I Probably Worry too Much.

I did something that I didn’t think I’d ever do. James has done it, and if I remember correctly he often thinks it was a mistake afterwards. That’s one of the reasons I thought I’d never do it. However, James also talks about how it’s scary, but also a little liberating to do it, and that’s why I ultimately did it as well.

So what did I do? I invited a friend to my blog. Yes, someone I know in real life to read my blog. And not just any someone; this is a guy I’ve known since elementary school and have been good friends with for years. In fact, he was the first person I ever told about L, and he knows all of the ups and downs of that relationship.

But he doesn’t (or didn’t) know the other thing… my “curious” nature. I invited him because I wanted him to read a specific article (“I’m not a Poly-Sci Major”) and comment on it. I could have emailed him the text and we could have discussed it among ourselves, but I thought others might like to see the interaction.

Plus, let’s face it; I wanted at least one “real life” person to know about me. (Simplicity is different because she knew about me from the blog before we met in real life.) Of all the people I know in real life, he’s the only person I trust with this information. I wouldn’t even want T to read this blog, even though he knows about my desires, because of all the other things he’d find out. My friend knows about everything else already (I think) just not the bi side and it felt easier to just point him at the blog than to come out and tell him.

I did warn him first, though. Nothing specific, I just told him that once he was done with that article, he might be tempted to read some of the others. I told him I was fine with that, but once he read them he wouldn’t be able to unread them. He commented on the article, so I know he read that one at least. And because I access my own site primarily through my phone, I didn’t think to warn him of the dick picture I have on the site. Oops.

Even if he hasn’t read the other articles, the name of my blog (CuriourRob) and the tag-line (“A (slightly less) sexually curious straight man”) along with all my warnings should be enough to give him a pretty good idea of the one thing he didn’t know about. I trust him that he wouldn’t tell anyone else, including his wife, about whatever he would learn here, but it’s still a little scary to think he now knows.

So far he’s commented on the article and I replied to his comments. I sent him a text this morning saying nobody else had jumped in, but the article as a whole has gotten decent views. He said he was working on a reply to my reply, but life got in the way. I asked him if he had any comments on the blog in general, but he never answered.

I don’t really care (beyond my normal desire for praise) what he thinks of the blog. I just want to know what he thinks about my being (kind of) bi. I guess I just want his assurance that he can understand and accept that about me and it not have an adverse impact on our friendship. I know he’s not homophobic, but I am worried that it has at least made him uncomfortable since he didn’t reply to my question.