Joke of the Week

A young man named Alan received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. Alan tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary. But to no avail; the bird was just and rude and profane as ever.

Finally, Alan was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. Alan shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. Alan, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, Alan quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Alan's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour."

Alan was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "By the way, may I ask what the turkey did?"

As a bonus, here's another quick joke.

My wife was kidnapped by a gang of mimes. They did unspeakable things to her!