Word Length = 9 inches (LOL)
Word Count = 200
Forbidden Words = Cock, Penis, Schlong, Tower of Power
Required Words = Tentiginous, & Anticipation
Bonus Words = See Comment section below ((Birthdate + age)/3)+15
(Ladies) Tell us about your biggest(Men) Admit one insecurity
Extra Credit = How long has he been like that and did others see him?
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Abbey
smiled at the dapper, elderly gentleman who entered the clinic. His suit
was of an older style, but immaculately kept. She gave him a quick
once-over, approving of the cut and the way it flattered him, when she
noticed IT. She knew her experience with such things
paled in comparison to Melissa’s, in accounting, but she was fairly
certain the old man was sporting more wood than a minor league baseball
team.
Without
preamble, the gentleman walked up to her counter, unzipped, and pulled
out what was easily nine inches of tentiginous manhood. “Miss, can you
take a look at this for me?”
Trying
her best to maintain her professionalism, and not to let her
anticipation show, Abbey composed herself as best she could. She fought
the urge to reach out and touch it, just to verify that it was real. If Jim were anywhere near this big, she thought, I wouldn’t have to use my “black” dildo every night!
“Well, Miss?” the gentleman urged. “What do you think?”
“I’m
sorry…” Abbey’s voice cracked with embarrassment, both for herself and
the poor, confused man. “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not a doctor, or even a
nurse. I’m just the receptionist at the clinic.”
“I know that,” the man replied, smiling.
“Oh,” she answered, confused. “Well, then why are you showing me this?”
“This hasn’t happened to me in 20 years,” he winked. “Hell, I’m showing everybody!”
Word count: 237
At
the time of this writing, Advizor had not specified how many bonus
words we’d get so I made a command decision that it would be 37.
Therefore, I nailed it right on the head!
Update: Hell, it's even better than I thought! After I wrote the story and chose my own bonus word amount, Advizor gave us the formula ((date + age)) / 3) + 15. I was born on the 17, I'm 48, which gives 65. Divided by 3 equals 21.666, add 15 for 36.666, or round up to 37. God DAMN I'm good sometimes!
Now
to earn those bonus words: Technically, I could tell about the biggest
I’ve had as well as any woman could, but I’ll play by the rules and
admit one insecurity. One insecurity? Hell, pull up a chair and I can
keep you here all day.
I’m
too fat, I’m not good looking enough, I don’t earn enough money, I’m
not smart enough, I’m not talented enough, and though I’m technically
bigger than average, I’m sure that my own cock, penis, schlong, Tower of
Power, isn’t enough to satisfy.
And now I’m worried that my insecurities aren’t as good as other men’s are.
Get over to Advizor's site to read the good entries.
Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteLOL! Loved this! And dont be so hard on yourself!
ReplyDeleteHeh hehe heh heh... you said "hard on." ;-)
DeleteI like that last insecurity, I'm definitely with you there. :)
ReplyDeleteReminds me of a dirty joke my dad used to tell. But it's in poor taste (yours is not), so I'll refrain from telling to keep from offending anybody.
ReplyDeleteI like jokes that are in poor taste (obviously)! Go ahead and tell it!
DeleteI literally laughed out loud to this!
ReplyDeleteI know the joke you are thinking of Silly, but I want to hear your version.....
ReplyDeleteGreat take on the picture and very funny. Well done and thanks!!!
I laughed at this one too :)
ReplyDeletei laughed so much at this; I hope I am like this when I am old and gray!
ReplyDeleteThis take was so much fun! Thanks for that! Happy FFF!
ReplyDelete