Friday, October 4, 2013

Excuses, Excuses

I playfully flashed the wife this morning, just because I was feeling good, and she laughed and said “Tonight, maybe.” It will depend on whether or not the niece is home, you see, although we have had sex when she was here, too. So there’s at least a chance for sex tonight. Yay! I guess.

Maybe my ambivalence about it stems from having sneakily jerked off this morning before the wife woke up. Post orgasm, it’s normal to not have sex as much on the brain as it is when it’s been a while since you came. But even outside of that, it’s been a long time since I had that feeling of anticipation about planned sex with the wife.

I still enjoy having sex with her, especially when it just kind of pops up (hehe) unexpectedly. She’s not really responsive when I lick her pussy, and her blowjobs are fine but perfunctory, but the sex is… adequate. And usually we finish her off with her toy(s) unless she’s not really feeling it. Yea, it’s routine, but what are you going to do after 20+ years? She’s not the type to try to branch out too much, and I’m not the type to push for it (even though I want to branch out quite a bit.)

So I guess it’s no surprise that I really just don’t get excited about the idea of having sex later tonightwith the wife. If everything comes together (hehe) and we do have sex, it will be… fine, and maybe even good. But it’s hard (hehe) to get real stoked about it, especially when there’s a better-than-even chance that it won’t happen at all. We’re going out to dinner tonight with L’s ex FiL, which means I’ll probably have one or six beers (it could be anywhere in that range.) Then I’ll probably have a few when we get home, either beer or vodka. So, you know… whisky dick is a distinct possibility.

And honestly, sometimes I drink to excess on purpose, so I’ll have an excuse not to have sex with her. Like, if it’s 8 o’clock, and I know she’s kind of expecting something but I’m feeling like there’s a good chance I won’t be able to get an erection (because I’m just not excited about it), I’ll have that extra drink, and maybe another extra drink. She’s gotten pretty good at reading the signs over the years, and knows that when I’m having those drinks sex probably won’t happen. I feel guilty about it (sometimes) but not enough to, you know, not do it.

And in my defense, sometimes I get that way because of her. I might be feeling amorous all day long, and while we’re sitting on the couch I try to sneak in a kiss or a quick snuggle, just to let her know I’m ready for action. If she doesn’t react, or pushes me away (physically or mentally) it kills my libido and I just shut down. Later she might start hinting about something happening, but it’s too late then and I just claim to be too tired, or have that third or fifth drink. Like I said, she’s learned to read that sign, even if she’s become adept at ignoring all the others.

1 comment:

  1. Gee, that sounds very familiar.
    I used to do the same thing a number of years ago with my wife.
    Whenever we fucked, I had to position myself on top of her so as allow her to have her hand on her clit so she could masturbate (finger her clit) while I fucked her.
    It was the most uncomfortable way to fuck, because of the effort involved.
    The more we fucked this way, the more I disliked it.
    It got to the point where i would be like you, masturbate earlier in the day to relieve the sexual tension, then later in the evening, have a number of drinks so as to have whiskey dick.
    It became such a habit to masturbate, and not fuck her, that i finally gave up fucking all together.
    Now I just masturbate, or have my lady friend masturbate me, then I her, and that way we the lady friend and I are both happy.
    I know that the wife masturbates all the time as well, because i have found her tube of KY in her night table, and it is not full like it used to be some time back.
    Now I am in the stage of life that it really does not matter if I ever fuck again, but if I can get pleasure from masturbation, I am happy.

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