Something has been going on with L lately; she hasn’t made much effort to contact me during the day, and when we do talk (via text messaging) her answers are curt and don’t really encourage further comment. I’ve been obliging and just letting the conversation drop, and today I’ve decided I just won’t start any conversation. If she wants to talk, she has my number; if she doesn’t, fuck it.
Now on Monday she was a little more animated, even wishing me a Happy Veteran’s Day. But as it happens, she also wanted to ask me to set a few of her boxes out the next morning for B to pick up when he was in town to look in on his father. Once I agreed, she went quiet again. I’ve consider maybe she’s just been really busy, but when I ask how her day is, she answers “Slow.” That’s it; nothing more. If I talk about how my day has been, I might get an “Okay”, “right”, or “cool”, but that’s it.
She and B have been in town twice since the wife and I last spent the night with them, and she was in town herself this past weekend visiting a friend of hers. The only time we saw her was when she wanted to get a few other boxes, and then they only stopped long enough to grab them and they were gone. I don't expect them to go out of their way to see us, but when they're already in the area? I couldn't imagine going down to their neck of the woods and not at least letting her know and seeing if they want to meet up. Usually I find out their in town because she posted something on Facebook after the fact.
I don’t like confrontation generally, but I’m also impatient; so probably sometime today I’m just going to come out and ask her what’s going on. I’d rather get it out in the open than just sit here sullenly, harrumphing about how she can text me first if she wants to talk, by god, because I’m certainly not texting her first. It may turn into a fight, but better that than this cold distance.
I suspect she’s not even really mad at me; she usually is quite upfront about it when she has a problem with something I’ve said or done. I think she’s still sulking because the wife said something kind of rude (but not that big a deal, really) the last time we stayed there. When L complained about it that Monday after, she said something along the lines of “I only put up with her because of you.” I didn’t really say anything to that, because if I had it would have been to tell her to go fuck herself. I mean, yea, the wife shouldn’t have said what she did (and I did talk to the wife about her habit of saying what’s on her mind no matter how inappropriate) but L is exactly the same way and has no room to complain.
Another possibility occurred to me today, though. The last time L got this distant with me without a specific reason to be mad at me was when she and S were first ramping up their relationship. She later told me that it was because she was emailing so much with him she didn’t have time for me. It does make me wonder if she’s starting something with someone new (or even someone from the past.) At the moment I give the chance of that about a 15% or less, and 70% more likely it’s the thing with the wife. And the remaining 15% is just recognizing that it could be something else altogether.
Like I said, I’ll probably confront her about it before the end of the day so hopefully I’ll at least know what’s going on. The problem with that, though, is that no matter what she says is the reason (if she says anything at all), it’s not necessarily going to be the truth.
Any chance she is just trying to reconnect with B after all they have been through and that it isn't a new person?
ReplyDeleteJames, I honestly have no idea. At the moment I'm going to take her word for it (after talking to her yesterday) that she's been feeling cruddy with sinus problems for the past few days.
DeleteAnd maybe it doesn't matter why she's pushing me away, whether it's B or me or the wife or someone else. If she wants me at a distance, the reason why isn't important. I just have to let her go through what she needs to go through, pretend it doesn't bother me, and hope for the best.