Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Getting Caught


"I'm sorry."

What else could I say? The wife was looking at me, disbelief and pain in her eyes, and crying. "You were cheating on me?" she asked, incredulously, her voice raw with emotion. It was a rhetorical question, of course. I couldn't very well deny it; she'd seen us lying naked in bed, spooning.

I'd already fucked Julie once and I was just thinking I might be able to go again in a few minutes with a little foreplay when I heard something and looked up. The wife was standing in the door way, and the icy cold dread immediately ran up my spine. Before I could say anything she said "Thanks" in a flat voice that scared me, then turned and ran out of our apartment.

Julie and I got dressed quickly and I walked her out to her car. She said "I knew this was a bad idea, meeting at your place." I almost replied with "Well why the fuck didn't you tell me that?!" but didn't. This wasn't Julie's fault; I was the one cheating, and I did so willingly.

"Yea, sorry I put you in this spot. But look, it was fun but this is over." For some reason I thought it was necessary to spell that out, but it really wasn't. I didn't care much for Julie, but she wasn't dumb.

I left the apartment complex, but as soon as I got on the road towards the wife's work, I saw her car speeding in the opposite direction, heading back home. She saw me and pulled into a parking lot while I u-turned and pulled up beside her. We got out of the car, and now I'm back to the beginning.

"Who was it?" she asked. And here I could have made the next three months or so much simpler for everyone if I'd just been quick enough with a lie. She didn't see enough of Julie to recognize her, so I could have told her anyone. But for some reason, I told her.

"Julie," I said, "one of the girls at work." Of course the wife knew who that was. She'd seen everyone I worked with every Friday night when we'd have pizza waiting for us coming in to count in our sales. The wife came because she liked the atmosphere, and the free pizza. There were only two women in the office, and she would gravitate to the both of them while the guys got rowdy and a little crude.

As I said earlier, I didn't really care much for Julie. She wasn't a very nice person, and though she was pretty and had some nice curves, she wasn't hot enough to make up for her personality shortcomings. Also, she had that fake toughness that some people get when they know the people around them are too civilized to punch her when she really, really deserved it. She'd laugh about how she "told that motherfucker to suck my dick, and he just took it! Pussy!" and seriously believe it was because the guy was afraid of her and not just too worried about going to jail to lay her out. Plus, I hate it when a girl says "suck my dick." It's just so fucking stupid!

So why was I fucking her, and causing all this pain for the wife? Because she let me the night that she and I, along with the boss and another woman from the office, went to Louisville KY. And she told me I was one of the hottest guys at work (in an office with about 20 other guys.) As much as I don't believe it when people tell me things like that, I still eat it up. I wouldn't do it now if I had the chance. If I'm going to cheat on my wife now, the person doesn't have to be great looking, or even good looking, but they have to have a good personality. And feeding my ego helps.

One other thing I sometimes think I missed a chance on was when the wife said "I want to go home!" We were in a public parking lot, and it was cold, so I said "Yes, let's go home and talk." She almost said something else, but then said "okay," and got in her car. I knew at the time that she meant she wanted to go home to her mother and family in Germany, but played it off like I didn't understand it that way. I didn't feel then the way about being married that I do now, but how much better would it have been for both of us if I'd had the foresight to know that my cheating (this was actually the second woman I'd cheated on the wife with in as many years) was a symptom of my wanting out? It would have hurt her, and me, but it would have happened after 5 years of marriage when we were both still relatively young. And it would be 15 years in the past now.

Back at the apartment we talked and cried, I assured her (honestly) that I love her and didn't love Julie, that it was just meaningless sex, and told her I'd do anything for her to forgive me even though I didn't deserve it. Eventually we both had to get to work (though my day was fucked as far as sales were concerned) and she said we'd talk that night.

And we did talk that night. And we drank; oh BOY did we drink! Back then I rarely had more than a beer at a time, but I keep some good gin in the freezer just for those times when I felt like having a small drink. That night we killed what was an almost full liter bottle of Beefeater's. Nowadays that would give me a little buzz, but back then that was enough to fuck me up pretty good. And it fucked the wife up pretty good too, which was what she was looking for.

The one lie I did tell the wife, as she asked me about the affair, was when she asked if Julie had given me a blow-job. I immediately calculated the chances of ever getting head from the wife again at about zero if I told her the truth, so I said "No, she can't stand to do that and refused to." (The truth is, Julie was pretty damned good at giving head, and let me cum in her mouth twice and swallowed! In the four times she and I had gotten together, that was already once more than the wife had managed in five years.) I stand by my decision to tell her that lie, and don't regret it a bit.

When we went to bed, the wife turned her back to me. I was close to her, but not touching, when we fell asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night to pee and when I got back in bed I got a little closer, and put my hand on her hip. She took my hand and placed it on her breast, then turned towards me for a kiss. We made out a while, then she grabbed my dick and pulled me to her. I rolled onto her, then into her, and we made love while we cried. When it was over, we snuggled and went back to sleep without ever having said a word.

I don't know if she came or not, and I don't even remember if I did, but that wasn't really the point. She was marking her territory, as it were, and I was letting her. I remember thinking to myself that I would never hurt her like that again. I justify the later flings (and the ones I hope to have in the future) by saying it won't hurt her as long as she doesn't find out; I'll be more careful and not get caught.

I worked there with Julie another three months before deciding I just don't have what it takes to be in sales. The wife still came by on Friday's for pizza night, and stopped in at other times as well unannounced. I got it, Julie got it, and she knew we got it and didn't care. She could have insisted that I leave the job, and I wouldn't have objected that much as I already knew I would be leaving soon, but she didn't. I had one conversation with Julie about the situation, telling her that the wife was mad but wouldn't cause trouble as long as nothing happened. We agreed to keep conversations professional only from then on, and we stuck to it. Like I said, I didn't really like her that much to begin with, so it wasn't hard to do. 

When I finally left, I think the wife and Julie both sighed in relief.

12 comments:

  1. Over my years of being unfaithful - never intercourse unfaithful, but technically doing things my wife would freak out about - only once was I bold enough to bring someone into our own bed. And it was a guy.

    I think if it were my wife, she would have found the nearest baseball bat and beat the living shit out of your co-worker. At least your wife was able to get over it.

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    1. I wouldn't say she got over it exactly. I think it's at least part of why there's a lack of intimacy on her part. Plus she'll throw it in my face at random times.

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  2. I found out that one of my staff spent the night with my second husband while i was out of town once. I had to work with her 2 days after I found out. Somehow I kept my calm as I blamed my husband not her.
    I could of fired her but I did not, my husband said he was sorry, i forgave and then a year later he walked out anyway. For some reason, he is the only relationship I ever had that I didn't cheat on. I don't understand that at all, especially since he cheated.

    With my first husband, I slept with his brother in our bed! lol fucker so deserved it! I still laugh about that one ;)

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    1. The wife was so much angrier at Julie than at me, which I didn't understand. Julie was just getting some action; I was the one who broke the trust and cheated. I get it now, but back then it really confused me.

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    2. She is the dumb blonde that people write the jokes from. She actually was very book smart (she is a nurse) but had no common sense. I always blamed him for it. He didn't even like her but he was drunk and she had big boobs and was bisexual (I wasn't at the time, lol)

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  3. One of those stories that I feel weird for "liking", but you know what I mean... a sad story but you told it well.

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  4. Wow, gutsy to bring her to your home. Walking in on you? God, that had to be horrible, it's one of my worst fears, walking in on my husband with another woman. I've no idea if he's ever cheated...I've worried about it tho. He's been on so many business trips over the years, usually overseas. I'd never know about it if he did. I often wonder how many men actually stray in their marriage versus the women.
    I find the fact that you didn't even really like her very interesting. I wish you'd explain that more. Perhaps that's a guys thing. If I were to cheat, I'd have to like the guy...A LOT. But that's me.
    Thanks for being so incredibly honest Rob.
    ;)
    mg

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    1. That was one of only two times that I had sex with a girl I didn't like, and I won't do it again. That was more about opportunity than anything else. And I'd never have someone in our bed again unless the wife were out of town.

      What is your biggest fear in regards to your husband cheating? Is it that he might leave you for the other woman? If you knew beyond doubt that he would never leave you, and that it was something he needed to be happy (just as he needs you to ve happy) would you allow him to stray?

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    2. We have both discussed opening our relationship. So it's on the table so to speak. I'm not sure how much of my blog you have read, but I discuss parts of our dynamic so to speak. I had a Dom for awhile with my husbands consent.
      But we have a very active sex life... I guess I'd wonder why he felt the need to stray and what there was I wasn't giving him.

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    3. What wasn't he giving you that you wanted a Dom? Obviously that was fulfilling a need or desire that he wasn't able to. Was there any danger at all that you would have left your husband for the Dom?

      I guess my point is that I don't understand what people fear from their partners "cheating." If your SO would leave you for their side action, they likely would leave you eventually even if they aren't getting any. If something is missing for them, wouldn't you rather they were able to get it and be happy?

      And in my case, relieving some of the monotany of marriage with a daliance here and there makes it more likely I won't leave her.

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    4. Oh and I have been reading through your past posts but I haven't gotten very far. There are so many blogs I'm trying to catch up to.

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