I changed this from being my first post to being a separate page.
I'm not sure exactly what I want to tell about myself here and what I want you, the reader, to discover through my ongoing posts. This section and the information in it may change over time. This is what I've settled on for now, just to get started:
I'm a White, heterosexual (mostly) man and I've been married for 20+ years. I'm 47, soon to be 48, as of this writing (early 2013, so if it's later than that you can do the math.)
Although some of my posts (and maybe quite a few of them early on) will be about sex and my sexuality, I'm not willing to classify this as a sex blog for now. I imagine there will be a lot of things I'll write about, including my up-and-down feelings concerning my marriage and my life in general.
I'm "CuriousRob" because I'm bi-curious. Other than some pre-adolescent experimentation, and one pointless, drunken fumble with an older friend when I was 17 (I'll write about that sometime), I've not been with a man. I'm not attracted to men, I don't fantasize about men per se, but I do desire sucking off someone to completion. I don't have any one in particular in mind, and when I fantasize about doing it there's no face or body type I think about; just a non-descript torso with a penis attached.
In the past year I've made some effort to make this fantasy a reality, but my situation makes it difficult to fulfill. Some of my writings will be about what I've tried so far, some of the near misses, one really promising possibility that might be dead but could come back, etc.
I love my wife, but deep down I really don't want to be married. Asking her for a divorce is out because that would make me the bad guy, and I don't know how she would handle the rejection. If I could be sure that she would accept the situation and move on and find someone better suited for her, I would maybe go through with it. Ideally, I wish she would meet some guy (or girl?), fall in love, and decide to leave me. I honestly just want her to be happy, and have resigned myself to hiding my own unhappiness, for as long as I can, for her sake.
In the unlikely event that I ever do get divorced, I would definitely not get married again. I've learned enough about myself over the past 20 years to know that my dissatisfaction with being married is not my wife's fault, it's mine. There are plenty of things that aggravate me about my wife, some big some small, just as I'm sure I aggravate her in many ways. But if tomorrow I magically woke up and every one of my complaints about her were fixed to my satisfaction, I still wouldn't want to be married to her, or anybody else. I'll write more about that aspect of my personality as well, as I go on.