Dinner with T

The last time I talked to T (y'all remember T, right? The gay guy I used to work with who was going to be my "first" if things had worked out? Right, him; okay good you do remember) was a few months ago. I'd messaged him asking how things were, and he said things were "fine", but didn't offer any elaboration. We messaged back and forth a bit, and I said we still needed to do dinner sometime to which he agreed, and that was it. I still feel some guilt over whatever part I played in his and P's problems, so I let it drop. I figured if he wanted to meet up he'd contact me.

Early last week I received a Linkd-In request to add T to my connections, and I accepted. I wondered if he was going to try to contact me through there, but a day or two later he hadn't so I messaged him and asked (as always) how things were going. Previously he always answered "we're doing fine" but this time he simply said "I'm doing fine." I wondered if that meant he and P had broken up for good, and whether it made any difference. We talked a bit, then I asked if he would be free the next Monday (last night) to meet for dinner, and he said he would be. We set a time and place, and to skip ahead we met at a local Applebee's he chose, inside a mall in our area.

Aside: I'm not a fan of Applebee's and it wouldn't have been my first choice, or even my seventh or eighth choice, but it did have the advantage of being out of the way and not likely I'd see anyone I know there. And really, they've made some menu changes, and I rather liked the Wonton Chicken Tacos.

We exchanged pleasantries while we looked over the menu, and put in our order, then got down to serious talking. He told me that he and P are doing better than ever after almost splitting up. It had gotten so far that P had gotten his own apartment and was in the process of moving out. But at the last moment they admitted they didn't want that, hugged it out and are back together. It's actually more complicated than that, of course, and they are still working on their issues, but really that's about what it came down to.

I apologized for my hand in the problems, with the text I sent so long ago that P saw. T assured me that it was a minor ripple in the waves of all their problems, and that I shouldn't feel guilty about it at all. He said he told P that I just make a lot of sexual innuendo, but that I'm straight and married and not a threat to him at all. I asked if he'd told P that he was meeting me for dinner and he said he did.

I caught him up on my busy summer, telling him about my adventures with Brent, Simplicity, and the resumption of things with L. No, he doesn't know about my relationship with L, and I spoke of that in really vague terms, that it was just a one-time (so far) resumption of a prior relationship. He wasn't very interested in that or my adventures with Simplicity (again, fairly vague details.) But brother, did he want to know about Brent!

I explained how he and I met online and, after some time, decided to meet up. I didn't sexualize the encounter like I did here on my blog, but I didn't leave anything out. T asked if I would do it again, and I told him that though I'm not obsessed with it like I was previously, the curiosity is still a part of me and under the right circumstances I'm pretty sure I would. T said he understood, and that he wished things could have worked out between us. I agreed, and said that I'd thought about that, not knowing what his and P's status was, but that I wouldn't feel right about it now since he and P were making an effort to put things back together. He agreed and said he didn't want to screw things up with him, and we pretended we didn't know we were both lying.

T said "I would like to see it though, you know, in person," then excused himself to go to the men's room. I had a feeling he was hoping I'd follow but I wasn't going to. When I lie about how I wouldn't feel right about messing around because of the possible effect it could have on the person's relationship, I like to wait more than five minutes before going ahead and messing around anyway. He came back to the table and seemed a little disappointed, so I offered to send him a picture. He said that wasn't the real thing, but sure go ahead. I sent two I thought he'd like, and I was right.

We left the restaurant and walked around the mall some and continued to talk. As we approached the other end of the mall, T said he needed to piss again, so we walked to the restroom. I followed him in, knowing that he wanted to have a look and thinking I'd let him, but I chickened out. The urinals were too close together, and I really did have to pee; there's no way I would have been able to with him gawking at me. Hell, even if he had no interest in looking at my dick, I wouldn't be able to pee standing that close to someone else. I ducked into a stall and finished up, and wondered if he'd step in and ask to see. The mall was almost dead, as usual (I don't know how it's managed to stay open as long as it has) so it would have been safe enough. But he didn't, so I zipped up and washed my hands and followed him out.

We continued walking around and talking, and at one point he made a joking sexual reference about something I don't remember. I chuckled my nervous laugh, and he asked if he'd stepped over the line. I assured him he hadn't; I just laugh like that. He said he jokes around like that to try to help me feel more comfortable about it, "so the next time, whoever it's with, you hopefully won't be as nervous." He said he was disappointed when I went into the stall in the bathroom, because (duh) he wanted to look. I told him about the shy bladder, and said "besides, T, I'm a grower not a show-er. There just wouldn't be that much to see." I thought to say he could have come to the stall and asked, but decided not to.

Finally we were at the end of the mall where he'd parked. He admitted to feeling a little jealous that my first time wasn't with him, and asked again if I would do it again. I understood what he was really asking, and told him that I would, under the right circumstances, and that he would be someone I would be willing to do it with if those circumstances came together. He looked satisfied, and maybe a little relieved, with that answer. We said we'd get together again soon, shook hands and said our goodbyes.