Sunday, December 29, 2013

Dark Days

I was in the middle of writing my holiday wrap-up Friday afternoon, thinking I had another hour before the wife got of work. They didn't have a lot going on there, though, so she wound up coming home early, interrupting me. I figured I'd finish the post up Saturday or Sunday (this) morning and didn't think too much about it.

(For the record, it we had a good Christmas though I was disappointed that we didn't get a chance to catch up with L and her family that day.)

Unfortunately, things have gone all to hell since then. Friday night, my oldest sister (the niece's mother) was killed in a car wreck. We don't know all the details, but she was on her way home from work and had just gotten on the interstate when her car hit the guardrail, flipped over through the median, and crossed into on-coming traffic. Her car was struck by another car, and that driver got out and attempted to warn off a truck that was coming towards them, but that truck struck her car as well. The coroner thinks that she probably died on the initial impact of the car flipping, even before the first car struck her, when her head hit the roof (she wasn't wearing a seat belt.)

My mother is in her mid 70s and is beside herself; you aren't supposed to bury your children. The niece (the one who's staying with us) is handling things pretty well for a 22 year-old who's never had to deal with a close family member's death, but it's starting to wear on her. Both of her older brothers are in jail (long stories short, they were both stupid and got caught, and are paying for it) and her younger sister (half-sister, really) is just 13 and is an emotional wreck.

My sister's current husband (the younger niece's father) is a good man for the most part, but not particularly bright under the best of circumstances, and he doesn't know what to do at this point. He hasn't had a steady job in years, and they really don't have much more than the trailer they live in. My parents are going to pay for the funeral, and the wife and I will do everything we can to help, though it isn't going to be much.

L is sad for us and our loss, of course. It's also a loss for her because she's her sister too, though they never met face-to-face. I'd always held out hope that the older sister would have a change of heart and agree to meet L; unfortunately that can't happen now. The middle sister is going to come into town for the service, of course, and I really want to try to get her to meet L. I doubt it will happen, though. The middle sister was always non-receptive to the whole idea of L being any relation to us, and at this point I don't know if L would even want to meet her. She's understandably angry with both of them for rejecting her for no reason other than circumstances she had no control over. But we'll see.

I'll write more about my older sister later, when I have more time.

10 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry for your loss, Rob. That's really awful. I am sure your sister's children will have a very tough time for quite a while. It's good they have loving relatives like you to help. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you go through this. What a hellacious punctuation mark for the holiday season.

    Peace <3
    Jay

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  2. Oh hun I'm so sorry for your loss. Big hugs and kisses, baby.

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  3. My deepest condolences Rob. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.

    Remember to let it out... vent, tell stories, hug people. This is a time to lean on each other, and us if you need us.

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  4. Very sad. My thoughts are with you and your family. ♡♡♡♡♡♡

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  5. My wife and I send our deepest condolences for the loss of your sister.
    If one good thing can happen out off this unfortunate event, is by bringing your family closer together, including "L", and if so, then at least that is something good.

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  6. What a tragic loss, especially during the holidays. Our hearts go out to you and your family, and your Mother. May the spirit of this season give some peace at this moment of great loss.

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  7. What a tragic situation. I'm really sorry that your family is going through this.

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  8. Thank you all for your messages and emails; I really appreciate it. I'd love to pass on your well-wishes to the family but that could open up a whole line of questions I'd rather avoid.

    I'll write more when I have time and can order my thoughts.

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  9. I am so sorry for your loss, for the difficulties ahead.

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