Thursday, March 21, 2013

Dammit, Janet!

I was a virgin until I was 19, despite my lame efforts (I don't count the one encounter I had with a guy when I was 17 because it was just oral, and there was no completion for either of us.) The first cock-penetrating-pussy action I had was... less than ideal. You'd think by that time my standards would have been pretty low, and believe me they were, but even I had my limits. 

I went to a dorm party with my two cousins (brothers who were also my best friends) that the older cousin's girlfriend was having with a bunch of her fellow nursing students. One of the girls there had asked for volunteers for a survey she was doing on the effects of drinking, and since she was pretty and I figured it was the only way I'd get her to talk to me, I said I'd help. Before my first beer (I didn't tell her about the three I'd had before getting there) she gave me a baseline test of motor functions, as well as my ability to say the alphabet backwards, count down from 100 by 3s or 7s or whatever, etc. Then after each beer, she'd conduct one of the tests to see how I performed verses when I was "sober". 

I was a pretty heavy drinker in college, and could handle myself well even after quite a bit of beer. Yes I was fat, but not grotesquely so; I'd just built a pretty high tolerance for alcohol. This is important because as the night went on, and I finished beer after beer, my test results got better. Okay, I'll confess that I planned this in an attempt to impress the girl by sand-bagging on the initial test, then doing a little better after each beer. Isn't it crazy what college guys think will impress college girls? Except that this girl seemingly was impressed, and she spent quite a bit of the next two hours talking to me when she wasn't testing anyone else. 

She was from out of town and went to a different college, wasn't dating anyone seriously, and was happy to have found someone interesting to talk to (she meant me!) She hadn't wanted to come to the party at all, but figured it would be a good way to get an assignment out of the way. She was smiling when she looked at me and said "Now I'm kind of glad I came." 

But there was another girl there at the party who apparently took a shine to me. I don't really know if she was all that into me, or if she had something against the other girl and wanted to Beaver Dam her (the female equivalent to cock-blocking, apparently.) But she was aggressive, rude, and would not take no for an answer. Plus, she was HUGE! 

Now don't get me wrong, I like my women curvaceous. I've always said if I wanted to date a girl with the body of a 12 year-old boy, I'd have become a Catholic priest. But this girl was 400 lbs if she was a day, and I'm not exaggerating.

At first I was able to verbally spar with her, good-naturedly letting her know I wasn't interested at all without being cruel about it. Then I'd attempt to talk to the other girl again. But  no matter where the other girl... Janet! That was her name! No matter where Janet and I moved, Bertha (for lack of a better name to use) would follow us and bull her way between us. She used her bulk and weight to push Janet aside, often cornering me in the process. If I attempted to get around her, she'd move in the way and at one point was actually leaning on me until I forcefully told her I had to take a piss. She followed me to the bathroom, and when I came out she cornered me again. 

I pretty much gave up on doing anymore of Janet's tests or even trying to talk to her. Looking back, I wish I'd been more forceful with Bertha about leaving me and her alone, but I wasn't really sure if Janet was at all interested in me or not. Maybe she was just being nice while waiting for someone better looking or cooler to come along (it wouldn't have taken much.) At one point I did catch her eye and she gave me a pitying, wistful smile that, really, could have meant anything. 

And let's face it, I was a horny, 19 year-old virgin with low self-esteem; I was a sucker for any kind of validation. It didn't matter that it came from someone as disgusting as Bertha (and I am referring more to her attitude than her looks, though her looks didn't help her cause any), I ate it up. By this time I was drunk enough to not give a fuck anymore, and before I knew it I found myself following her to her dorm room. 

I don't remember our taking our clothes off, but I do remember her being the first woman I'd ever seen completely nekkid. Despite her having more rolls than a Country Cookin' buffet, I had pretty decent wood going. We kissed a bit, then I went down on her (big mistake; I didn't notice her putting in some contraceptive gel and that made my lips numb) and then I was fucking her. And fucking her. And fucking her. God, it felt like I was fucking her for two hours because of the drunken haze I was in, but it was probably more like 20 minutes. Still, pretty studly for a virgin, right? 

I finally gave up. I couldn't get any good leverage or traction being on top because her belly was too big for me to lay across her. We were on the bottom bed of a bunk set, so I couldn't kneel and fuck her either from in front or doggy style, and there was no way I was going to let her get on top. Honestly, laying on our sides with me behind her didn't occur to me at the time, but I really don't think I could have cum anyway. My cock was hard, but mentally I just wasn't into it. Her pussy was like fucking a wet plug of tobacco, and I was really worried about my numb lips. I did ask her to give me head, but her idea of a blowjob was to squeeze the hell out of my dick while half-heartedly licking the tip. Ouch! 

I got dressed and went back up to the party just as it was breaking up. I didn't see Janet anywhere, but I wouldn't have been able to face her at that point anyway. I could barely face my two cousins; everybody saw me leaving with Bertha and knew what we'd been up to. I would have left quietly with my tail between my legs if I hadn't needed a ride home from them. They tried to fuck with me about it, but I let them know up front that it was bad timing and could be dangerous for them. We rode home in silence except for the occasional snickers from them. 

I let them have their fun the next day, though, and took my lumps like a man. The younger brother (just a few months older than me) did finally say "Well, you got your dick wet, and that's all that matters" and gave me a high five, which I returned half-heartedly. Wahoo. He also told me that when Bertha and I left the party, one of the guys said "I hope he knows she doesn't care about him." Being my best friend, he did stand up for me and say there wasn't a chance in hell I wanted anything more than a piece of ass from her. 

The older brother really broke my heart though. Once he was done teasing me, I asked him if Janet had left with anyone. He said she didn't, and told me (and swore even years afterwards that he was telling the truth) that his girlfriend told him Janet was pissed about the whole thing because she kind of liked me, and probably would have had sex with me.

2 comments:

  1. The first time is never all that good anyway. But losing the chance at Janet, that really sucks!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yea, but if I couldn't have a fond memory of my first time, at least I have a funny story. :-)

    ReplyDelete