Weekend Update

Good morning, and I hope everyone had a good weekend. If you were worried about me because I didn't post this update yesterday, I apologize. Since it was a three day weekend, I decided to wait until today because for me, the weekend wasn't over yet.

As I said on Friday, we drove down to L's (actually B's, and L is living there) Saturday for L's daughter's graduation. L finally told me on Friday that she'd decided not to move after all; she can't be with S (the boyfriend) long-term, she can't make it on her own, she really wants to fix what she broke with B, etc. In other words, same shit different day.

I'm not surprised, though; I know she can't be around S more than a few days. She likes being with him for a weekend for the sex and the attention he gives her, but after that she gets frustrated because he wants sex ALL the time, and won't let up on the attention long enough to let her breathe. He's a truck driver and he winds up gone most evenings on his route. Even then she can't get a break from him because he's constantly texting her, telling her he loves her and wanting her assurance that she loves him too. Hm, I wonder why that sounds familiar.

Anyway, so we went down there, and the ceremony itself only lasted an hour, so I was happy about that. L's daughter graduated Magna Cum Laude (she was part of the top ten) and gave a speech along with two others. L was very proud, and of course she cried. With all the problems they've gone through, and the ups and downs the past two years, B was moved by the ceremony too. He's been a part of the girl's life for 15 years or more now, and had as much to do with raising her as L did. They both had every reason to be proud.

We originally weren't going to, but the wife and I decided to stay overnight (at L's invitation.) We knew it was a possibility, so we packed an overnight bag just in case. I told the wife that if it were at all awkward or tense between L and B we weren't going to stay, but they were cool and seemed to be getting along well. The three of us went running around shopping while B stayed home to get some sleep (he works third shift and went right from work that morning to the ceremonies); just like the old days.

Back at the house later, B woke up and he and I started drinking. L had some too, but she no longer tries to keep up with us. The wife, for whatever reason, decided not to drink (even though she'd indicated earlier that she would since we were staying) but she's like that. L and B tried to cajole her into having a few beers, but she wasn't having none of it. She wasn't being a wet blanket by any  means, and she was having a good time regardless; she'd just decided she didn't want to drink that night.

After awhile, around 10 or so, L decided she was done for the night, and I walked in with her and the wife to help the wife get our air mattress blown up and settled. She said she'd be back out, so I went back to have a few more beers with B. The first thing he said when I got out there was "I don't know if this is going to work out with L and me, but can you just let me know what's going on? Can you be that honest for once?" By this point I was fairly well drunk, as was he, and I couldn't figure out where this was coming from. Before I could respond, the wife came out and was standing with us. After a very short period, and without saying anything, she turned around and went back into the house and didn't return. Huh.

B and I were quiet for a moment longer. Finally I got my wits enough together to tell him however it worked out, I was always going to have L's back. He said he understood, and wouldn't have it any other way. I told him (truthfully) that L doesn't confide in me the way she used to, and that I don't always know what's going on with her until after the fact, and even by then I'm just hearing how it all got fucked up (again). And the most important thing I told him was that I didn't want any animosity to be between him and I, but that I'm going to be in L's life whether she's with him, S, or some other guy down the road.

As drunk, white men often do, we hugged it out a few times, we shook hands a few times, all-in-all agreeing on something or another that I was too drunk to truly remember. But I think the basic point was that he knows I'm not going to betray L's trust, but I won't actively work against him. That part isn't entirely true, as I've told L a number of times that I no longer trust him because of the increasingly shitty ways he acts when they break up. He even mentioned that on Saturday night, which turned into Sunday morning as we stood out there drinking. It worries him too, which is why he doesn't know how much longer he can take the back and forth. Though I didn't ask it, the obvious question hung there: why the fuck have you put up with it for this long?

I woke up Sunday morning on the couch in the living room, feeling like shit. (This was pre-planned, as I can't sleep on the air mattress.) I've gotten to the point in my life where I don't recover from drinking too much the way I used to, and for whatever reason beer hangovers are worse than liquor hangovers. I think it's because with liquor there's only so much I can drink and still be able to make another one, whereas with beer all I have to do is pop a tab. In any event, I was in rough shape.

B woke up around the same time and went out to get some coffee, then he and I sat watching ESPN for a while. We didn't talk about the night before, and I guess there really wasn't any need to. I took a shower and felt some better, then woke the wife so we could start getting ready to go.

The wife was acting put off for some reason; distant and non-talkative. She got quickly dressed and we put our stuff together and she said she wanted to go as soon as we could. We packed up, said our good-byes, and hit the road. We stopped for breakfast which I didn't want, but she said I needed to eat (and she was right), and I asked her to drive home as I was not in condition to. By the time we got home she still hadn't said more than 10 words. I asked what's wrong, and of course she said "nothing." I've been married long enough to know "nothing" means "something," but I wasn't in the mood to get into it and let it go.

L texted me later asking what was wrong with the wife. I said I didn't know, but that I must have pissed her off somehow. L said she was mad because the wife didn't want to join us in having fun, and that she was afraid the wife was mad because at one point L and I wound up in the house along together for a few minutes (that's a dynamic I haven't gotten to yet in the What the L series.) Then L said "please don't follow me anywhere in the future where we might be alone."

I know she said that meaning so the wife wouldn't be suspicious of us, but the way she said it stung some. Between that and my feelings that she was being unfair to the wife about her not wanting to drink the night before, I really just didn't want to deal with L's shit. I just answered "ok" and didn't really talk to L the rest of the day.

The wife and I went to a Memorial Day party that a friend of ours was having, but I didn't drink. We had a pretty good time, and finally the wife started loosening up. We left early and wound up going for a short ride on the motorcycle, and when we got home had a few drinks together. Yesterday, Monday, was a nice, slow day. I did the laundry early, then after we had our coffee we got our shopping done and went for another ride later on the bike.

She finally told me what had got her in a sour mood the day before; Saturday night when she came back outside, she thought B and I were ignoring her. She didn't know B had just said what he did, and I was still trying to process that, so it was just a misunderstanding. I didn't tell her about the conversation, but I assured her we weren't trying to ignore her. Alls fine now, though.

So that was my weekend. How was yours?