Thursday, September 19, 2013

Am I a Dick?

I’m probably a dick. I mean, I’m sure you’ve figured that out by now anyway, but specifically today I’m probably a dick. I went to a local deli to pick up a cake we’d ordered for a get outta here going away party for one of the guys who’s transferring to Houston.

Aside: I’m jealous because I often fantasize about transferring to Houston or Louisiana through my job. The problem is, my position isn’t that hard to find people for, so any openings that come up in those locations can be filled by people there just as easily. Also, the whole point would be to go alone, and I’m pretty sure the wife would insist on going with. So why bother, right?

Anyway, they brought the cake and I whipped out my credit card to pay. When she gave me the receipt to sign, there was a line for a tip. This isn’t a restaurant, mind you, where you sit down and are waited on by a server. You stand in line, ask for what you want, pay for it, and take it to your table if you chose to dine in. I doubt anybody working there is getting paid less than minimum wage, and this was no different than a transaction that I would do at a bakery. So I left the tip line blank and wrote in the total at the bottom.

As I handed the receipt back to the girl at the register, I asked for a couple of the cookies they had on display. I paid for those with cash, and as she handed back my change I noticed a tip jar which I hadn’t seen before. I thanked her, put my change in my pocket, and left.

So I’m probably a dick because I didn’t leave a tip when I had two opportunities to do so. But you know what? I’m kind of tired of all the tip jars I see anymore! Tips have traditionally (in ass-backwards America, anyway) been for servers who work for two-something an hour, take your order and bring you drinks, etc. They were never meant for just anybody who happens to be working a cash register.

Tipping is a ridiculous custom anyway. Oh, sure, I tip; I’m an over-tipper in fact. But you go to Germany, and tipping as we know it in America is unheard of. Servers get paid a reasonable wage for their work from their employer, and the customers aren’t expected to subsidy their pay on top of paying for their food.

I gave up arguing for the same kind of system in America, though, when a buddy of mine pointed out that the tipping mentality is so ingrained in our society that if servers made $15 an hour, they’d still feel slighted if they didn’t get an additional %18 to %22 of the bill. It’s hard to argue with that.

But, man o man, everywhere you go these days there’s a tip jar! More and more people who are in some way involved in giving you food have their hands out looking for that extra bump, and I’m tired of it. I won’t be at all surprised (though of course I’ll bitch about it) when we start seeing tip jars in fast food restaurants and at the end of checkout lines in the grocery store! (A quick google search indicates that is already going on in some areas. I’d link to it but it’s harder to do from my phone than it should be.)

So I’m a dick, right? I’m probably a dick.

9 comments:

  1. not at all...at a bakery for christs sake? ridiculous.
    I'm a habitual over tipper, because I waited tables/bartended thru college....however I don't tip everywhere I see a tip jar!
    and I wouldn't have left a tip either at the bakery.
    xo,
    monkey girl

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  2. You probably are a dick, but you're right about the tipping! :) Just kidding. I think it would be nice if restaurants paid people a real salary instead of counting on customers to bring them up to a decent wage. I dunno, I'm sure someone has tried a "no tipping" restaurant that charges slightly higher for the food, and maybe it didn't work. But the idea of tipping is that it will make the person work harder... and then it becomes pretty much mandatory... so where is the incentive to work harder?

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    1. Oh I read some ridiculous article that lectured "you always tip, at least 18%, even if the service is bad!" Bullshit! I, like Monkey Girl, am a notorious over tipper, but only if the service is adequate. But if it doeant reach that level, the amount gets less and less (though I never blame the server for the quality of the food.) Its rare that I don't leave any tip at, but it has happened because of totally unacceptable behavior.

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  3. I am an over tipper as well.
    Especially when I visit my favorite coffee shop, where the young ladies serving the coffee, muffins, and other assorted eats are so friendly, and helpful.
    However, i am a bit of a pervert as well when it comes to the young ladies behind the counter.
    If they are wearing a nice low cut top, or a loose fitting top, I always ask for an item at the bottom of the display case.
    When they bend over to get the item, I usually get a nice peek down their top.
    If i get a nice view of their bra, or even better, a large portion of their breast, I always leave an extra amount, just for the peek.
    But then again, whenever I order just coffee, I always leave a bit of a tip, usually about 50 cents to a dollar, depending on my change.
    Going to a restaurant or other eating or food serving places it is another story.
    If the service is good, always a tip, if it is bad, no tip.
    Simple as that.
    Even with the wife being there with me, and she works in the service industry too, it is usually a battle with her if I don't leave a tip, or not enough when I do.
    My argument is the same.
    If they pay a fair and decent wage, there should be no need for tips, but I don't think that the server should get all the v
    credit for the meal.
    After all, the cook makes or breaks the meal if the food is great.
    Most times the cooking staff get nothing from the tips, and they are not making mush more than the server staff.
    Getting a shitty meal with great service does not automatically warrant a good tip.
    Both have to be good to earn my hard earned cash if a good tip is to be left.
    Take out is another story.
    Why tip them or bringing your order to the counter to pay for it?
    Different if it is delivered, as the delivery people get paid crappy wages, pay their own fuel bill, maintenance etc., so I tip them a lot better, because they have more expenses, as well as having to deal with the public at their doors.

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    1. The only thing I disagree about, Onan, is tipping when the food us bad but the service is good. Around here, the servers have to tip out the bar, the hostesses, and the cooks, at least a few oercent for each. So that means a good tip for a bad meal may unfairly give the cook money, but a bad tip screws the server twice and still rewards an undeserving cook.

      The exception I make, but not too harshly, is presentation. If the wife says no tomato and the server brings the meal with tomato, then he failed if the tomato is readily visible. He is the last line of quality control and is as responsible as the cook. But I'll generally overlook evwn that if the service is otherwise good.

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    2. When they bend over to get the item, I usually get a nice peek down their top.
      If i get a nice view of their bra, or even better, a large portion of their breast, I always leave an extra amount, just for the peek.


      If ever there was a valid reason for a larger than normal tip, this is it!

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  4. I am in agreement with the general tone of all the comments. But I have to warn you, living in a place that is a hub of tip-culture, I have heard some horror stories of what happens "behind the scenes" if a bad tip is suspected. The will curl your toes, and not in a good way.

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    1. I read an article somewhere by a guy who says he and his friends always tell the waiter up front, "No matter what the bill comes to, we intend to tip $x"... $10 or $20 or whatever would be a pretty good, say 25% tip, for what you expect the bill to be. That way you figure 1) the waiter won't steer you toward the overpriced shit because he no longer has the incentive to run up your bill and 2) he'll actually take care of you because he knows you're making it worth his time.

      I dunno if it works but it makes sense.

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  5. I, too worked in the service industry for a number of years so I tend to tip well. If I receive bad service, I write a note on the bottom of the receipt and ask for the manager to either call or email me to discuss my concerns. If they don't call, that business is off my list. I also leave a nice tip but not on an expensive bottle of wine.
    BlkJack

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