Lost and Found

As I wrote earlier, it appears Dizcreet.com is down for the count. They started showing a “technical issues” page last Monday, and that hasn’t been changed since then. I would think that if the owners were planning to bring it back up they would have some kind of information about what’s going on and an ETA for the site being available. It’s very telling that they haven’t bothered to do that so far.

It’s a shame, too. I was having fun on the site. I could freely explore and talk with others having similar experiences (or lack of, but wanting some). Of course I can do that some here on my blog, but there it was more of a two-way street as far as communication goes. The chat feature had problems, but it worked well enough.

I did make a couple friends on there that I can still communicate with via email, fortunately. But I still miss the day-to-day chatting with semi random people. And the dick pictures; those were fun too.

One day a few weeks ago, a man I’d just become friends with started chatting with me. After the preliminary, polite “hellos” he asked what I was looking for on the site. I thought he was trying to initiate some “naughty fun”, which would have been fine but I was at work at the time. I had some time to chat here and there, but nothing like what I’d need to play.

Just as I was thinking how to word it so that he wouldn’t be offended and we could try to setup something for another time, he started telling me his story. Like a lot of us, he’d had feelings for a long time but just ignored them, out of denial and fear of being found out. I can’t remember how long he said he’d been married, but he had just gotten a divorce and was obviously still bitter about it. Children were involved, which makes any divorce that much worse.

Most of the people in his life, including his ex, did not know anything about his sexuality, though he said he had come out to a few close friends who were accepting. He said the ex was being a real bitch about the divorce and telling their kids a bunch of lies about him to turn them against him. He said the two older ones saw through it, but the youngest one believes the mother. I’d hate to think of what she’d do and say if she knew about his sexual preferences.

On the positive side, he did say he met a man, and now feels like he finally knows what it means to be truly loved. I don’t see me ever having that feeling for another man, but I told him I was really happy for him that he’d found that. He mentioned being concerned that it meant he really is gay and was living a lie the whole time, but that he was still attracted to women. The chat ended when one or the other of us had to go for work purposes.

I hope that he will be able to find peace with his ex-wife, and be happy with his current fella. I also hope he can get past being hung up with labels, and just enjoy the ride no matter who it’s with. If this were just a physical thing, and exploration for him like it is for me, I’d caution against coming to his family. But if he wants the guy he’s with now to be a part of his life for a significant amount of time, he probably will have to tell them something eventually. I hope he can find acceptance with them that he’s found with the few close friends he’s confided in.