Friday, August 25, 2017

Welcome from Strictly Anonymouse Podcast! READ HERE FIRST

If you're a newcomer here, I'm going to go out on a limb and assume it's because of the Strictly Anonymous podcast from this weekend, either directly or in-. If that is not the case, you're still welcome and I hope you'll read this introduction before you start your explorations. Also, listen to my interview here.

Firstly, you'll notice I haven't posted much at all over the past couple years. Most of the posts are either recountings of my past interactions with my half-sister (who I call L throughout the posts) or me complaining/whining about my relationship with her. Things haven't really changed any since 2014, and I figured everybody was getting as bored reading the same thing over and over as I was writing it.

I've gone over in my head the interview with Kathy and realized that there are a number of things that may seem inconsistent from what I said versus what you'll read if you have the stamina to go through everything; I assure you the discrepancies are not intentional. Kathy is a great interviewer, but I often either forgot things, or rushed through one point to get to another and didn't adequately explain everything.

One glaring example that Kathy called me one was when I said I don't have any interest in getting blown by a guy (though I love getting head from a gal), then later said I came with the first guy I met up with while he was blowing me. I should clarify that it's not that I absolutely can't stand getting a blowjob from a guy, I just don't fantasize about that like I do about doing the blowing.

Also, we were in the same boat, in that we both had never gotten to suck another dick (outside the experience I had with the older guy when I was 17 or 18, but that didn't amount to much), and he'd traveled just as far as I had (about two hours each) to meet up somewhere between our two cities. (Yea, that's how desperate we were.) I didn't want to be selfish and insist everything be all about me, so as much as I could I tried to accommodate his needs like he was trying to accommodate mine. Including kissing, which really wasn't my thing, but he wanted to experience it. I didn't find kissing another guy as gross as I feared I would, and would do it again if the other guy wanted to, but it's not a big deal for me.

Anyway, though his sucking my cock wasn't really doing it for me (which may have been because I truly don't get anything out of it, or I was just too nervous to truly enjoy it), I knew he wanted me to come in his mouth as much as I wanted him to come in mine. So, while he was blowing me, I concentrated on the sensations and basically worked myself up into coming. He wasn't able to come for me, but after a while it was just time to go. I was a little disappointed, but also pretty stoked about having done as much as we did.

I can't possibly remember every inconsistency right now, and I don't have the time to try to explain them right now even if I could. It's safest to assume that what I wrote, when it was fresh(er) in my mind and I had time to write and revise as needed, is the more accurate of whatever differing accounts you may notice. If you aren't sure, post a comment with your question or concern and I'll attempt to clarify (if I can.)

If you're only here for the L stuff, a good bit of the posts are titled "What the L" in various parts. However, there is a significant number of postings that recount the (then) current situation with her that don't have that in the title. I considered trying to organize everything for easier availability, but it's just too big a job. Plus, a lot of my posts aren't just about her, but she features in them.

Any of the posts with Flash Fiction Friday (or just FFF) in the title are short stories based on a prompt from the moderator of FFF, and are not going to be anything but fiction. Some are better than others, but I won't be offended if you don't want to take the time to read them. If you do read them, I welcome your honest feedback.

Finally (unless I think of something else to add here), I welcome any comments and/or critiques either from my writings or my interview. I feel like my voice is ridiculously goofy, and I'd love to know if you agree or not. You can even tell me what you think of my cock (it's the one in the profile picture on the home page.) But if you get a moral boner from telling me what a terrible person I am for cheating on my wife and/or fucking my sister, don't bother. I'm happy to have a mature discussion about the issues, but I don't have the time or interest in being preached to.

So please, enjoy the posts and feel free to ask anything you like; I'll answer as honestly as I safely and securely can. Also, read some of the other blogs that are in my blog roll, especially James (Break Out) and Simply Sexy!


Thursday, September 22, 2016

Two Guys, a Girl, and a Football Game

I’m struggling to write what I want to write about this weekend because I’m writing this knowing that Simplicity and (probably) ZRob will be reading this before I post it. I could avoid any potential awkwardness by simply writing about the sex and how hot it was (oh, sorry, SPOILER ALERT: SEX WAS HAD) and that would be true, but it wouldn’t be the full truth. If I can’t write about the full truth, then I lose the biggest advantage writing gives me; the ability to work through things and try to make sense of my feelings about them.

So before I go any further, let me state for the record, especially to Simplicity and ZRob, that though the experience is shadowed somewhat by what I consider my own shortcomings and inadequacies, I did thoroughly enjoy our time together from beginning to end, and cannot think of any two people with whom I would rather have had this experience. Neither of you are responsible even a little bit for those shadows.

Another reason I can’t ignore everything else and only write about the sexual part is that, in my mind, everything had to do with the sexual part. It was the elephant in the room (or in the car) for the entire drive up Saturday whether we acknowledged it or not (and we did not.) When we laughed about Simplicity leaving her cell phone at Burger King, specifically in the Burger King trash bin (which she fortunately realized had happened before we’d left the area); when we laughed about how the address that my GPS followed flawlessly, taking us about 45 minutes out of the way to what the address should have been; when we made small talk all through dinner and in the hotel room later; everything, in my mind, was about the sexual part.

We’d gotten together back in July to talk about the trip to see the Dallas Cowboys play the Washington Redskins at FedEx Field, but though I was able to speak a little bit to both Simplicity and Z separately about what might happen on the trip, I could never get a handle on getting all three of us to talk about it. The theme “play it by ear” came up a number of times, and it felt like it would jinx the whole thing if I pushed too hard to get us to openly talk about it.

I knew Simplicity was conflicted: on the one hand, a MMF threesome was a fantasy for her, and she was really excited about the possibility. On the other hand, she wasn’t sure that she would be able to handle the reality of it when the chips were down. 

I also knew that Z was conflicted; he really wanted this to happen, but felt like it wasn’t his place to initiate anything. He realized that he was along for the ride (at least in terms of the sex) and would go along with whatever happened, but clearly it would have felt like a missed opportunity if nothing did.

For my part, of course I was conflicted. That really shouldn’t be a surprise to any of you who’ve read, say, even 10% of my posts here; I’m always conflicted! In this case, I’d taken the responsibility for everyone else’s comfort and satisfaction upon myself (and again, I must stress that this is completely my fault; nobody asked me to do this, so I’m the only one to blame) and couldn’t get completely comfortable myself because of this. However, I was so concerned about seeming too pushy that I avoided starting the conversation that could get everything out in the open so that we all actually could be more comfortable and satisfied.

Left up to me, this weekend would have been not exactly a disaster, because it still would have been a weekend spent with two people I like a lot, but it would have been less satisfying. Fortunately, Simplicity is the hero of this tale. She recognized that Z and I, right or wrong, for whatever reason, weren’t going to make the first move. So with a little liquid courage, she took matters into her (ahem) own hands.

When Z went into the bathroom, Simplicity came to the bed I was sitting on and gave me a passionate kiss. She knows that sometimes I need just a small push to get me out of my own head, and it worked this time to perfection. I had one hand under her shirt pinching her nipples and the other hand up the leg of her short-shorts, rubbing her ass, when Z came back into the room.

Z’s smart enough to know when to shut up and enjoy the show (we’re similar in a lot of ways; this isn’t one of them), so he sat down on his bed and did just that. I stage whispered to Simplicity “I think he’s watching us” and she laughed and said “I hope so!” I tugged at her shirt a bit, and she took the hint and pulled it off, exposing her awesome tits to the both of us. Of course, I’ve seen them before, but it’s always a rush to see them again, and especially under these circumstances.
I asked her if Z could touch, and before she could finish saying “yes, of course” he was up and pulling on the nipple that I wasn’t already sucking. I had gotten my hand under her panties and was fingering her pussy, which was already soaking.

Simplicity pushed me back on the bed and lay down beside me, on her back, giving Z and I the space to really go to work on her. He and I alternated between kissing her and sucking on whichever nipple we could get to, while I continued to play with her under her shorts. After few minutes, I started working on pulling her shorts and panties off, and once that was accomplished I started to lick and nibble on her clit.

My favorite thing about sex with Simplicity is how responsive she is. You don’t have to ask if she likes something, because she is very vocal about what she likes and what’s working for her. This was working for her! I know this not only from the way she was squirming and moaning, but also from when she gasped “God, I love the attention!”

At this point I realized that Z and I were still dressed, so I said “There is entirely too much clothing going on!” and pulled my shirt off. Z was even quicker than I was, and by the time I was stepping out of my shorts, he was naked and back to kissing Simplicity and playing with her tits while she stroked his cock. I got between her legs, lifted them up, and entered her tight pussy with a hard thrust that got her moaning again. As I thrust in and out, the two of them were trying to work out how she could suck him, but the positioning was wrong and it wasn’t going to happen.

She rolled over so I could take her from behind, while Z sat so that her head was in his lap. Seeing her suck his cock while I was fucking her is probably the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced, and it’s only because I’d gotten the right balance of alcohol (not too much to keep from getting hard, but enough to keep from coming immediately) that I was able to continue! I know it’s a total Frat-bro move, but Z and I high-fived at this point (sorry, Simplicity!)

I asked Z if he wanted to switch, and though he was loving the blow job, he quickly agreed. Watching as he fuck Simplicity while she sucked my cock was also right up there on the hottest things I’ve experienced! After a few minutes, we switched again. Soon, though, Simplicity was overwhelmed and exhausted, and needed to pee! So we took a break while everyone caught their breath.

The alcohol and late hour were catching up to me, though. I lay down in one bed while Z lay down in the other, and soon Simplicity joined me. We cuddled for a while, then Z got up to (I think) take a shower. I was near falling asleep and thought Simplicity was as well. When she asked if I was ready for round two, I woke up quickly enough!

I rolled over on top of her and entered her smoothly. I had her legs on my shoulders as I fucked her, first slow, then fast and rough, then slow again. At some point (I was losing track of time) Z came back out and sat on his bed, watching us. I glanced over and saw him playing with himself, and he smiled and said “It’s a great show!” I laughed and turned my attention back to Simplicity.

We fucked for several more minutes, until she asked me breathlessly to stop. I lay down, proud of a job well done, and Z thanked us for the show, and again said it was great. Simplicity and I cuddled together and I drifted off to sleep.
**********

The next morning, we all woke up tired, hungry, and a little (or a lot) hung over. We showered (separately), got some food, and then headed out to go to the game. We walked among the tailgaters for an hour or so, drinking the beer we’d brought with us and talking with the various fans from both teams. Z and I are Cowboys fans, while Simplicity is (and apparently isn’t ashamed to admit it) a Redskins fan. We good-naturedly teased each other and everyone else about their teams and prospects of winning that day. A good time was had by all.

We had several beers during the game, but then I needed to switch to non-alcohol. I wasn’t sick, or even feeling particularly bad, but I wasn’t feeling 100% either. The sun was a little too bright, the air was a little too warm (except when the lovely breeze would blow through, making everything right for a brief time), and the crowd was a little too loud. After the game (the Cowboys won!) we made our way back to the train station to head back to the hotel. Trains are a good, inexpensive way to travel through an area like this, but they aren’t much good for making weary bones feel better.

After we got back to the room we rested a bit before heading out to get some dinner. Food made me feel much better, and I had a beer with a cigar when we got back to our room again. We watched more football, and then after I had a shower I slowly wound down. I think we were all kind of wondering if we should try for a repeat of the night before, but nobody had the energy to get started. We didn’t even have the energy to drink much.
**********

Monday morning we got up and packed everything away, then headed out for breakfast. We came back to the room, loaded up my Pathfinder, then waited around a while to let traffic diminish some before heading out. (That turned out to be a good idea, based on the traffic reports we saw early that morning.)

We checked out and hit the road around 10, and after a fairly uneventful 4 hours (give or take), we were back to our neck of the woods. We said our goodbyes and I headed on home to start a load of wash and relax, and get wound down from the trip. When the wife got home, we went out for a bit of dinner, then came home and had a few drinks before going early to bed.

ZRob's Brief Take On the Weekend

I think we all had some "issues" going in. It was like we were teenagers on our first date that could be THE first time. We were all nervous, but once the fun started, we got into it and I, for one, had a great time.

Rob, you are right. Even though it was never stated, since you knew both of us before, you were in the lead position, if you will. To be honest, I stayed out of the second round because simplicity was enjoying it so much, that I didn't want to break her concentration. And, it was a good show :).

I do wish I had thought about the tag teaming that Simplicity talked about in her post, but I think the vodka got in the way. Of course, the vodka was the only reason that I didn't cum from the head I was getting.

There are a number of things I would probably do differently if the opportunity came up again. And if it does, one thing I will not miss out on again will be tasting Simplicity, even if I have to push Rob out of the way. That is my only regret from the weekend.

Friday, September 2, 2016

Maybe Tonight

The wife and I successfully completed August without Alcohol, and except for a few moments here and there, it really wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I technically could have drank last night, but decided I’d rather wait for the weekend. In other words, tonight! (But I still plan to keep it reasonable.)

On my way in to work this morning, I won a pair of tickets to a Billy Ocean show. Yes, he’s still alive (or at least I hope he is; otherwise that’s going to be a gruesome show) and you probably know more of his songs than you think you do. I certainly did, and I like him and his music quite a bit. And if you Google him, look at his pictures from the 80s; Chris Rock could be his younger twin!

That said, I don’t know if we’ll go or not. The venue will likely be crowded, and I’ve seen the seating chart and I’m not sure it’s going to be a great view. Those seats are so tiny and uncomfortable, and we’d be sitting such that we’ll have to turn to face the stage.

But maybe we will go. I know it’s just my social anxiety coming up with these excuses, and I’d probably have an okay time if I just got out of my head. A lot will depend on the wife, and her schedule in regards to baseball (of course.) Our local team is in the playoffs, and could potentially have a home game next Friday. If that’s the case, she will certainly want to go to that instead of the show. And that actually makes me a little more likely to go, especially if I could get someone (L) to go with me. A show like that would be for me infinitely more fun with L, or really just about anyone, than it would be with the wife.

One person did indicate that they would like to read the short stories I wrote for the Reddit group nosleep, so I will work on getting them formatted properly and posting them here. They are not sexual stories at all, but as the subreddit name implies, they are a little on the eerie side. I have some other ideas for stories as well, ones that don’t really fit for nosleep, which I may write and post here.

 Or, you know, me being me, I might wind up convincing myself that my stories are shit and nobody wants to read them and why bother.

 Goddammit, I’m doing it again! I better end this post and get it up before I say “fuck it” and delete it.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Summer Update

At the start of the year, in an effort to kick-start my forever failing weight loss, I decided to go the month of January without any alcohol. And I made it, too.

For two weeks.

In my defense, those two weeks included two full weekends that I didn’t drink, even though I was making the wife drinks almost every night. (She doesn’t have more than one drink a night during the week, if any, and maybe two or three over the weekend.) So I felt like it was a sort of a victory, even though I didn’t wind up making it the full month.

Of course it didn’t do anything for my weight, either, since I didn’t change my eating habits enough to make any difference. I think it was that realization that led to me saying “fuck it” and having the first drink (then the second, then the third) that night; why was I bothering if it wasn’t magically making me skinny? I can be fat and deal with all the shit my brain throws at me all day long, or I can be fat and drown those noises out for a while. Easy choice, no?

I wrote a few months ago about how the wife and I started eating keto (low carb, high fat), and how it was helping with my weight loss. As of this morning, since May 2 of this year, I’ve lost 41 pounds and probably 6 inches off of my waist. I say “probably” because I didn’t have the heart to measure it when I first started, but I can see the pictures. I do know that I went from wearing size 44 pants that were too snug to now wearing some size 40s that are too loose, and one size 38 that fits about right.
I buy everything at Goodwill now because I don’t want to spend a lot of money on clothes that I intend to be too big for me in the near future, so sometimes my options are limited. On the other hand, sometimes I find some really nice clothes that seems almost a shame to have to “retire” as I continue to lose weight. Currently the plan is to get down another 25 pounds, which should put me firmly in the 36 size, maybe 34 depending on 1) the cut of the clothes and 2) my motivation to exercise (which has been much higher than in the past, though I’m still lazy and don’t do it nearly as consistently as I should.)

Before:


After:

Along with this new-found healthy eating lifestyle, near the end of July I told the wife of my intention to go the month of August without drinking. I can’t say for sure exactly why I chose to do it again; partly I wanted to see if it would help with my weight loss efforts (it has, at least a little), and partly I just wanted to see if I still have any will-power left (I do, at least for some things.) But the biggest reason I decided to do it was because of how apprehensive I felt just considering going a month without drinking. The hollow feeling of loss that washed over me when I thought of evenings and weekends without drinking convinced me that I probably need to do this.

The first weekend was okay despite the wife going to baseball games each night; I just distracted myself with other things, and made it through okay. I made it through the following week alright as well, though Thursday (the 11th) I had a really strong desire to have a drink. I would have, too, except my wife (not at a game that night) talked me down from it. Besides that really bad night, the rest of the time hasn’t been too bad.

I’ve gone 22 days now without alcohol, and more importantly I now know that I can make it the next 9 days. It will actually be 10 days because I intend my first drink to be on a Friday night, because I have a feeling I will get pretty buzzed. Yes, I will be drinking again once the month is over, but I plan to do better about showing some restraint, especially during the week.

Football season is starting soon, and in three and a half weeks my beloved Cowboys will be playing the hated Redskins (mwaw to Simplicity) at FedEx Field. My buddy Z (remember him?) and I will be going for the third year in a row, and this year we will have a special guest with us that could lead to some interesting shenanigans (and even if shenanigans aren’t in the cards, it will still be a good time.) Everything is going to be played by ear, so I won’t do much more than a tease here and there about it for now. But rest assured, I will write about that weekend one way or another!

Quick poll: I’ve written a few stories for the /nosleep subreddit that have gotten fairly decent comments and upvotes. Would any of you readers be interested in reading those stories here?

Friday, June 17, 2016

Another update

Wait, am I actually going to post two updates this year?! Well, I’m typing this now, but that’s never a guarantee; we’ll see what happens!

Things have been pretty much the same as the last time I left it; L and I continue to have a kind-of relationship (like a lot of siblings do), texting occasionally but just about little stuff. I don’t think we could be considered in any way “close”, but it doesn’t bother me like it used to. Yea, I miss it, but I know I can live without it too.

Some things that have happened, in loosely chronological order:

Sometime early in March (I could look up the exact date, but I don’t think it matters that much, in the long run) I finally got through all the hurdles and started using a CPAP machine to help with my sleep apnea. How is it working for me?

If you’re one of those weird people who doesn’t stop breathing multiple times in the middle of the night, and snoring and gasping loudly when you do breath; if you’re one of those oddballs who can actually sleep instead of having to wake up every time your body decides it really, really wants to get some air in it, then I envy you. That is literally something that I’ve not had in 20 years. Yes, being overweight contributes to it, but it’s a problem regardless of my weight and/or fitness level. It’s just that the past two years or so, when my weight has been really high, it’s gotten so much worse.

So again, how is the CPAP working for me? Hoe. Lee. SHIT! Is this what the rest of you do at night, breath while sleeping?! No wonder some of you are so chipper in the mornings, and don’t complain of headaches all the time!

Is my sleep perfect now? No, not really; I still struggle to get to sleep at a reasonable enough hour to get enough sleep. But right now, the sleep I do get is head and shoulders above what it used to be! The wife doesn’t have to kick me out of bed because my snoring was keeping her up! I can fall asleep before her if I want to!

My insurance company requires that my doctor send in the info that is gathered from the machine during the first 60 days to make sure I’m using it. Apparently a lot of people have gotten a CPAP and then don’t use it for reasons. I just don’t get that! I couldn’t imagine trying to sleep without mine under any circumstances!

On the last Friday of April, after another disappointing week of not having lost any weight despite “trying” to eat less, I stumbled across /r/keto/ on reddit. I had no idea what it was, but as I read more of the post and the FAQ that goes along with the subreddit, I found out that it means ketogenic diet. It’s low carb-high fat, similar to Atkins, and the more I read about it the more interested I became.

That night I told the wife about it, and over the weekend we expunged our house of the sugary, starchy, carb-loaded foods we had in the house. Some items were already opened, so we threw those out altogether. A lot of it was canned or boxed unperishables, which we bundled up and donated to a local food bank. Things that kind of fell in between the wife took to work and gave to some of her coworkers.

Most of my early guidance I took from the FAQs on the subreddit I mentioned above, and from the blog I Breath, I’m Hungry (www.ibreathimhungry.com), including the shopping list of items I’d need to purchase to get us started on the weekly meal plan. I’ve since moved away from that pre-determined meal plan idea to where I now plan the meals myself, based on the foods I know we like, and I’ve simplified the menus during the week. Instead of making somewhat elaborate recipes for each night and lunch, during the week we’re often having simple meat plus veggie meals, and on the weekends I’ll stretch my wings a bit to try some of the other things.

The long and short of it is, as of last Monday, six weeks after starting, I’ve lost 26 lbs and the wife has lost 16 lbs! I no longer take Prilosec once or twice a day for acid reflux, and I haven’t even had to take a Tums before bed in more than a month now. I still have a long way to go to reach my goal, but meanwhile we’re going to make a trip to Goodwill so I can find some smaller pants!

I’m not going to go on and on about it, but I will say this: if you are interested in it, look at the link above, and check out www.reddit.com/r/keto for more information. And if you want to ask me anything else about it, send me an email and I’ll be happy to discuss it with you, and give any pointers I’ve picked up along the way.

The wife had surgery to replace the joint in her right-hand ring finger on May 18. On top of all the meal planning and cooking I was doing, I also had to help her with pretty much everything for two weeks. It was a pretty stressful time, but we got through it, and as she continues to heal and get use of her hand back, she’s doing almost everything for herself now. Next year or the year after she’ll probably have to get the same thing done on her left hand, which I dread! (She has non-rheumatoid arthritis, which affects all of her fingers to some degree, but especially the ring fingers on both hands.)

She’s made really good progress on her physical therapy since the surgery, and has almost gotten to full mobility in her finger. She still can’t put a lot of pressure on it, but she can do more and more with it every day. She’s off work (on disability) until at least the end of June, and probably until the middle of July, but her doctor and therapist both say she’s right on track for full recovery.

There’s nothing new sexually to recount, or at least not yet (wink, wink.) Whether or not anything something happens remains to be seen, and even if it does I may not be able to write about it; it will depend on the person(s) involved. (How’s that for a tease?)

Anyway, not that I intend to make regular updates or anything, but I will probably write more down the road. We’re making another trip to Kentucky for the 4th of July weekend, and I have a physical scheduled the week after that I’m actually looking forward to. I’m especially interested in seeing how my blood work numbers will turn out!

Friday, April 1, 2016

Good Memories! (Oh, and Hey!)

Cande at "Diary of an Online Stripper" has a post up, titled Moregasms; as usual, it's very hot. She and her lover are fucking, and she's had several orgasms already, when he tells her about the time he fucked her as she was sleeping. That reminded me of the following:

Back in the mid 90s, and I think it was after the wife caught me cheating, the wife was working a lot of overtime hours. They were on mandatory 9 hours a day and could volunteer for 10, which she did, plus she would work 4 to 6 hours on the weekend when they let her. Unfortunately, that meant she was almost always too exhausted for sex, but I didn't complain too much; I was working steady at the time too, and for the first time in our lives we had real, disposable income without many debts, and was actually saving money. (That's since gone all to hell, but that's a different story.)

She'd usually leave significantly earlier than me in the mornings, which gave me plenty of time to browse the Bulletin Board Services (BBS; anybody remember those?) for whatever porn was availalbe. Modems back then were slow compared to today, so I was limited to images smaller than 50K or so; forget about GIFs or video clips! On a few occassions I'd sneakily rub another one out at night after the wife fell asleep, if I could get out of bed and into the computer room without waking her. She knew I was jacking it and for the most part was okay with it, but I tried not to make it too obvious because she felt bad about not doing (what she considered to be) her duty.

[Aside - I miss those days in my 30s when I could stroke myself to orgasm every morning, sometimes twice in the same day if I had time, and still be able to fuck the wife that night if she was up for it. These days, if I suspect the wife wants to have sex, I have to abstain from jacking off for a day or two in order to be ready. Frankly, I'd rather just jack off; it's quicker, less frustrating, and I don't have to worry about staying hard the whole time. I don't know if that's a commentary on growning older, or on just how it is in some marriages after 25+ years. - End aside]

One night I was horny as hell, with a hardon that would not go down. I thought about getting on the computer to take care of it, but it was late and I had to work the next day and I thought I should just go on to sleep. I would have just pounded it out right there, but I didn't have a cum towell on my side of the bed and didn't want to make a mess. Figuring it would go down eventually, I turned on my side and snuggled up big-spoon-style against the wife. Since we both sleep nude, this left me with my still hard cock nestled right up between the wife's butt cheeks which was not going to be an optimum way to make my hardon go away. I turned over to the other side and tried to sleep.

But dammit, I couldn't get comfortable on that side (my shoulder was aching) and, let's face it, my hardon was distracting the hell out of me! I rolled back over and snuggled up to the wife again, and tried to find some spot for my dick that wasn't right up next to where it wanted to be. Because I was so hard, though, I simply could not bend it in any way that was comfortable, so back between her but cheeks I went.

Now in that position, with me lying up higher than her, my dick was still being pressed down uncomfortably between us. I found that if I scootched down a bit, it would stick more upward position and still be between her thighs, right at the triangle area. Of course this also felt much better, and wasn't helping the situation any with how horny I was. I was starting to get tired myself, though, so I figured I'd drop right off, and sure enough I did...

for about 20 minutes. I woke up, still hard, and now my pre-cum was making things feel really interesting! My cock tends to drool quite a bit, and I discovered I was able to glide pretty well between the wife's thighs, with the top of my dick head rubbing across her mons. I probably could have even got off that way, but now I was getting ideas (and, yes, a little bit greedy.) I pulled back far enough to get my fingers down there, and oh so gently spreak my pre-cum around to her opening. When I felt that things were ready enough, I slowly got the head of my cock back in position and started to push forward. The pre-cum still on my cock, mixed with what I'd spread around her pussy, was really working well, and I knew I'd be in soon!

But it wasn't to be; still sleeping, she turned towards me, almost lying on her back (and also flinging her arm over and whacking me in the face!) I tried nudging her to roll her back over, but she was having none of that and stayed that way long enough that I eventually fell back to sleep. I vowed then that I would always have a cum towel on my side of the bed!

The next morning, I sheepishly told the wife about what had happened while we had our coffee. She laughed about it, and apologized for being too tired and said maybe I'd get lucky that night. I assured her that it wasn't her fault, and I apologized for having almost (in my mind) violated her without her consent. She laughed and said "I don't care, as long as you don't wake me up."

That night the wife fell asleep again before I could even start making any moves, but this time I was prepared; I had a cum towel. I thought about trying to fuck her while she slept, but I was tired too (not having gotten much sleep the night before) so I just rubbed one out and used the towel to clean up. The next morning she asked if I'd done anything, and I told her I "handled it" (giggity) myself. She actually seemed a little disappointed and again told me that she didn't care if I fucked her while she slept.

That night as we lay in bed I thought we were going to have sex. We were kissing while she stroked me and I played with her nipples, and I had another raging boner rarin' to go! But she was dozing off and pretty soon told me goodnight, rolled over, and within ten minutes was snoring. I watched TV for about 20 minutes, stroking my dick just enough to keep it hard. Tonight I was definitely going to fuck the wife while she slept, and I'd even got permission! Of course I had to be careful not to wake her, as that wouldn't be fair to her and, honestly, would kind of take the edge off of it.

When I determined she was in a pretty deep sleep, I turned to her and, like the first night, scootched down to give my cock the right angle. I again had enough pre-cum going to make sliding between her thighs at the triangle very pleasurable, and after a few minutes of that I reached down to move some of the wetness around. I don't know if it was just that I was producing more pre-cum or not, but she was already pretty wet, and I played with her with my fingers for a minute or two. I'd go about a knuckle deep into her pussy, then pull out and push it forward to tweek her clit a bit. I was still being mindful of going slow and gently to not wake her up, but it was definitely a lot of fun!

I figured that was enough of that, and it was time to get on with the show! I snuggled back up to her and pushed my dick forward... and she rolled over again! I was afraid she'd woken up, but she kept on snoring so I figured I was safe enough. But what was I going to do now! I tried nudging her over, but that didn't work any better than it had the first night so I gave that up. Thinking it wasn't going to happen, I had decided that I'd just rub one out and go to sleep. But, since she was in the position she was (on her back, lying up against me) I thought I'd play with her nipples and maybe rub her clit a little bit first. I didn't want to be the only one waking up frustrated the next morning!

Her nipples were already good and hard, and I was even able to get my lips and tongue to the right one to suck on it a little. When I reached down to her pussy, though, her legs were pretty tight together and I couldn't get much play in. I tried gently easing her legs apart, but in her sleep she was not being compliant at all! I ended up rubbing her bush just above her pussy, but that wasn't very satisfying.

Suddenly, she stirred and rolled over on her side again! She muttered something unintelligible, ground her teeth for a bit, then started snoozing again. I waited, almost breathlessly, for two or three minutes before getting back in position. I touched around her pussy opening to make sure she was still nice and lubed (she was!) and put my cock in the triangle area and started moving back and forth. When things were nice and slick I pulled back to try to line everything up, pushed forward, and slipped right back to the same position. Not that it felt bad, but I wasn't in her! I tried several more times, over a period of seven or eight minutes, but everytime I thought I was going to get in this time, my dick would slide past the opening again. Even when I tried assisting with my hand, pointing him more forcefully towards his goal (ever mindful of being gentle and not waking the wife up) it just wasn't happening.

I took a moment to assess the situation and figure out what was wrong. I'd been so focused on getting my cock in her pussy that I hadn't paid as much attention to her body position. When I thought about it a bit, I realized that her top (right) leg was not on her bottom (left) leg but was pushed forward past it just a little. That meant I wasn't lined up right relative to her; that's why I couldn't get in. I thought if I raised up on my elbow and thrust my hips up a bit, I could maybe get the angle right. I was leaner, and in better shape back then, but even so it was a tall order, and it just wasn't happening.

I lay back down and thought I'd try one more time to get it in, and if it didn't work I'd jack off and call it a night. I lined up without much real hope, and pushed forward, pushing up a little harder on my dick than I had before. I was right at her opening, but couldn't quite get the head to pop in, and I don't mind telling you I was almost on the point of tears with the frustration. I was just going to give up when she shifted slightly, putting her right leg on top of her left.

Oh.My.God! That little movement was enough, and I was suddenly buried to the hilt in my wife's warm, wet, inviting pussy! Oh.My.GAWD! I almost came right then and there, just from the sheer ecstasy of working at it for so long, getting almost to the point of giving up, and suddenly finding myself there! I paused for a few seconds to make sure she wasn't awake; her breathing was just as before, slow and steady with a light snore. When I'd calmed down a bit, and wasn't in danger of coming, I started slowly fucking her.

Everything was wet and squelchy, and warm, and I'd been so goddamned horny! I knew I wasn't going to last long, so I reached behind me for my cum towel so I could minimize the mess. It wasn't there! I remembered I'd used it the night before and thrown it in the hamper. The wife had two or three on her side of the bed, but I couldn't reach them from where I was, obviously! I spent several moments considering my options, while continuing to alternate between fucking her and stopping to avoid coming. Originally I'd intended to pull out and come into a towel to minimuze the mess. As soon as I'd buried my cock in her pussy, I knew I was going to come in her, but still needed a towel to clean up. I thought about just coming, then getting up for the towel but that was going to make for a hell of a wet spot, and I'm nothing if not considerate!

I'd reached the point where I knew I couldn't push my luck much further; no amount of baseball stats or thinking of mutilated Barbie dolls was going to keep me from blowing my load soon. I reluctantlly pulled out of the wife and slowly eased out of bed, and crept over to her side, wang swinging back and forth, to get a towel. I went back to my side of the bed and eased back under the covers, towel at the ready, and got back in position. I'd decided that if I had any trouble getting back in her pussy I'd just jack off into the towel. I considered myself lucky to have gotten what I had, and though I wanted to get back in, if it didn... holy shit, I was back in! I slid in without any problems whatsoever, and it was heavenly as it was the first time! Two pumps later I came so hard my nuts ached! I was gripping the wifes hips, pulling her hard back into me; I don't know how she didn't wake up from that.

When my spasms subsided, I worked the towel down to our joined genitals and slowly pulled back and out. I wanted to catch as much of the cum as I could, but it was still just a mess. I made some half-hearted attempts to wipe the wife clean and get up any that might have gotten on the bed, but it was now going on midnight and I was spent! I chucked the towel in the direction of the hamper (missed it, of course) and fell promptly asleep.

The next morning, the wife's alarm woke us both up at the same time. I was still snuggling her, and kissed her on the neck. She asked "Did you do anything?" but before I answered she reached down and felt her pussy. "Uh, yea, I guess you did! It's messy!" I chuckled and apologized, and got up for another towel to help her clean up. I tried to talk her into letting me help her get off, but she declined saying she had to get ready for work. She seemed pleased, despite the mess, that I'd done it and was impressed that I hadn't woke her up.

Soon her work got caught up, and she wasn't working as much overtime, so we were able to get back to semi-regular sex. Still, over the years, I would occassionaly try to fuck her while she slept, but always with her consent. Sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn't, but it was fun trying either way. Sex when we both wanted it and were both awake was better, but it was a nice thrill now and then to know I was getting off on (and in) her while she was unaware of it.

I haven't done that in a long time now, and most likely won't again, but damn it was good when it works!

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Look Who's Back

Hello? tap tap Is this thing on?

Hey, y’all; is there anybody out there? Will anybody know I posted this?

Well, maybe it doesn’t matter. This blog was always meant to be my way of (mostly) anonymously venting about my problems. Sure I wanted readers, and praise for my writing when it was deserved (or even if it wasn’t.) And I guess a part of me hopes that some of you will read this and be happy that I posted something.

Let me catch up on some things, I guess. I made it through the winter months fairly well; the winter blues didn’t do me in like they have in the past. I don’t know what was different this year than in the past; maybe just a better attitude about things in general, and not being so hard on myself or so easily frustrated with the wife.

I haven’t lost the weight I’ve been trying to lose for two-plus years now. I get down a little bit, then I go off the rails again and put it all back on (with interest!) That doesn’t stop me from trying, though, and this time I will do better! Or not; we’ll see.

Back in March the wife went to Germany for 2 weeks. I’ve been encouraging her to go for some time because her mother is in bad health. Not only is she physically declining, she has dementia and it’s really starting to show. So I’ve told the wife that she needs to go while she can, but she kept refusing. But her sisters insisted, and even offered to buy the tickets (assuming, I suppose, that I am too poor to buy her a ticket) and that was enough to convince her.

She was gone for two weeks, and though I’ve been good since last year I have to admit that my first thought was to wonder if some shenanigans could ensue. Twice I was able to spend uninterrupted time with L, and we could have done anything we wanted (B was at work and we had the house to ourselves) but she wasn’t buying what I was selling. Hell, I couldn’t even give it away!

And I was actually fine with that. We had a good time together both evenings, and things seemed fine for the most part between us. I’m a little pissed about something she said (concerning the wife), and it would seem to indicate that there’s not much chance that we’ll ever be as close as we were before, but I suppose we’ll continue to get along well enough.

Meanwhile, Simplicity suggested that we get together for a platonic dinner (respecting my wish to be good), so we met on a Saturday evening to grab a bite. I wanted to try out a newish place between both of our cities and she agreed. When we got there I was worried that I might have made a mistake, because it didn’t look like much of anything from the outside. Inside was a little better, but still had a “cafeteria” feel to it (for my part.) But the food was actually pretty darn good, and they had beer (for me) and some girly drink (for Simplicity) that I can’t remember the name of.

After eating, we walked around the block a few times, then we decided to head back to where we’d met. During the drive we held hands and continued talking, and I finally admitted that I’d wanted to kiss her all night. (Actually, I may or may not have used the word “fuck” but I’m not certain.) The feeling was clearly mutual, so I decided to swing by the old office to see if anyone was there. Nobody was there, fortunately, so we went inside, locked the doors, and kept the lights off. Kissing led to touching and biting and licking and pulling clothes off and sucking and fucking and it was hot and wet and dirty and so goddamned good and over too quick.

We cleaned up as best we could and straightened up furniture that might have been moved around a bit, then left giggling and feeling good. I dropped Simplicity off at her car after another kiss goodnight and slept better that night than I had all week, I think.

Sunday afternoon, though, Simplicity started being mean to me. She texted me saying that she was eating Mexican food; normally that would have been okay, but I was having a few beers and smoking a cigar, and I immediately started craving Mexican food. I don’t like going to restaurants alone, plus I’d been drinking, so here I am with a craving and nothing to do about it! When she later texted that they were having margaritas, I couldn’t take it and called her a heartless bitch! (All in good fun, of course.)

The girl I used to work with a few years ago, the one I wrote briefly about before in a post called “The Saint Patrick’s Day Massacre”, and I also had a “date” the following Friday night. I’ve had a crush on her for a while, but always figured my chances were nil after that afore-mentioned massacre (I finally got the nerve to tell her I was interested and she gently shot me down.) I texted her on a whim to see how things were going, and thought about asking if she’d like to get some dinner. I didn’t expect anything to happen, but you never know, right?

As it happens, she virtually invited me to go out; she made it a point for me to know that she was free the upcoming weekend (her ex-boyfriend would have their daughter), and when I kind of zoned on that obvious hint she said “So if you’re bored while the wife is away and want to do anything, let me know!” Even I’m not that dense, so we made arrangements to go to dinner.

I was admittedly preoccupied with thoughts of what might happen, and how I could steer events in that direction, but ultimately I was too much of a pussy to pull the trigger when it counted. I had opportunities where I could have tried something; after dinner (Mexican) and drinks (Margaritas)  we were back at her place drinking some wine and watching TV (we were going to play Wii, but it turned out her ex-boyfriend has it.) We were sitting comfortably close together on her couch, but she was kind of sitting forward so I reached over and started scratching her back (over her shirt.) She indicated that she enjoyed that, so after a few minutes I started giving her a shoulder and back rub.

Now shoulder rubs are my go-to move when I want to try to get something going with a girl. (By “go-to move” I mean that it worked once before, years ago.) We continued to talk, and I thought about leaning forward to nuzzle/kiss around her neck; that’s the important part of the move and will let you know immediately if the person in question is interested in more than a quick massage. But the angle we were sitting at on the couch just didn’t lend itself to making the move without a lot of shifting and moving and generally telegraphing that I’m sitting up and leaning forward and… well, you get the picture.

I let a great opportunity slip through my fingers when she kind of cooed and said “Wow! I’ve had dinner, drinks, and now a nice massage. What else could a girl want?” My head (I don’t know which one) was screaming to say “How about a kiss?” in that low, sexy voice that turns knees to water and get girls all buttery in their nether regions. Not that I have that low, sexy voice, but that’s how I wanted to say it. But before I got around to it, she started talking about something else and the moment was gone.

I left around 1 a.m., tired and frustrated with myself for not having made a stronger move. Trying and being slapped down again would have been preferable to the feeling that maybe she did want something and I lost my chance. On the other hand, I don’t think I was too subtle either; the massage, the touches, even some of the points of conversations should have been enough for her to know I was sending signals. She never indicated that she was uncomfortable with my signals, but she also never did anything to encourage more. It’s entirely possible that she did, though, and I was too insecure to pick up on it. But it’s also possible that had I tried to push for more (by kissing her, for instance) and she wasn’t receptive, it would make her uncomfortable to be around me later and adversely affect our friendship.

Later on Saturday I texted her to see if she wanted to hang out again; if she’d said yes I was determined to kiss her before the night was out, and damned the consequences. She declined, saying she had too much cleaning and whatnot to do.

So it goes.

 Now the wife is back safe and sound, and we both had a nice vacation, so I can’t complain too much. There’s a new motorcycle that’s caught my eye; I want it, but I know the smarter, financially sound decision is to wait another year to knock some of my debt down first. But I’m impatient, and I really like the bike. It will interesting to see which side will win the debate over the next week or so.