Saturday, August 30, 2014

Weekend Update - Friday/Saturday

Saturday Morning

I'm starting on my weekend update this morning, and will continue to update it as necessary, then post the final product Monday evening or Tuesday morning. I'm doing it this way because it's a long weekend, and some interesting (though not really sexual) things happened Friday, and I don't want to lose the thread of that over the weekend.

Friday just before lunch, Craig (from the story Craig's List Finally Comes Through) texted me. I won't go into it word for word, but he asked where I'd gone, saying I just fell off the world. I could have mentioned that he didn't text me either, but the truth is that I just didn't really feel like maintaining contact with him. Not that there's anything wrong with him; under some circumstances I think we could maybe be friends without benefits. But he's just too... I don't know, eager?

But we talked, and at one point I made mention of my age, and how everyone under 40 looks like a 20 something to me. He came back with "but you're hot! Don't be so down on yourself!" What was I supposed to say to that? "You are too"? "Thanks"?

Oh, yea, I guess I could have said "Thanks". Well, I didn't say anything because at the time I was at lunch with some coworkers. Normally I'm not invited, but I'd asked one of that guys that morning if he could take a ride in my Trailblazer at lunch to see if he could tell what was wrong with it. I thought it was the transmission, but I don't know anything about cars and needed someone with auto knowledge to help out. He agreed, then told me later a group was going out to eat, so he rode with me and we met them out there. (Turns out it's not the transmission, but the water pump needs to be replaced. Goodbye $450!)

Anyway, I saw Craig's text about me being hot when he sent another text asking when he'd get to "have that mouth again?" Instead of just saying that I'm over that whole thing, at least for now, I wimped out and just said that baseball season is over now so it might be a while. He replied back with "Ok then" which made me feel kind of guilty, so I followed up explaining that as annoying as it is for the wife to go to so many games, it's a welcome respite from the normal tied-at-the-hip thing (h/t to James.) He answered "I hear ya" and that's the last of it.

In one way, I want him to get the message loud and clear that I'm not interested in any further shenanigans, and really not even contact. As I said, it's not that he's a bad guy, but just too eager and I suspect if we did try to hang out "just as friends" he'd want something more and I'd be adamantly opposed to it, and it would get awkward and uncomfortable.

Anyway, after lunch I got back to the office and finished up some paperwork, then left a little after 2 p.m. I had some errands to run that had to be done earlier than I would have gotten off normally, and that it helped start the 3-day weekend a little earlier was just gravy. One of those errands was to get a quote from a local mechanic on fixing the water pump, then I stopped by my old office to check in on Z and kill some time before getting the new stereo fixed (again!) (More on that later.)

I had a short visit with Z and one of the employees, and on my way out Z and I stood outside and continued the conversation while he smoked his pipe. I asked if he'd ever gotten around to reading the blog and he said he had, but not since the update involving T. He admitted that it had made him a little uncomfortable, and I reminded him that he was the one who said he wanted to keep up with it. He laughed and said "I know, I know," then he mumbled something else and said "...but you still have that facial hair, so..."

(This is in reference to a comment he posted saying that our long-time friendship would make anything happening between us very awkward, especially since my facial hair would likely cause him bad memories from being molested as a kid by his father.)

We both had a good laugh out of that, but it did make me wonder at the possibility of anything like that happening. Right now I'm not really feeling the urge to do anything, and who knows if it will come back at a later time. Still, it was an interesting comment on his part, though it's highly likely it meant nothing.

The other interesting thing that happened on Friday was that I told L about the wife going on a bus trip with some of the season ticket holders some 5 1/2 hours out of town to watch a baseball game. It's a free trip that our local team does for the season ticket holders each year, and this was the first time she'd have a chance to go. L suggested that we should hang out since B would be working that night, and we decided we'd go out to eat at a nice restaurant. Now I'd be lying if I said I didn't immediately start thinking of other things we could get up to, but I didn't say anything about it and neither did she.

Well, that is to say I don't know if she said anything about it or not. As we talked about where we'd go to eat, I said anyplace was fine with me, and she said the same. After a few "where do YOU want to go" back and forths, she finally said "Okay, well think of something you want to try or haven't had for a while..." I was tempted to make a sexually charged reply to this, but decided to take the high road and treat it as a perfectly innocent statement. However, given our history it's really hard to believe she didn't see the double entendre in the statement.

So that's the plan for today. After the wife gets on the bus, and I get some things done around the house, I'm heading down there. We'll see what we see!

Saturday Night

Well, the long of short of it is; B must have taken some lessons from the wife on how to fuck up plans to have a good time. Of all the days for him to decide to call in sick, he had to pick tonight! I still drove down, and we hung out (the three of us!) for a while. In fact, it wasn't a bad visit at all; it just wasn't what it could have been.

I don't know if anything would have happened if it had just been L and I or not, but I would have preferred it just be her and I. We were going to go to the restaurant, then a few shops she wanted to stop, before heading back home (to their place.) Even without shenanigans, it just would have been more fun if we could have focused on us instead of being guarded around B (or anyone else.)

And if nothing had happened, if after all that time alone together L had shut down any naughtiness, I certainly would have been disappointed. Back when we first got involved it would have been a dream come true to have this much time to explore and play and really get right down in it. But times are different now, and though I don't like it I respect her wishes in that regard. If we'd had this golden opportunity and she'd said "no", I would have driven home after an otherwise good visit and felt a little sad, but it would have been okay.

But now I'm disappointed and frustrated, because I have no idea what might have happened. B being there fucked the whole pooch. Based on some of the things L said after he decided not to go to work, I know she'd been looking forward to us having us to ourselves. There was no definitive declaration of what we would have done, nor was there any statements that we would not have done anything, but I think the idea had to at least have crossed her mind. On a scale of 1 ("keep your hands to yourself, buster") to 10 (ripping each others clothes off as soon as we were alone), I think we were looking at a 4 at least, maybe even a 5. So it goes.

After finishing the Friday and Saturday portion, I've decided to post it now because of it's length. I'll post the rest of the update for Sunday/Monday if anything interesting and blog worthy happens. 

Friday, August 29, 2014

Joke of the Week

It's been a while since I've posted one of these, but I thought this one was cute.

An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life." "Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, two retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You fuck her again."

Monday, August 25, 2014


I haven’t had much to write about lately; in fact, it’s been some time since I’ve posted anything besides a flash fiction story. There’s been no real reason for this other than there just hasn’t been a lot happening worth posting about. But I thought I’d give a little update on how things are to date across several fronts, and talk about some things I’m happy/excited about.

My relationship with the wife has been… okay. We’re back in the same old rut as before, but it doesn’t bother me as much right now. I still get kind of pissed when she stays late at games on a work night, because we both have to get up early in the morning. But on those nights when she’s likely to be out late I stay in the spare room so she doesn’t wake me up when she gets in.

Otherwise, things really are okay with us. When she is around, we spend more time together, if that makes sense. She still gets on her computer and I still read a lot, but we try to pay attention to each other and take time to talk about things. We aren’t having a lot of sex, and when we do it’s the same old routine, but what are you going to do, right?

My relationship with L has been… okay. There haven’t been any spats, except the ones I act out in my head when I feel slighted (like finding out she and B were in town again checking out some local breweries but didn’t ask us to join them.) In contrast to this cold shoulder, there are other times when she’s really warm and sweet. There’s nothing overtly flirty, not enough that I could act on (even if it were to just call her out on it), but there are times it feels like there’s still a spark there for her. Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking on my part.

She and B are getting along well enough, and though she still thinks about S sometimes and gets sad, she’s slowly working through her feelings on that. She and B still have spats, but nothing like it was before (at least, not that she’s telling me.) They went to the beach a few weekends ago with L’s daughter and her girlfriend and apparently had a pretty good time.

Speaking of L’s daughter and her girlfriend, L confided to me that her daughter confirmed what we all pretty much knew anyway, that she’s a lesbian. It’s not surprising by any means, but L is having a hard time dealing with it. She loves her daughter and will stand behind her no matter what, but she does have a deep down feeling that same-sex relationships are wrong. I hope she gets over that, but as long as she’s there for her daughter I can’t really give her too much crap about it. Besides, L says her biggest issue with it right now is that she wishes her daughter would find someone, boy or girl, more suitable for her than her current girlfriend.

My relationship with everyone else is basically null. We tried to get together with several of our couples friends a while back, but they “weren’t available” whenever we’d ask. Then I’d see their post on Facebook about being out or hanging with so-and-so doing such-and-such. After a while I just stopped asking, or expecting them to ask us. shrug

For the past few weeks, we’ve been really strict about eating at home and not drinking during the week. We save money eating at home, and I don’t eat as much when I’m not drinking, which has a number of benefits (though significant weight loss is, to date, not one of them.) Plus, we’re not spending as much money replenishing the “bar”, and I wake up feeling better in the mornings.

I recently ordered a box of cigars online, which I don’t normally do. But when I have a chance to get a box of Partagas 1845 extra oscuro (dark wrapper) for less than $100, I’m going to jump on it. I got my favorite size, the 6” x 60 (gigante) and they are a really good smoke; a little peppery on the start but they mellow out after the first two inches. (I still prefer the Partagas Black Label, but they were just a bit out of my budget.) I’ve had three of them so far (out of 18) and they feel really consistent across the line.

The wife and I are going to Myrtle Beach in… let’s see, add the columns, carry the tens, subtract the mod of the square root of pi, 10 days. Going after the Labor Day weekend is so much less expensive, and we avoid a big part of the crowds. I can’t wait to get there and eat some real seafood! And sit on the beach in my camp chair, under my beach umbrella (sometimes) and smoking a cigar while the wife hunts for shark teeth. And I’m going to see if I can get her to flash truck drivers on the way down/back!

And we finally sprung to upgrade the stereo system in our main vehicle. The system that came with it is 10 years old (like the car), and though it gets XM/Sirius radio, that’s about all it does. The new one will be touch screen, and will connect to our phones via Bluetooth and the wife’s older iPod through an auxiliary jack. It should sound and work a heap better than the current one, especially considering how much it’s going to cost to get it put in!

I think that’s about all I’ve got for now. I won’t insult anyone’s intelligence by “promising to write more”; if I have something I feel inspired to write about, I will. I think I’ll be able to work with this week’s Flash Fiction Friday, so I should have a story up for that.

Friday, August 22, 2014

FFF - It Begins - 8/22/2014

Where did she come from?
Key Words: Wild, Found, Saved (use all three)
Word Limit: 300
Forbidden Words: Dirty
Bonus Words:  Let her speak, but it’s not going to be understood
Extra Credit:  When was the last time you played outside?
Sarah and Brian watched in stunned silence at the news report on television.

“John, officials say they have no idea how long the young woman, who appears to be in her teens, may have been living in the Jefferson National Forest. There is some speculation that she may have been abandoned there when quite young, perhaps even as a baby.”

“Why do they think that, Gary?”

“She hasn’t spoken, or attempted any form of real communication, meaning she most likely was never taught language. There are indications that she might have been saved and taken care of by… something, though, at least until she was old enough to survive on her own.”

“What the fuck, Brian! You told me you that… that thing was dead fifteen years ago!”

”What do you mean “something”, Gary?”

“The lair she is believed to have lived in contained some odd, um… figures, dolls maybe, made out of twigs and leaves and such. Also, the walls were covered in some strange markings resembling ancient runes.”

“I thought it was,” Brian answered. “It was stronger than we thought.”

“And it had help, apparently,” Sarah added.

”Gary, I guess the big question is how did she remain hidden for so long?”

“John, park officials tell me that the forest is huge, and large parts of it go unpatrolled because of how dense the vegetation is. If something, or someone, doesn’t want to be found, it won’t be. If she hadn’t stepped out on the ATV trail when a ranger was on patrol, they would have never found her.”

“Any idea why she came out now, Gary?”

“Because it’s time,” answered Brian.

“Can we stop it?” Sarah asked.

“Not anymore.”

There was a flurry of activity on the TV screen; the police were moving the wild woman from the wagon into the station, and the cameras were rushing forward to get a good look at her. Gary’s cameraman zoomed in tight on the thing’s face, and she looked up into, then through, the camera. Sarah and Brian shivered as her gaze fell directly on them.

”Azuk tak a’tul qar. Uer tak a’tul haqar. Murq tak a’tul akum!”

Translation wasn’t necessary; they both knew the words of the prophecy. First I will kill the man. Then I will kill mankind. Last I will kill you!”

These things always sound so much better in my head. By the time I get them written, they lose much of what I wanted them to say.

I'm over the word limit, but not by too awful much. Get over to Advizor54's site and read the rest of this week's entries.

Friday, August 8, 2014

FFF Take Two - Interested

This is a different take on this week's Flash Fiction Friday story, and much longer to boot. I don't know if I captured it as well as I would have liked, but I hope you enjoy it.

I wasn't able to attach the picture because I'm posting this from my phone.

“Hey, Jeff,” I called over to the barkeep. He looked up from the crossword puzzle he was working on and, noticing my empty bottle, stood up and grabbed another one from the fridge. He opened it and sat it in front of me.

“Would you some lunch, sir?” he asked. I travel to the city a lot, and have stayed at the hotel and eaten here more times than I can count (okay, 15 times in the past 2 years) but Jeff still called me “sir.” I might have taken offense if it weren’t for the fact that he called everyone “ma’am” or “sir.”

“Not for now,” I answered. “But set the lady up with another of whatever she’s drinking.” I didn’t have to specify which lady; there was only the three of us in the hotel’s restaurant at this time of day.

Jeff looked to the other side of the bar and frowned slightly. “You know she’s- “

“Yes, I know,” I smiled. Jeff grinned and shrugged, then set about making her drink. It looked like a Cosmopolitan.

Yes, I knew “she” was really a “he” the moment I saw her when I came down for a drink. Not that she didn’t look the part; long hair, slender frame, nice bust without making a mockery of it which so many cross-dressers do. She wasn’t just some guy with a fetish for wearing women’s clothes, or a flaming drag queen; she identified as a woman. She’d obviously had some practice and probably would have fooled a lot of guys, especially if they were looking through the bottom of a couple shot glasses, but there were subtle clues.

I watched Jeff deliver the drink and point me out to her. She asked him something I couldn’t hear (but could guess) and he glanced at me before looking back at her and nodding. She looked over at me then quickly looked down at her hands when I smiled at her. After a moment she took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and looked back up, returning my smile. “Would you like to join me?” she asked.

I smiled again and picked up my drink to move to her side of the bar. “I’m Rob,” I said, taking her offered hand in mine.

“Hi, Rob. I’m Carolyn, and thank you for the drink.” She didn’t have the “dark, brown voice” of The Kink’s Lola; hers was a little husky, but sounded feminine and naturally high-pitched, not forced.

“You’re welcome, Carolyn,” I replied with a raised eyebrow.

She blushed and her hand went instinctively to her neck. Her Adam’s apple wasn’t very prominent, but it was one of the subtle clues I’d caught. “I was originally ‘Tim’,” she said reluctantlyl

“Do you mind talking about it?” I asked. She stiffened and I could see the wariness in her eyes when she looked up at me. “Hey, Carolyn, look I’m not judging at all. I’m genuinely interested in getting to know you, and yes, I’m nosy,” I said, grinning. I’ve been told my grin can melt panties.

She stared at me for a moment, searching my face for any sign of cruelty or mischief. Seeing none, she relaxed and nodded. “Okay,” she said.

“Thank you,” I said, sincerely. “And if I ask anything too personal, just say the word and I’ll drop it, okay? I take it this,” I waved my hand to take her all in “is more or less full time?”

She nodded. “I’ve been living full-time as a girl since I moved out here seven or eight months ago. I dressed up some before, but only on the weekends and only when I was going somewhere an hour or so away from my home town.”

“Does your family know?”

“I apparently don’t have any family,” she replied sadly. “In other words, yes, they know and have decided they don’t want anything to do with me.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s okay. I think my mother will come around eventually, but my father will never understand. He doesn’t believe in all of that ‘woman stuck in a man’s body crap’,” her voice deepened as she mimicked him. “In his eyes, I’m just a faggot.” The unresolved pain was quite evident.

“Are you pre-op?” I asked.

“Yes,” she grinned. “Honestly I don’t know if I’ll have the… ahem… balls to have the surgery.” I chuckled politely at her joke. “Seriously,” she continued, “I probably will someday; hopefully soon, if I get the nerve up and can afford it. I’ve been going through hormone replacement therapy and it’s going well. These,” she cupped her breasts “are actually real!”

“They suit you,” I said, laughing. She laughed with me and, for the first time, seemed completely at ease.

We continued to talk, and when the lunch crowd arrived I suggested we leave and walk around the city. We ate a late lunch at a deli Carolyn knew about but had never eaten in; it was pretty good. Afterwards, we started heading back to the hotel.

“Do you mind if I ask you some questions, Rob?”

“Not at all,” I answered. “I’m an open book!”

“Is your interest just a way to pass the time until some other women show up?” she asked. “Or are you really interested?” Her emphasis made clear that there were at least two questions being asked.

I considered my answer as we entered  an alley, and about halfway through I took her arm and turned her towards me. “I’m really interested,” I growled, and kissed her hard. Carolyn returned the kiss and then some, pressing me back against the wall. She groped my straining erection, then kneeled down and unzipped me.

“I know we’ve just met,” she said, fishing my cock out of my drawers, “but I really like you.” She kissed and licked me, causing my knees to wobble. She stopped long enough to look up and say “I don’t expect anything in return…”

“Let’s just see what happens,” I replied, smiling down at her. “I have all day to get comfortable with this.”

She smiled and took me back into her mouth.

FFF - My Hotwife - 8-8-2014

Key Phrase: “But we just met”
Word Limit: 300
Forbidden Words: Alley, Knees, Whore
Bonus Words:  Make it in the daytime
Extra Credit:  Tell us the dirtiest place you’ve ever had sex
I finally told Janet, my wife of eight years, my biggest fantasy; to watch her in bed with another man. She’d laughed at first, thinking it was just the alcohol talking, but after discussing it all night she realized that I was serious.

Flash forward six months and after a lot of talking and fantasizing, she started flirting with her coworker Mark. He couldn't believe his luck, and constantly needed reassurance that I was on board with their plans. They finally set a date to meet for lunch then head over to a hotel room I’d booked earlier. I sat at the bar and would follow them to the hotel later.

Mark was ten minutes late when she got his text explaining that this was just too weird and he couldn't go through with it. I admit to being a bit relieved, but I could see how hurt Janet was. She took it personally and saw it as proof that she wasn't desirable, and nothing I could say would console her. We drank in brooding silence.

“You know,” I said, “your outfit is so fucking hot! Let’s go to my room and see how it looks crumpled up on the floor!”

“Go to your hotel room with you?” She asked, batting her eyelashes. “But we just met! What kind of woman do you think I am?”

“I think you’re a good little slut that needs a good fucking! We’ll take pictures to show your husband later!”

We were both excited with the role playing, and I paid the bar tab so we could leave. As we walked between the buildings to the parking lot, she pushed me against the wall and kissed me hard before squatting and unzipping my fly. She didn't seem to care about the lunchtime crowds walking by 20 feet away as she pulled out my cock and started sucking me; frankly, I didn't much care by this time either!

I saw the cop standing nearby, and at first thought we were busted. But he just watched Janet blowing me for a few minutes, then looked at me and said “Can I have next?” I looked at Janet, who looked at me, my cock still in her mouth and a question in her eyes. I nodded to her, and she signaled the cop to come on over.

390 words. Advizor54 didn't specify how many bonus words we’d get for making it in broad daylight so I made up my own number.

The dirtiest place I've ever had sex? My cars are always junky, so I guess that could be one answer. If we’re talking “naughty” I don’t know… blowing T in a public restroom, maybe? Actually, I guess that could qualify for the first meaning of “dirty” too. I guess I don’t have a lot of interesting things to say about the places I've had sex.

But get on over to Advizor54’s site and read this week’s Flash Fiction Friday entries. I bet some of them can tell some real humdingers about the dirty places they've e had sex!

Monday, August 4, 2014

Weekend Update

Happy Monday, everyone! I had mostly a quiet weekend, and since it is shark week there was no sex on the agenda. Saturday was damp and cool, so the wife and I mostly stayed in after our chores and caught up on some shows and movies we have on the DVR. Sunday was much nicer, and we got out on the bike for a little while.

The only real excitement (if you can call it that) was the dryer stopped working about five minutes after I started it Sunday morning. I ran through some usual trouble-shooting and finally wound up at the breaker box. The breaker for the dryer didn’t look like it had tripped, but as soon as I touched it the lever clicked into the middle position (between “Off” and “On.”) No matter what I did the breaker wouldn’t reset, even after unplugging the dryer from the circuit.

It seemed like the breaker was bad (either warn or burnt out) so I took to Google to see how difficult it would be to replace it. For some of you this might not seem like a big deal, but I’ve always been too afraid of electricity to do much more than plug and unplug appliances in. In fact, I generally haven’t like messing around with just about anything in the house; I haven’t had the confidence to be much of a DIYer.  It’s only been in the past few years that I’ve been willing to go outside of my comfort zone on anything, even small plumbing tasks. Actually diving into a breaker box is a big step for me!

I watched some videos and read some articles by real electricians (so they claim, anyway) and saw that it really shouldn’t be that hard to replace it. In fact, it turned out the hardest part of the whole job was finding the exact breaker I need! Every video, every article, and even a few people I know advised that I use the exact same breaker (brand name and all), but none of the local hardware stores carried my brand. Finally I talked to my cousin who does some easier electrical work on the properties he rents and/or leases. He has a collection of breakers and just happened to find a used one (but still in good condition) that met the exact specifications.

I took it home and (following all precautions) took out the old one (which was in pretty bad shape) and replaced it; after turning everything back on I tested the dryer. It came on and seemed to be working fine, but the wife said she heard something in the breaker box while the dryer was running. I had her start the dryer while I watched the circuit, and sure enough I could hear the buzzing and popping, and even saw some arc flashes.

I shut the breaker off, but left it in place, and am having a real electrician show up tonight. It’s possible that I put the breaker in slightly wrong, though the way it snaps in should make the unlikely. It’s more likely that there is a problem with the dryer itself, or something in the wiring has gone (to use the technical term) wonky. Maybe a problem in the dryer caused the wiring to go wonky, and in turn blew out the breaker. I don’t know and wouldn’t even know how to begin to look at where the problem really is, but hopefully the electrician can tell me exactly what needs to be done.

So that was my weekend, and I hope you all had nice weekends as well.

Friday, August 1, 2014

FFF - Just Too Young - 8/1/14

Word Limit: 350
Forbidden Words: Money, Regret
Extra Credit:  Tell us if you've ever paid for sex, on-line or off
Bonus Words:  50 if you make her barely legal, barely
The unmistakable “Boop de doop” of an incoming Skype call rang out, and Kim quickly answered when she saw it was Darryl. “Hi baby!” she gushed.

“Hey. I thought we’d do a video call since you won’t let me come over,” he replied.

“We can’t do that yet, baby,” she giggled. “I’m still underage, remember?”

“You’re the only girl I know who takes ‘age of consent’ laws so seriously!” Darryl said grumpily. “We've already done everything together!”

“When you were 18, my being 17 wasn't a problem. Since your birthday last week, you could go to jail just for seeing me naked, much less having sex with me! Now be patient, it’s only another 15 minutes until midnight.”

Darryl knew there were all kinds of ways that didn't make sense, but the hell of it was he knew she was probably right anyway. He didn't mind breaking laws when it suited him, though.

“I still wish you’d let me come over so I could be there at midnight,” he sighed.

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry,” Kim answered. “But there’s no way you could have kept your hands off me.”

“Are you naked?” Darryl asked in that sleepy, sexy voice he knew drove Kim crazy.

“Yes,” she purred. “And in just another 10 minutes you’ll get to see!”

“Are your nipples hard?”

“Mm hmm,” she sighed.

“Oh, man! Twist and pull them for me, baby!”

“Yes!” she breathed. “I’m getting wet. Ooh! I’m so sensitive down there!”

“Are you touching yourself?” Darryl half groaned. “God damned, that’s hot!”

“Hmmm… I’m so slippery and… ooooooohhhh! Two fingers just slipped right in,” she sighed.

“Oh, c’mon baby, please! I’ve got to see you! Nobody’s gonna know! Come on, just turn the camera on!”

“Okay,” she moaned. “I can’t wait either. I’m turning the camera on now!” She clicked the link to start video sharing just in time to see Darryl’s bedroom door bust in and three cops rush into the room.

“Darryl Vimes, you are under arrest for accepting pornographic images of an underage minor via the internet!” the lead cop screamed over Darryl’s protests.

Kim stood up and donned her robe, and asked the female detective “Was that good enough?”

“It sure was; we've wanted to bust that scumbag for months!” she answered, glancing at the clock. “And now it’s midnight and your parents aren't home; how about taking that robe back off?”

400 words; I took the bonus because I don't know how much more "barely" legal I could make someone. Too bad for Darryl I didn't make her 18 just a few seconds earlier!

I have definitely paid for sex off line. I've written about my Uncle getting me a hooker, and I was stationed close enough to Frankfurt Germany to get to the "poof houses" when I needed to. The closest I've ever come to paying for sex online was setting up an account on Ashley Madison three or so years ago. I may have paid for it in that respect, but I never got anything for my money.

Now get on over to Advizor54's site and read the other entries for this week's Flash Fiction Friday!