Three Army Generals were told they were being retired but would receive a generous separation bonus.
"You will be paid one thousand dollars for each centimeter of distance you create from one body part to another."
The first general stretched his arms as far from each other as he possibly could, and said "Measure the distance from the fingertips on my left hand, to the fingertips on my right hand." The general left happy with a large sum of money.
The second general stretched his arms as far above his head as possible and said "Measure the distance from the tip of my fingers to the tip of my toes." He also left happy with an even larger sum of money.
The final general said "I want you to measure the distance from my left nut to my right nut." The soldier with the measuring tape didn't understand what was happening but did as he was told. A few moments later the confused soldier said "Sir, I don't understand. I can only see your right nut."
The general said with a big smile on his face: "I know, I lost my left nut in 'nam."
The first general stretched his arms as far from each other as he possibly could, and said "Measure the distance from the fingertips on my left hand, to the fingertips on my right hand." The general left happy with a large sum of money.
The second general stretched his arms as far above his head as possible and said "Measure the distance from the tip of my fingers to the tip of my toes." He also left happy with an even larger sum of money.
The final general said "I want you to measure the distance from my left nut to my right nut." The soldier with the measuring tape didn't understand what was happening but did as he was told. A few moments later the confused soldier said "Sir, I don't understand. I can only see your right nut."
The general said with a big smile on his face: "I know, I lost my left nut in 'nam."
Okay, that's a good one. I'll be using that today at work.
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