Thursday, August 8, 2013

What the L - Postscript

Enough people have asked for an explanation of when the wife caught L and I kissing and how I was able to BS my way out of it that I decided to write a separate post explaining it. Okay, only one person has asked (so far), but that’s enough for me.

The Saturday before Super Bowl Sunday, the wife and I drove down to see L and B. We intended to make it just a day trip only, so we didn’t have any of our normal over-night stuff with us. L and I had been really flirty the day before in email, so being near each other was filling us both with sexual tension. But what could we do? We’d be on the road back home soon.

We went to a Mexican joint for dinner with them, and while there I had a beer or three more than I’d planned and was getting a pretty good buzz. We were all laughing and kidding around, and B was teasing the wife like he always does. I know the wife has a sort of “big brother” crush on B (even though he’s younger than she is), and she eats up the attention he pays her. This night was no exception.

I’m almost positive that L was the first to ask if we were sure we didn’t want to stay. Of course I wanted to, just to have a chance to be alone with her, but the wife pointed out we didn’t have our stuff with us. B said we should anyway; just get whatever we need at Wal-Mart. We already had an overnight toiletries kit there, so we’d just need shirts and underthings for the next day. The wife said no, so B motioned for me to switch seats with him so he could sit beside her (which left me sitting beside L.) He hugged on her and teased her about us staying and got her giggling until she finally relented and said we could.

She and L drove in our vehicle to Wal-Mart while B and I drove in his truck to pick up some alcohol the wife liked a lot that we only knew of being at one place. B and I got to the house first, lit a fire outside in their fire pit, and stood out drinking and talking until the girls got there. I’d lit a cigar and figured we’d all be out there for a while, but it was kind of chilly. The girls came out to the fire for a few minutes (after taking the stuff the wife bought inside), but everyone agreed it was too cold, even with the fire, and wanted to go in.

I said I’d come in after I finished my cigar, so the three of them walked to the house. On the way, L stopped and said she’d stay out with me to keep me company, so the wife and B went in. L came back by the fire and we grinned at each other, knowing what was on both of our minds. But where we were was easily visible from the kitchen window, so we couldn’t really safely do anything. She led me over to the side of the house where we couldn’t be seen, and where we’d hear someone (probably) if they came out.

We were both buzzing, but not truly drunk, so we were cautious. We’d kiss and touch, but we didn’t take any stupid chances. We heard the front door open so we broke apart and composed ourselves quickly and moved towards that corner like we were just on our way in. It’s a good thing too, because it was the wife coming out to tell us to come in.

Later, B said he was done and was going to bed. The wife and I set up the blowup mattress they kept on hand and started putting air in it. The wife said she’d take care of it, so I went back in the living room with L. We sneaked a few kisses in, but that was it.

The wife came out and we continued talking, laughing, and mostly drinking. I got hammered, and L did too, but the wife stayed relatively sober, slowly sipping her drink. Around midnight we decided we needed a snack run (which was a pretty common thing for us to do) but I don’t have a good memory of it. The wife drove, L’s daughter and a friend of hers rode up front, and L and I sat in the back sneakily holding hands and playing footsie. L later told me I was staggering all around the convenience store we went in, and that she was feeding me ice cream when we were back in the car on the way home.

Not long after getting back from the snack run, we were all winding down and talking about going to bed. The wife went into the bathroom, and L and I stood behind a partition between the living room and the kitchen (where the wife wouldn’t see us when she came out) and started making out again. I actually had my hand down her pants, playing with her pussy and clit, knowing that I’d hear the wife when she came out of the bathroom. Of course the fact that their bedroom door was right beside us, and if B came out we’d be busted, went completely unnoticed.

I’d just taken my hand out of her pants and broke the kiss (we were standing very intimately, forehead to forehead) when I heard the wife behind me say “What the heck*?!” L broke away from me and said “Bed time!” and went into their room quick. I turned towards the wife as nonchalantly as I could and said “What’s up baby?”

“What were you doing?” she asked, angrily.

“Nothing, baby. We were just saying good night.” I could tell she was mad, but more incredulous and confused than anything. My head felt like cotton, and I was having a hard time dealing with anything involving higher thinking skills.

“Something was going on. We’ll talk about it in the morning when you aren’t drunk!”

I knew I wasn’t going to get much sleep, being worried about this. I passed out and the next thing I knew it was 6:00 in the morning. The wife and B were laughing about something on her phone, and it turned out that she had been recording my snoring. (I was legendary even in the Army with my snoring, if I haven’t mentioned that before.) She was laughing and sounded pretty normal, so I started thinking I might have a chance to get out of this one.

I was just sitting up when B went back into their bedroom and shut the door. “Ha ha,” I said to her groggily. “Rob snores, what a surprise.” I was trying to sound as hung-over and pitiful as I could, and it wasn’t taking much acting on my part.

“Oh, but it was bad last night!” she said, laughing. She played the recording for me, and I laughed dutifully though I wasn’t paying much attention. I went into the bathroom and took care of business, then came back out and sat at the kitchen bar with her.

“What was going on last night between you and sissy?” she asked.

“Baby, I really don’t know what you mean.”

“You two were hiding behind that wall, like you didn’t want me to see. It looked like you were making out!”

“Honey, seriously, that’s not even funny!” I said. “She said she was going to bed, so I got up to say goodnight. We hugged like we always do, then she went to their room.” I was trying not to add any details at this time, though a whole slew of ideas were running through my head. But I couldn’t throw any of them out there until I had a chance to talk with L and make sure she didn’t contradict me.

“That’s not what it looked like to me, and I wasn’t drunk last night!” she said, though she didn’t sound as certain as earlier.

“Well, what did it look like? What do you think you saw?” I knew my back had been to her, and that we hadn’t actually been kissing at that very moment. What I didn’t know was how long she’d been watching, because had been literally no more than 7 or 8 seconds from when I took my hands out of L’s pants and I heard “What the heck*?!”

“I don’t know,” she said, but I could tell she definitely doubted herself. “It just looked weird.” Right then we heard someone moving around in L’s bedroom, so the wife said “Okay, sissy and I will go pick up breakfast and I’ll ask her about it,” and got up to go to the bathroom. L opened their bedroom door, saying something to B, and came out into the kitchen. She looked around the partition to see if the wife was there, then looked at me and raised her eyebrows questioningly.

Very slowly and quietly I mouthed “It’s okay, but you don’t remember anything.” She nodded, and went about making coffee. The wife came out and said good morning to L, who said it back, both acting like nothing had happened. The wife suggested they go pick us all up some breakfast, and L casually agreed. They got everyone’s order, and on their way out the door, L looked back at me and made a comically worried face.

I fretted about how the conversation would go, but knew there was nothing I could do about it. As long as L stayed with the “don’t remember much” story, we’d be fine. About 45 minutes later they came home, and walking through the door they were laughing about something. I breathed a lot easier after that. The next time the wife and I were alone for a bit, she said “I didn’t say anything; I just let it go.” We got through the rest of the morning without incident, then the wife and I got on the road to head home.

I really expected her to say something during the drive, but she didn’t, and has never brought it up (not directly, anyway) again. I guess she figured there was no way she could have seen what she thought she had, since L and I are siblings. We wound up going right back down a few hours later because L was a little upset about nobody showing up for her big Super Bowl Party.

The only stipulation the wife made to our going back there: that I not drink anything.

*By the way, if you’re thinking “heck” isn’t the word most people would use and I’m cleaning up what the wife said for some reason, I assure you I’m not. As a non-native English speaker, the wife makes some really funny distinctions about what she’ll say. In her mind, “what the heck” is as strongly worded as “what the hell” or “what the fuck.” And it’s really funny to hear her say “That dumb mother fucker, what a crap head!”

3 comments:

  1. Damn, you dodged a serious bullet. Buy a lottery ticket, you're a lucky bastard!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Deny, deny, deny! Is always much better than "it wasn't me" as a strategy.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't know how I missed this one.....lucky, lucky, lucky rob. xo

    ReplyDelete