Joke of the Week

I'm a little late (a day) on getting the Joke of the Week up because I was off work yesterday and was getting ready for a trip out of town the wife and I are going on this weekend. I'll update sometime Monday afternoon when we get back, or Tuesday morning.

I read the bones of this joke last night in one of Terry Pratchett's Discworld books, and I'm fleshing it out here a little to give it context.

A farmer was walking his milk cow back from market when it fell ill; it simply lay down in the road and wouldn't move. The farmer was beside himself, because the cow was not only his sole source of income (meager as it was) but had been around so long she was almost like part of the family.

There was no veterinarian in the village, but there was a witch, and she was known to be a fair healer when the mood struck her. She could also be a fair terror when the mood struck her, and it seemed to the farmer there were more of the latter moods striking her than the former. Still, he had no choice, so reluctantly he made the trip to the witch's cottage.

The woods were dark and eerie as he approached and nervously raised his hand to bang on the door. Before he could the door was flung open, and the witch was there scowling at him.

"I know why you're here, Zeke," the witch cackled. "Your Bessie is gone up sick, ain't she?"

"Y..yes, Grannie," stammered Zeke. "I was hoping..."

"I have just the thing," she said, her scowl softening. "Wait here." She closed the door and a few minutes later opened it again and handed him two large, orange pills.

"Get behind Bessie," she ordered, "and lift her tail. Then stick one of these pills where the sun don't shine. In a minute she'll be up and running, right enough. She'll run all night, I s'spect."

"Thank you, Grannie," Zeke beamed. "But what's the other pill for?"

"I reckon you'll want to catch her, won't you?"