Vacation Trip (Expanded)

We left for Pigeon Forge, TN on Saturday morning; we wanted to go on Friday, but the wife couldn’t get the day off. As it happens, it’s probably a good thing because we would have spent another night in a terrible hotel. We did have a really good time on the trip, but this was truly one of the worst hotel experiences I’ve had. And it’s not just me being negative; I talked to a few of my fellow lodgers and all of them had the same problems we did. I made the mistake of booking a room based solely on price and didn’t read the reviews that would have steered me away from it.

(I won’t go into the details about how bad the hotel was, but if you’re going to make a trip to PF in the near future and want a full review, email me privately.)

I won’t go into a detailed account of the whole trip (I started to, but it was getting boring even to me) but I do want to hit some of the highlights. There wasn’t a lot of traffic on the interstate, but we did pass the occasional truck. I jokingly dared the wife to flash a trucker as we drove by, and (as I expected) she flat out said ‘No!’ A few minutes later as we approached another truck, I again dared her to flash the driver, saying that he’d been on the road a long time and would appreciate a little something to get his blood going.

Of course she said ‘no’ again, but she kind of laughed and didn’t act annoyed by me asking so I figured I could get away with it a little longer. As we drove I told her (quite honestly) that I liked the thought of showing her off to others. I didn’t say that I also like the thought of her loosening up a little and getting a little wild (but in a safe way) but that’s the biggest draw for me.

As we approached the next truck, I again suggested flashing the driver, and this time she said “What do I get for it?” I offered to let her get a box of baseball cards she gets every once in a while (they’re $20) and she said she’d have to get at least two boxes. We started negotiating and continued even after passing the truck in question (I figured there would be a lot more so didn’t panic.) I was so horny just at the fact that she was negotiating! (The truth is, and I think she knows this, as long as we have the money she can get baseball cards pretty much whenever she wants.)

We passed two more trucks while we talked about what she would get if she flashed them, and I was getting more and more excited. Finally, when no other vehicle was near, she said “I’ll flash you, but not anybody else.” And with that, she pulled up her shirt and bra and let me play with them for a few seconds. Her nipples were pretty hard, so I think the idea excited her too.

We finally got to the room and settled back to relax before heading out to a ball game. I thought I’d take a nap, but the wife subtly let me know she had other ideas by pulling down my underwear and taking me in her mouth. I was still horny from earlier, and within just a few seconds I was rock hard! I told her I was close and wanted to fuck, but she kept sucking and licking me. She had a towel at the ready, so I expected her to bring me to the edge then catch my cum in it, but when I groaned she kept going and allowed me the rare “cum in mouth” experience!

Later, we went to the ballgame and had a pretty good time. She got all the autographs she needed and it was her suggestion to leave early (about 8) so we could get some dinner. By the time we got back to the room, we were both tired and a little buzzed (she had a drink at dinner, and we picked up some beer to have in the room) so we fell asleep.

Sunday we were planning to go to Dollywood, the big theme park they have there. However, we decided Saturday night to save the money we’d spend there and see some of the other sites. We definitely made the right decision, because we spent the day in Gatlinburg without being on any particular schedule. We took advantage of the “park and ride” so that we wouldn’t have to fight for parking, and so that we could both enjoy the wine and moonshine tasting. Between the tastings and having a daiquiri at lunch, we kept a good buzz going for most of the day as we walked and shopped but it still had worn off by the time we got back to the car that afternoon.

We went to the hotel to unwind a bit, and I thought we’d have sex but we were both too worn out. We had a short nap before heading out to see some more of the PF sites and grab a late dinner. We planned to get an early start home the next day because our local baseball team had a day game she wanted to go to, so we went back to the hotel relatively early (around 10:30.) She was asleep by 11:00, and I stayed up reading for another 20 minutes or so.

We were on the road by 7 a.m. Monday, and got ahead of all the traffic heading out. Once on the interstate, I brought up the idea of flashing a trucker again, and again we talked about what she would get for it. We never reached an actual agreement, so I let the matter drop. We passed a few trucks, and each time as we approached I was hoping she’d just say “fuck it” and whip them out. I think she knew this, because each time she’d shift around or make some kind of movement, but she never did anything.

Finally, again when there weren’t any other vehicles near, she flashed me and let me play with her boobs a few seconds before putting them away. She repeated what she’d said Saturday, that she would flash me but not anybody else. Knowing the kind of person she is, and how shy she can be, I doubt it would ever happen. But I’ll keep asking on longish trips when we’re well away from home, and maybe someday she’ll surprise me.

So  we had a good vacation, and a great time together. When we were at lunch on Sunday I said something sweet and loving about spending time with her, and she cried a little (keep in mind we were both rocking a good buzz at this point, though.) We ate too much, and spent too much money, but it was worth it and hopefully we can do it again soon.

Weekend Update (Short Version)

We're back safe and sound. We had a really good trip to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee; we left early Saturday morning and got back yesterday around 10:30 a.m.

I'll fill in more details later.

Joke of the Week

I'm a little late (a day) on getting the Joke of the Week up because I was off work yesterday and was getting ready for a trip out of town the wife and I are going on this weekend. I'll update sometime Monday afternoon when we get back, or Tuesday morning.

I read the bones of this joke last night in one of Terry Pratchett's Discworld books, and I'm fleshing it out here a little to give it context.

A farmer was walking his milk cow back from market when it fell ill; it simply lay down in the road and wouldn't move. The farmer was beside himself, because the cow was not only his sole source of income (meager as it was) but had been around so long she was almost like part of the family.

There was no veterinarian in the village, but there was a witch, and she was known to be a fair healer when the mood struck her. She could also be a fair terror when the mood struck her, and it seemed to the farmer there were more of the latter moods striking her than the former. Still, he had no choice, so reluctantly he made the trip to the witch's cottage.

The woods were dark and eerie as he approached and nervously raised his hand to bang on the door. Before he could the door was flung open, and the witch was there scowling at him.

"I know why you're here, Zeke," the witch cackled. "Your Bessie is gone up sick, ain't she?"

"Y..yes, Grannie," stammered Zeke. "I was hoping..."

"I have just the thing," she said, her scowl softening. "Wait here." She closed the door and a few minutes later opened it again and handed him two large, orange pills.

"Get behind Bessie," she ordered, "and lift her tail. Then stick one of these pills where the sun don't shine. In a minute she'll be up and running, right enough. She'll run all night, I s'spect."

"Thank you, Grannie," Zeke beamed. "But what's the other pill for?"

"I reckon you'll want to catch her, won't you?"

Small Update

Things are starting to get back into the same rut. It seems the majority of the wife’s attention is on baseball, either with the local games or (when they aren’t in town) following them online and monitoring other games. I suppose we’ll need to have another talk about it, but honestly I don’t know if it’s worth the effort. It just feels like we’re saying the same things over and over and it gets a little better for a time but then soon enough we’re right back where we were.

As I think it through, I’m not really sure what I’m complaining about anymore. I really don’t mind her going to the games; she enjoys them and I have a little time to myself. If I weren’t so apathetic about everything, I could use that time to get out and do things, but mainly I just stay home and read. At least this year I have the gym, which I still try to stay steady and consistent with. We go together when she doesn’t have a game to go to, and when she does I try to get over there on my own. But other than the gym, I really just don’t have motivation to do anything else.

I complain about how much time and energy she devotes to baseball, but why does that bother me? I know I’ve said before something along the lines of “If she would put half the work into ‘us’ as she does into baseball…” but the truth is I couldn’t stand a tenth of that focus. If she dropped baseball tomorrow I certainly wouldn’t be able to absorb the energy, and I suspect that I’d be just as resentful of any other hobby she picked up to replace it.

After some little reflection, I think I’m jealous of her ability to be so immersed in a hobby and maintain the passion and joy for it. I’ve never been able to do that because I lose interest so quickly in things. I used to play golf; poorly, but I enjoyed it. When I had time and money, I’d go to the driving range three or four times a week, and try to get on the course at least once every week or two. Then, almost overnight, nothing; I lost complete interest in it. I tried going to the driving range a few times to see if the spark could be rekindled but it never was. It was the same with computers, bowling, music, etc.; all things I deeply loved doing until one day, nothing.

So I’m going to try criticizing her baseball hobby less. Despite occasionally going overboard with it, she’s really not hurting anybody, least of all me. I wish I could enjoy it with her, because I know she’d love that, but I simply can’t. But I can allow her to enjoy it without trying to make her feel guilty about it.

Weekend Update

Happy Monday, everyone; I hope you all had good weekends.

I’ve pretty much given up on having anything exciting or interesting to say anymore, especially after a weekend. I don’t feel much like going out when it’s just the wife and I, and after a number of failed attempts to get together with other people, I’m done with trying. I understand people are busy, but I can only make so much unreciprocated effort before I say “fuck it” and stop trying. If any of our “friends” (including L) want to spend time with us, they’ll damn well have to be the ones asking us to get together. If they don’t want to spend time with us, then we don’t need them around anyway.

There were no games at home this weekend, so it was just the wife and I staying in and… well, the usual. We had sex Saturday afternoon after a short nap (yes, we like our naps on Saturdays when we can get them) and made some plans for a short trip next weekend. She followed some games on her computer while I read and the TV was on in the background.

Saturday night I made some bets on the Preakness and actually won one of them! In total, between the wife and me, we had $30 worth of bets; $20 for me to box 5 horses on an Exacta (each bet was only $1) and the wife had some other bets. I hit on one of the Exactas and won all of $9.10. It’s great to win, but I hate to win and still have lost money.

Leading up to the actual race we had a nice salad for dinner, and I made us some steaks and corn on the cob. I was going to grill the steaks, but by Saturday evening it was cool, windy, and dreary looking outside and I just didn’t feel like getting the grill out. But I’ve discovered over the past year that a hot cast-iron skillet does a pretty good job with steaks too. The grill is better, in my opinion, but the skillet will do in a pinch.

I did yard work on Sunday, and we went for a little drive and picked up some dinner at a deli we like. By the time we left it was getting cool, so we headed on home. We had some wine (and a beer later) and went to bed early.

Joke of the Week

This is an old joke and I've heard several variations over the years, but it always makes me laugh.

A little old lady goes to the bank with $10,000 in cash and says that she would like to deposit it into an account. The male banker asks her where in the world she got $10,000. "Oh, I'm just really good at making bets," says the old lady.

"Really, you made all this money from betting?" asks the banker.

"Yep," said the old lady. "I'll make a bet with you just to prove it. I will bet you $5,000 that your balls are square."

The banker laughs nervously, embarrassed by the impropriety displayed by the old woman. "No ma'am, my... uh, testicles are not square."

"Oh yes, I bet you your balls are square. Tell you what, I'll leave and come back tomorrow after you've had time to go home and check for yourself."

The banker thinks to himself that this woman is clearly nuts, but thinks this is quite an easy way to make $5,000 since he is certain his balls are not square.

The next day the old woman shows up with another man, who she explains is a lawyer who will verify the outcome of the bet. The banker agrees to this, knowing he can't possibly lose.

"Okay, sonny, drop your pants and I'll inspect your balls," says the old woman. The banker does this and the old woman closely examines the banker's balls.

"Well, it looks like you were right, they are not square!" says the old woman, and counts out $5000 cash. As she does this, the lawyer starts crying.

"What's with him?" The banker asks.

"Oh, I bet him $20,000 I'd have your pants down and your balls in my hands by the time we left."

FFF - 5-16-14 - Second Thoughts

Word Count:    275

Bonus Words:  Tell us about her high school

Required Phrase:    Not Now Mom!!!

Forbidden Word:    Wedding 

Extra Credit:
Don't take the obvious route for the week.

It didn’t take long for regret to sink in. “Marry in haste; repent in leisure.” Jasmine heard the words as clearly as if her mother were sitting beside her. Even in death the woman was a first-class nag.

“Not now mom!” she muttered. Jasmine needed to think, but she knew she couldn’t remain in the guest room she’d run to in her panic much longer. Mark (“My husband!” she thought, incredulously) would start looking soon, and eventually he’d find her; it would go better if she went to him.

She shivered as the cool air caressed her naked skin. She wasn’t exactly sure why she’d suddenly grown so frightened when he helped her out of her dress, but the imperative to run was too strong to resist. She’d only dated Mark for two months when he asked her to be his bride, and she’d readily, giddily agreed. Looking back now, it was like she’d been under a spell...

“Oh, fuck!” Jasmine gasped. Of course it was a spell! There was no other explanation for everything that had happened; agreeing to go out with a man who, only a week earlier, she’d found loathsome; tossing Jake, her high school sweetheart, aside like so much garbage; systematically turning from her friends and family as they questioned her erratic behavior.

But what had broken the spell? She thought back over the day to pinpoint when everything had changed, when her eyes had opened. It wasn’t when the dress first came off; she’d been feeling strange for at least several moments before that.

Then it dawned on her; the necklace Mark gave her on their first date! It was some fancy-dress affair, and he’d “loaned” her a beautiful, black diamond necklace. Looking back, she recognized that moment as when she’d fallen helplessly in love with him. When he took it off her, the spell was broken. So then why did he take it off, knowing that she would no longer be enthralled? He must not have known; he must have assumed the spell would hold even without the necklace. Unless…

Unless he wanted the spell broken, so Jasmine would know exactly what she’d gotten herself into. He’d once told her “I feed off the despair of others!” At the time she thought that was just a metaphor, and a half-joking one at that. Now the frightening realization was donning on her that he might have been completely literal.

“Jasmine, my sweet,” Mark called from the master bedroom. Jasmine shivered, and wondered why she’d never noticed how greasy and reptilian his voice was. “Do hurry back, love. I’m anxious to consummate our… union!”

Oops, I was a little late getting my story up this week, but here it is. I'm not entirely happy with how this turned out; it's the story I had in my head as I wrote it, but I couldn't get the right tone. And I'm way over the word count, but I'm not sorry so there!

Now get over to Advizor's site and read all the other great, sexy entries!