lunch, in fact) to pick up my vehicle (the shop closes at 3 pm on Fridays), so all is well again.

I just finished a book trilogy, The 5^th Wave by Rick Yancey. Despite a few glaring inconsistencies and plot holes, I really enjoyed the series. The ending was a bit formulaic, but was wrapped up nicely. I’d like Yancey to write a follow-up novel, or maybe even a series, to follow some of the survivors after the main events, but maybe that wouldn’t be a good idea.

A couple years ago I read The Silent Corner by Dean Koontz. It’s the first in a five-book Jane Hawk series, and it was a good read. I’ve been reading Koontz for decades, and though I’ve always been a bit put off by his preachiness, he does write well.

I think the first Koontz I read was Watchers, and I don’t remember his preachiness being quite as bad back then as it’s steadily become. My eyes generally wind up aching because of how often I’m rolling them as Koontz goes on and on about the “moral decay of society” and how the “elites” are the biggest danger to civilization (as if being educated is a bad thing.) His straw-man arguments against liberal and progressive ideals start to grate on me after a while, and I wind up having to take a long break from reading him. It took me longer than it should have to finish the Odd Thomas series (to be fair, they did tend to drag a bit even without the right-wing ideology, but were still compelling reads.)

Anyway, I recently got about half-way through the second book in Koontz’s Jane Hawk series and I think I’m finally done with any of his new stuff. The bad finally outweighs the good when it comes to reading him; his characters, both the “good guys” and the “bad guys” have become one-dimensional (they always were, I suppose) and the overall pessimism about society in general is just too dark. It’s at its worst when I’m nodding and agreeing with him, and I don’t need outside pessimism reinforcing my own!

I know nobody is interested in my thoughts, politically or literately, but I don’t have a lot of a sexual nature to write about, so this is what you get. At least until the Cowboys start playing better!

NAO Update 4 - More from T

Sunday morning, and NAO is going strong! So far I haven’t had any real temptations to break down and have a drink, which is good. On the other hand, it’s only been 5 days so far, so I’m not going to let my guard down just yet.

Edit: The wife woke up earlier than expected again, so I didn’t get this finished yesterday. It’s now Monday morning, and though the Cowboys’ woeful performance yesterday had me on the brink of giving in, I still remained strong and didn’t drink!

I forgot to mention that Friday morning, on my way to work, my vehicle broke down. The transmission went out just as I accelerated to pass a truck going up a hill on 81 South. A coworker coming from the same direction picked me up on her way in, and I was able to get in contact with the guys I normally have work on my vehicles. I wound up leaving work early to get that dealt with, and enjoyed an unexpected day off. Now I just have to hope getting the transmission rebuilt in a 2004 Trailblazer won’t be too expensive; I’m not ready to give it up and get a different one right now. Despite that, Friday night went okay (as I wrote previously) and I wasn’t tempted to drink.

So after my encounter with the guy from Grindr that Sunday (again, this was back in August) I went about my day, finishing up the work I had gone in to do. I texted him a little later, thanking him for the good time and that I was looking forward to another opportunity to get together. He said he was too, and we agreed to work something out soon.

Sometime around that Wednesday, I texted him that I would probably have some time the following Sunday after noon, and that I wouldn’t be in such a rush. He said he’d be available, and over the next few days he texted me (we’d exchanged cell numbers) to confirm Sunday and keep in touch. I’d suspended my Grindr account and deleted the app from my phone because I was getting tired of the constant messages from people who I tried to make clear I wasn’t interested in.

Also that week I realized that my annual physical was coming up, and that I’d have to decide if I wanted to take just a few hours off work or if I wanted to take the whole day off. I contacted T to let him know I could possibly be available, and he said he would definitely have time that day.

That Saturday the other guy and I texted about Sunday, and though I was still wanting to get together with him, I also started feeling a little anxious about it. I don’t know why, and I can’t explain it even now, but I just didn’t feel as comfortable with the idea as I had earlier in the week. I figured I’d get over it, and everything would be fine, but by Sunday morning I realized I was so uptight about it that I just didn’t want to go through with it. I texted him around 11:30 to say “Hey, sorry, the wife changed her plans and I’m not going to be able to make it.” This was a complete lie, but as soon as I sent it I felt a lot calmer.

He didn’t reply that day, and I felt bad that I’d backed out at the last minute, but I felt like it was the right move.

A few days later he sent a text asking how I was doing, and we chatted a bit. I apologized for backing out and he said no problem, and that we could try again. I agreed.

The following Monday was when I would be having my physical, so that Friday I texted T to make sure we were still on. I was excited about meeting up with him again because not only did I think I’d be more comfortable since we’d had an encounter before, he and I are truly friends outside of any shenanigans. He said everything was still go on his end, and I said I’d text him Monday when I was free.

Monday came, and my physical went well and was over quicker than I thought. We’d originally agreed to meet up around 11, but after he found out I was done by 9:30 he said come on over whenever I was ready. I had to go home first and get something to eat, and some coffee, so I told him I’d text when I was on the way.

I’d had a bit more to drink the night before than I should have (a condition that was becoming more frequent than I’d like) and was feeling kind of shaky. Getting some food and coffee helped, but I was still in kind of a funk by the time I left for T’s. I was still excited with anticipation, though, so I pressed on.

T and his husband moved into a really nice neighborhood, and I was impressed with the house. T met me at the door and we chit-chatted for a few minutes before he offered to take me on a tour of the house. It’s not a large house (though certainly bitter than mine), so it wasn’t long before we finished up the tour in (surprise) the bedroom.

The conversation turned to what I was there for, haltingly, and we kind of tripped over ourselves to figure out where each of us were. I was far more nervous that I’d anticipated, and really needed T to make the first move, but that’s not T. I was trying to figure out how I would proceed, and considered going in for a kiss. That’s when I noticed 1) that I could smell T’s breath and it wasn’t good, and 2) that there was quite a bit of build-up around his gums. Like he hadn’t brushed, and probably doesn’t floss regularly. I’m not really a stickler for extreme hygiene, but that was really a turn off.

He asked me what I was comfortable with, and I told him I wanted to blow him, and I was good with him blowing me if he wanted to (he confirmed he did), but that I was still uncomfortable with kissing. He said that was fine, and somehow we managed to start taking our clothes off.

I’ve said before that for me, it’s all about the dick and I’m not much concerned with the guy’s looks 

or even general level of fitness. I know T is overweight, and it didn’t bother me. He has put on 20 lbs or so since the last time I’d seen him, but he didn’t look sloppy. Until he took his clothes off; then he just looked soft and saggy. I know I don’t have a lot of room to talk, as I’m still about 20 lbs over where I should be, but it was a little unsettling.

Still, this is my friend, and this is still what I want to do (though the enthusiasm was waning a bit) so we got on the bed and started fooling around. I quickly made my way down to his dick, and was relieved to find that he hadn’t neglected that area of cleanliness. I licked and sucked, enjoying the tastes and textures of his dick and balls, but he never got truly hard.

The way we were laying gave him access to me, and soon we were in a 69 position. Once we got started I wasn’t as nervous, and I was getting into it and he was too, finally. Suddenly, one of their dogs who’d been barking from the basement from the time I arrived was suddenly barking from outside the door. T jumped up and said “That’s weird, how’d he get out?” He pulled his drawers on and went to the door.

I started feeling a little paranoid and said “should I get dressed?” He didn’t reply (and may not have heard me over the barking of the dog) and left to take him/her back downstairs. I sat on the bed feeling more and more uncomfortable, until several minutes later when T returned. “Sorry about that, I guess the door wasn’t completely closed.”

I laughed (nervously chuckled, really) and told him I was wondering if I should get dressed. He smiled and said no, Peter wouldn’t be home until much later, and besides he knew I was there so it wouldn’t be a problem anyway. The idea of Peter knowing not just that someone was over, but that it was me (though we’ve never formally met) started getting in my head.

T took his drawers off and we resumed, but I was no longer anywhere near having, or getting, an erection. His arousal seemed to have waned as well, and he apologized and wondered why he was so nervous. I asked him if he’d want to fulfill a fantasy of mine, which is to lay back and have him straddle me and fuck my face. He eagerly agreed, but then I realized that he had a different picture in mind. He wanted me to lay back on the bed with my head over the side while he stood behind me.

This was fine, I guess, but it did put me in a position where my head was a lot closer to his ass than I’d anticipated. He started to get hard again, and I was able to put all that out of my mind as he fucked my mouth. A few minutes later he pulled out and started playing with himself while I licked and sucked his nut sack, and when he was getting ready to cum he put his cock back in my mouth.

I had my cell out and was recording (I thought) everything, and when he came I tried to get some open mouth views. I found out later that I wasn’t recording at all, and that was disappointing, but still I got what I’d wanted.

He tried to suck me some more, and I made a valiant effort to cum because he wanted it, but I just couldn’t. I went from semi to nothing, back to semi, then back to nothing, and finally told him it wasn’t going to happen. We got dressed, chit-chatted a little while longer, then I left.

Overall, and I hate to say it because T is a friend, the experience was underwhelming. Some, maybe a lot, of it had to do with I was still a little shaky and feeling cruddy from the drinking the night before. But in any event, it just left me feeling less enthusiastic about the experience than I had previously.

The kicker is that, since then, I haven’t had any desire at all to get with another guy. The Grindr dude has gotten in contact several times since then, and I keep putting him off (which, since the baseball season is over my availability is almost non-existent anyway.) I don’t want to flat out tell him I’m just not interested, because the desire may come back at some point and why burn bridges?

Of course, I did get aroused Saturday morning writing about my encounter with him, so maybe that desire is starting to come back, at least a little. Time will tell, I suppose.

NAO Update 3

Another NAO update, and if you can stand it an update related to sexual things.

(I wrote this Saturday morning, but the wife woke up unexpectedly early and I didn’t get a chance to finish and post.)

Saturday morning, and I’m feeling pretty good. The wife and I had a nice night of watching TV, a mixture of a movie (In the Tall Grass), a couple of episodes of a great show (The Good Place), and a little college football before bed. Early on I felt a little anxiety about not drinking on a Friday night, but that faded. I think it was mostly just missing the ritual of it.

I will reiterate that this is simply no alcohol October; Come the night of November 1 (conveniently a Friday), I will have a few drinks. But maybe I’ll be in a better position to regulate how much I drink, and how often. Time will tell.

Long-time readers know that not only do I get the urge to suck a cock, that urge swings from being mild to being downright necessary. Back in April or May that urge started become strong again, and I realized it’s been five years since I last got to blow a guy, so I went on Grindr to see what I could find. Almost immediately after starting the account I was getting messages, which just goes to show what horn-dogs men can be whether straight, gay, or anything in between.

A few prospects looked promising, but as often happens with me the logistics just wouldn’t work out. I have to balance my comfort level with the person I’m talking to, their availability matching my own, the distance I am from them, and where we can meet. I can never host, and I can only do anything if the wife is at a baseball game (generally speaking), and I simply won’t take a chance on getting caught doing anything “lewd” in public. For some reason, that tends to piss guys off when we’re talking.

Early on, one dude messaged me through the app with “Wanna suck this cock?” The guys location was nearby, and his profile picture seemed normal enough (I’m not really into a guy’s looks, but I do have some standards), and he was around my age. Still, even though I’m no prude, and I’m certainly not looking for romance in these encounters, that opening gambit just sort of rubbed me (giggity) the wrong way. I deleted the message without comment, and concentrated on a few other guys who looked promising.

A few days later I went into the app, and immediately got the same message from the same guy. This time I texted back “Just curious: does that line ever work?” He replied back “Yea, sometimes, but not with you I guess.” I replied with a “LOL” and deleted the message. I considered blocking the guy, but decided not to. He got the message, right?

Meanwhile my friend T contacted me during this time, and told me that he and his husband had decided to “open up” their marriage. I’m happy that he told me that, because two days earlier I’d seen his husband’s profile in Grindr, and I wrestled with whether or not I should tell T. Turns out that he knew and was okay with it. Unfortunately, T’s availability is only during the week before 2:30 PM (when their kids come home from school), so though the possibilities were intriguing, I didn’t know if it was going to work out or not. We kept in touch, though, just in case.

Come a Sunday in August and I’m going in to work early in the morning to catch up on a few hours I’d missed during the week (for a reason that escapes me now). On the way out I decided to see if one of the guys I’d been talking to was going to be close to the town I work in (it’s a half hour drive from where I live.) He said he might be, but only in the afternoon, but I was planning to be done with work by then. However, the wife would be going to the ball park early that day for a pre-game event, and would be gone until well late in the afternoon. So, let’s think about this.

While I was messaging that guy, the dude from before texts me: “Hey, how are you doing?” Okay, this is a better start, so I reply back that I was heading out to work soon. He asked if I had a specific time that I needed to be there, and I said not really, but I wanted to get in and out as soon as I could. I was actually thinking of trying to arrange something for around noon, as I was just heading out the door.

Well, long story short(ish), he wanted me to come by right then. And in fact, he lived just a few minutes away, in a reasonably nice neighborhood, that was on my way to work. My first instinct was to say no, not right now, and try to arrange something for later. This would give me more time to come up with an excuse to back out. But after I thought about it a few minutes, I decided “fuck it” and agreed to meet him. I had his address, and three minutes later I was parked and walking up to his door feeling self-conscious as hell.

He met me at the door and invited me in, and led me to his living room. The place looked neat, didn’t have a funky smell, and seemed tastefully decorated (though I’m really no judge of that.) The first thing I noticed is that he didn’t look to be as close to my age as I thought; he was in good shape and looked to be in his 30s, which made me wonder why he’d want an old fart like me.

I tried to make some small talk, and crack some jokes (leading to my now-patented nervous chuckles), and he was polite enough but it was clear he wanted to move things along. That’s good, because if left up to me it’d be an hour later and nobody’s close would be any closer to being off than they were when I got there.

He got things started by reaching up and rubbing my nipples. That took me by surprise, as I’ve never considered there to be anything sexual about my (or any other guy’s) nipples, but he seemed to enjoy playing with them, so whatever. He was wearing gym shorts and I noticed he had a pretty good bulge going on in there, so I countered by cupping and caressing his crotch. He stiffened almost immediately.

Just as I went to put my hand down his shorts he leaned in to kiss me. That REALLY took me by surprise, and I kind of backed off, but not entirely. He kept coming in, so I was sort of moving to avoid it but also returning the kiss. Kissing guys isn’t really my thing, but with a little preparation (so, two or three months) I can do it and not feel weird. Well, no, I’m still going to feel weird, but… well, you know what I mean.

While I’m dodging full-on tonsil wrestling, he’s deftly opened my shorts and pulled my cock out. I suddenly realize I have to piss, and badly! I interrupt him, apologizing, but he’s cool with it and shows me to the bathroom. I was worried he was going to watch or something, but he walked away. I shut the door, took care of business, and washed my hands.

I rejoined him in the living room, and he went back to kissing. I was a little more prepared for this, so I didn’t dodge quite as much as earlier, but I didn’t give him a clear target either. We were both groping and rubbing each other’s dick, and just as I was about to kneel down, he beat me to it.

He went to his knees and licked my shaft, then took me in his mouth. I was actually kind of getting into it, and was past “half-chub” stage, though not to full erection. It was good, but I was still too much in my own head. He kept it up for a few minutes, then I gently disengaged, pulled him up, and said “My turn now.”

His dick was nicely shaped, maybe 5” (if I’m being generous) with a proportionate girth. In other words, not big, but comfortable enough. I licked his shaft before sucking on the tip for a bit, then took him all the way in. I tried to do the things I know I like, and he was responding well. I sucked and licked and worked him with my mouth as he “oohed” and “aahed”, and I was really turned on by the idea of what I was doing for him.

He pulled out of his mouth and took his cock in hand, lifting it up in the universal sign of “suck my balls, please.” I complied, licking and gently sucking them as he played with his dick. A minute or so later he put his dick back in my mouth and moved himself to match my rhythm. I could tell he was getting close, and I was eagerly waiting for the finish.

He started grunting and soon he was coming in my mouth! And this time I could taste and feel it entirely; he definitely had a good, thick load. I opened my mouth a bit and stuck out my tongue, thinking he might want to see his cum hitting my tongue. Apparently he did! I continued sucking and swallowing, licking him clean, as he moaned and grunted loudly. (He lives in a house, not an apartment, so I wasn’t worried about the noise.)

When he was completely drained I stood up and faced him. He had that post-cum, euphoric look, and I felt powerful, and accomplished! My dick was still sticking out of my shorts, and he reached down to fondle me. I told him I would have to leave for work now, and he said he felt bad that I didn’t get to cum, and he definitely wanted another chance. I asked how old he was, and he asked me how old I thought he was. I told him I would think late 30s, maybe early 40s, and he laughed and said he's 56 (two years older than me.) Holy shit!

I left and continued on the way to work, and excitedly called the only person I knew I could tell about this: Simply Sexy! She’s such a good friend, and let me relive the events and go over everything. I’m sure I sounded like a kid after a day at an amusement park!

I got my work done, got home, and when the wife left for the day’s game I pulled up some Reddit porn (though I also had the day’s prior event to go on as well), pulled down my shorts, and had a nice, slow wank that ended with a huge orgasm.

I mentioned T earlier for a reason, and I’ll get to that on the next update.

NAO Update 2

Here’s a quick update on my NAO, and a little longer update on the things going on in my life. Feel free to skip either, or both, if you must.

I can’t remember the last time I went two nights in a row without drinking (though it was probably only a few weeks ago.) I woke up feeling fine this morning, but I’m still in a grumpy mood. I’m sure that’s because of the ongoing issues I’m having with the devices at work. We should be fine tonight, but the weekend will be the real test.

My mother is in a memory care center at a nice retirement facility in our area. Her dementia has been a growing problem over the past 10 years or so, probably brought on to her reactions to anesthesia she was administered during various operations she’s had over that time. She went from being mildly forgetful to noticeably unsure of most things over the past eight years, but my stepfather was able to handle the issues and even hide them to an extent. I don’t think he was purposefully doing this, and certainly not out of any bad intent; he was in denial as to the extent of her growing problem and saw it as just normal age-related forgetfulness.

Two years ago, early summer, mom had hip replacement surgery and that led to a huge drop in her cognitive ability. It also led to an increase in the anger issues that she’s really had all of her life. Whatever filter had been working for her to maintain civility most of the time (with some notable exceptions) suddenly expired and worked for less often. Sometimes she’d be fine, but increasingly she was not. She would become irrationally angry and mean, lashing out at whomever was around causing her annoyance. I won’t go into details, but she went from making Christmas day (which she and my stepfather insisted the family spend at their house) uncomfortable to damn-near intolerable.

For the most part my stepfather was able to keep mom in check, but last year he fell and suffered a series of small strokes, which put him in the hospital and then in physical therapy. It quickly became apparent that mom couldn’t stay at home on her own, and I started looking into having her placed in care temporarily until my stepfather was healthy enough to come home. He resisted at first, but when she wandered off from the hospital one day for several hours when nobody could find her, he finally relented. (She was fine, but it became apparent that she could do the same thing at night from home, and anything could happen then.)

When my stepfather finally got healthy enough to come home, he discovered quickly that he wasn’t going to be (or get) healthy enough to resume taking care of mom. He couldn’t even drive himself anywhere, relying on my stepbrother to get him around most days. I helped when I could, but working full time in a new job made it difficult for me to be there much.

He visited mom almost daily until he got sick again. On top of the other issues, he’d been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease a year earlier, and during his stay at the hospital they discovered that he had stomach cancer that had spread extensively. Knowing he didn’t have much time left, he finally got motivated to get the legal documents done that would ensure that mom could be taken care of. He died three days before mom’s birthday (and a week after his own.)

There isn’t much that can be done for mom’s dementia, but they have tried to regulate her bi-polar issues with meds. Once they realized the extent of her issues, they were initially able to control her mood swings and anger issues, but lately it’s been getting harder and harder to do. Apparently one’s tolerance can grow towards these drugs and it becomes a delicate balancing act between keeping her in a good mood and making her into a zombie. Of course the alternative is that her moods aren’t controlled, and she lashes out at people (thankfully just the staff so far) or things (like recently kicking a refrigerator and hurting her foot.)

The wife and I go by most Saturdays to look in on her, unless we’re out of town, and stay for about 10 or 15 minutes. When she’s in a good mood we’ll stay a little longer, but lately she hasn’t really been in a good mood. She wants to go home, which of course she can’t. Not only could she not take care of herself to any degree, the house was sold after my stepfather died to help pay for her care. Fortunately money isn’t an issue at this point, although if she is around for another five years or so (which is very possible; her physical health is pretty good) she’ll eventually run out of estate funds. Then Medicaid (or Medicare, whichever is for retired people) will kick in, but that will mean moving her to an actual nursing home. At the rate she’s going, I doubt she’ll have enough cognitive function when that happens to be aware of the change.

My stepbrother is in charge of the estate and of making the medical decisions for mom, per my stepfather’s wishes, which is fine with my sister and me. He keeps us informed and gets our feedback on anything big, which is nice, but I have no desire to be the one in charge of that stuff. Neither does my sister and she’s in Kentucky anyway so it would be a lot harder for her.

I’ll update my NAO progress again soon, and if I have time I’ll catch up with some other things going on.

No Alcohol October (NAO) 1

Hello to those readers who are still around. I’ve decided to go no alcohol for the month of October (NAO), and I might try to update here how it’s going. I don’t know if I’ll update daily, but I will try to as I have time. Along with that, I’ll also update with some things that have been going on in my life for the past couple years.

The main reason I’m doing NAO is to get control back of my drinking. I’m not in any kind of trouble, and mostly things are fine, but I can see a path to drinking more and more until I don’t even try to stop. Also, the extra calories from the drinks aren’t good, nor is the increased snacking when I’ve got a good drunk going. Plus, on those increasingly rarer occasions where I haven’t had anything to drink the night before, I do wake up more refreshed and clearer of head, so I want to see how going more long term will feel.

This isn’t the first NAMonth I’ve done, but the last time I tried it a year or so ago, I bailed after about 10 days. Since then the wife and I will agree to not drink during the week, save it for the weekend, and usually by Wednesday (if not earlier) we’re back to drinking. The wife originally said she wasn’t going to join me, but would cut back during the week. Now she says she will do it with me, and I think that will make it easier.

So yesterday was the first day without drinking, and except for a mild bout of anxiety earlier in the evening, we made it through okay. I’ve felt that anxiety before on nights when there’s plenty of time to drink but for whatever reason I’ve decided not to, and it kind of bothers me. I took a longish walk after dinner, worked up a good sweat, so I felt pretty good about that. I need to get more exercise in, regardless of my level of drinking.

Today started fine; I woke up feeling clear headed and didn’t feel like I was dragging all day. Work was kind of stressful and frustrating (I’m with the same company as before, but I have a different job now) and there’s a small voice trying to convince me that maybe I need a drink tonight. Well, it’s only day two so I think I can resist it. Hopefully I’ll be as strong at day 10.

I want to go walking again tonight after dinner, but we’ll see. The wife had a last-minute thing to take care of, and we don’t know how long it will take. I’d go walking now, but I’d feel compelled to cut it short in case she got home sooner. Well, we’ll see how that goes either way. At least with her being gone right now I have time to write this update.

Anyway, yea, I started a new job in March/April last year. I was the office administrator, and that job was fine, but I felt more and more that I wasn’t really involved, if that makes sense. My job was important, but I didn’t have a direct hand in what my company does. So when a job in the manufacturing department came up, I asked for a chance to see if I can do it. Fortunately my boss at the time was willing to let me try, despite not having any direct experience in what I’d be working on (fiber optics, in short.)

I started working with the main guy in the fiber lab in January of 2018, and though he can be a dick at times (and I think he resented that I was coming in with essentially zero experience) after a few months I did show that I could learn the work and do it well enough for an entry level position. I got the job, and it came with a substantial raise.

I enjoy the work for the most part, but there are a lot of elements of the devices I build that are still a mystery even to the engineers who develop it. They’re easy enough to build, but when they don’t pass their Factory Acceptance Test it can lead to a lengthy trouble-shooting process that gets tedious and frustrating. Today I worked on a system I’ve been trying to get out the door since before the summer, and though I’ve made substantial changes and replacements in the system, I’m still more or less where I started. The engineer who has been working with me (he’s in Houston, so that distance makes it even harder) is apparently stumped, but I’m getting daily reminders from the shipping manager that the system has been due for some time now and we have to get it ready.

Anyway, that’s enough for now. I’ll try to update again in the next day or two with the NAO progress and with other things going on.