Too Good to be True

I'm starting this Saturday night, but it likely won't get posted until Sunday morning.

I've spent the day thinking about how I'd write this post, what I'd say and wouldn't say. And now I'm as blank as ever.

CR and I decided to try again for this morning, meeting at the church. We talked about it all week, teasing and getting each other charged up. We talked about it again this morning, shoring up our plans and getting the little details worked out. Then the wives woke up and we had to get on with our morning, but knowing we'd see each other (finally!) at nine.

It's been harder (giggity) this week to get excited after the false starts we've already had, but I was starting to get into it. And this morning I was raring to go! But when the I got a text from him at 8:30 I already knew what it would say before I saw it.

So once again something has come up at the last minute. My head is telling me this doesn't happen every time if both parties are wanting to get together. My gut tells me that CR isn't playing games, and that this is just a run of bad luck. Honestly I just don't know what to think.

But it's becoming more and more apparent that this is just not going to work out for us. Not now, not under these circumstances. The church isn't the "safe," reliable place it was supposed to be. There's no way for CR to ensure that someone else won't want to be there at the time we're trying to, and there's no guarantee that once we got started someone won't show up unexpectedly. That would be bad for everyone!

So CR, if you're reading this, I'm not mad. I'm trying to be understanding of how things are for both of us. I hope that we can still chat as friends. But I think it's time to just let it go unless we can figure out something more reliable. I can't maintain excitement about something when in the back of my mind I'm doubting it's going to happen at all.

My urge and need to suck a dick rises and falls seemingly at random. Right now I'm honestly not even sure I want it any more. That will probably change down the road, but for now I think I'm done.

Another Failure to Launch

After Friday's disappointment, CR and I agreed to try again for Tuesday. That fell through because of his family obligations,so we thought we'd either try for Thursday,or for sure Saturday morning. Although I'm learning nothing is "for sure."

Thursday was a long shot, and sure enough it didn't work out. But we thought Saturday would be a done deal. Until Saturday morning, an hour before we were to meet. Someone else would be at the church for the day, and it was unavailable.

So now we have to try again.

Sigh

Something, something, or maybe nothing

I'm rushing this post to get it up (giggity) before work,so my apologies for formatting and spelling errors.

When I told L about my curious hobby, she was really excited and asked every couple days if I had any prospects. I told her about some of the guys I was talking to, but none of them were really pending. I'd told her about the one guy, and also about how he'd ghosted me, and she was sympathetic.

L went to visit her daughter just as that happened, and wasn't around to talk to when I started chatting with CR. That Sunday the wife was out of the house to run some errands, so I called L to give her an update. I hadn't really gotten to know CR well to that point, but I was impressed by his dick and told L that. We had a good conversation, and she warned me again to "be careful, in all sense of the words."

During the week I tried to update L via text what was going on, and how CR and I were making a good connection. I noticed that her answers were short; "Ok", "Right", "Good", and the like. So I just stopped updating her, since it was apparent that she wasn't interested. That kind of hurt, but L is L.

Anyway, as I said yesterday, CR and I had our meeting scheduled for Friday. He was radio silent from about 8:30 on, as expected. When I didn't hear from him by 1:00 I figured that his obligation was running longer than expected, but we had plenty of time. I wasn't leaving work until 2:00, with the plan to get there around 2:30(ish).

By the time I was pulling off the interstate I still hadn't heard from CR, and I was getting a bit concerned. I drove around for a bit, waiting to see if he'd contact me and killing some time. My cutoff was going to be 3:00, because I'd want to be home and cleaned up (if need be) before the wife got home at 4:30.

By 3:00, all kinds of things were going through my head. Number one, I hoped that some family emergency hadn't come up. But I was also wondering if a better opportunity to play had come up. Which would have been fine, really, I'd just like to not be left hanging. Or maybe he wasn't that interested after all, which would also be fine as long as he let me know.

I didn't really believe any of that; those thoughts were coming from my insecurities. I'd chatted with CR enough to know that he isn't the kind of person who'd do those things. 

I had been keeping Simplicity up to date all week on our plans, and likewise I was telling her about not hearing from CR. Ever the good friend, Simplicity was sympathetic, and agreed that this was probably just a goof up and would all get worked out. She also advised that, should this happen again, I'd have to consider backing away.

By 3:30, I no longer had any wiggle room on time, so I went on home. Like any red-blooded American who'd been cock-blocked, I jacked off (it was a big load, CR) before the wife got home, then later drank too much.

Just before going to be Friday night, I finally got a message from CR. He apologized, and told me about the shit-show of a day he'd had. It seems...

Well, why don't we let CR tell us himself in the comments. Take it away, CR!

Something, something, definitely something!

When I got the message over Grindr, I almost ignored it. The name on the account was "Bromance", and I was sure it was some 20-year old frat boy. I couldn't imagine how there would be any connection between us!

Out of curiosity I looked at the guy's profile, and noticed that he listed his age as 40. Okay, that's a little better. Plus, at the time he was showing to be about a mile or so away; even better! Okay, maybe this will be worth looking into.

We chatted a good bit, exchanged some face photos, then agreed to move on to the interesting stuff.

Now you, my readers, know that I'm not attracted to guys, I'm just about that dick. And you know (because I've told you, and you believe me without reservation) that I'm not hung up about the size of the dick; I don't want a tiny dick, nor do I want some monster, porn dick. Anything in the range of average is fine.

So with all this said, during the two weeks I've been talking and exchanging pictures with guys on Grindr, there's been a decided lack of... wow when it comes to their dicks. Not that there was anything wrong with them, not at all. Most were on the lower side of average, but average nonetheless. But none of them really made me open my eyes and think "Oh, boy!"

Then there was CR. Yes, he warrants his own designation, so that should tell you something! It's not the size (though it's definitely on the larger end of average), it's the way it is so well proportioned! The thought of sucking a dick, any dick, is usually enough for me to get a chub going, but the thought of sucking CR's dick gets me HARD!

Oh, and CR is no doubt eating this up right now. I've said it to him enough times in chat, but now he's reading me say it to all of you! (Yes, CR is now a fan of my blog, and knows everything interesting that there is to know about me.) Say "hi" to CR, everybody. Say "hi" to everybody, CR.

As we chatted through the week, we got around to asking each other about our lives, including what kind of work we do. I had a vague idea of the area CR worked, so I assumed that he was going to tell me he worked in a law office or perhaps a realty firm. So I really wasn't prepared for his actual answer: "For a church, honestly."

The more we talked,t more of a connection I felt with CR. Trust is always an issue with me when it comes to deciding whether or not to meet up with a man (and yes, I know most people have the same issue.) But with CR, things just seem to fit. I'm even excited at the idea of kissing him,which is outside the normal for me!

When we started talking seriously about meeting up, I asked where we could have some privacy. Again, not really prepared for the answer: "At the church, honestly." It seems C-19 gives him opportunities to have utmost privacy at the church. This really could be interesting!

(Honestly, as an atheist, the church is just another building to me. But it is kind of fun to think about!)

So, we made plans to meet up last Friday, and I was going to leave work early. We'd only have about an hour, but from the pictures and videos we sent each other, it didn't seem like we'd need much longer than that!

We spent a good bit of time Friday morning chatting, keeping each other wound up with pictures and videos. About 8 that morning, CR informed me that he had an obligation that would keep him radio silence until 1:00, but would contact me then. My plan was to leave at 2:00, so I wasn't worried about it. Even if he ran later than he thought, the plan was to meet around 2:30, so he'd have plenty of time to get everything settled, right?

Can you see where this is going? You can probably see where this is going.

Something, something, maybe something

I know,some of my titles suck

As I mentioned previously, telling L about my curious side has been a big relief! Being able to talk to, and joke with her about it still blows my mind. And it’s gotten me back in the mood to hook up with someone!

Of course, L being L, nothing is ever easy.

A few weeks ago I reactivated my Grindr account and started looking or some likely prospects. Within a few hours I’d been contacted by a few guys, and been sent dick pictures. I had some mild interest in a few of the guys, but nothing really grabbed my attention primarily because they were either too far away or had as much logistics difficulties as I usually have.

Lockdown has been a bitch for trying to get anything going! Without the relief of having the wife go to baseball games, it’s hard to find any time to play.

I started talking to a guy who lives in the city where I work, and who works from home. He and I seemed to have a good connection, and I especially like that he didn’t immediately ask for dick pics. We did exchange face pics, and though I’m not attracted to guys in that way, he looked normal enough. When we finally did exchange dick pics, his looked… I don’t know, fine I guess. Nothing remarkable, not tiny but not big. Adequate is probably the right word. Definitely suckable.

We talked about how we could get together, and I suggested we could meet for lunch one day. He reminded me that there aren’t many places to meet for lunch, and perhaps I could come to his place and we could “chill.” Yea, we all know what that means, right?

I explained how I tend to freeze, and that he’d have to make the first move because I wouldn’t be capable of it. And suddenly, I didn’t hear anything more from him. By the next morning I was resigned to having scared him off somehow. I sent a text the later that morning “laughingly” apologizing for my “drunken ramblings” from the night before. A little later he responded with an LOL and said that it was no problem, he’d just been busy working late into the night.

Oh, well, that’s okay then!

So we continued to talk through that day and the next day, not a lot of texts but just getting to know each other a little better. That Thursday I sent him a text asking when he’d like together to “chill.” I was thinking the following week sometime would be good.

And again, he never answered.

I sent a text late in the day on Friday asking how his day had been; nothing. Nothing Saturday either, though I could see that he’d been on Grindr several times and would have seen my texts. It was a bit disappointing to get so close and have it seemingly fall through, but I’ve been there before. No big deal, really.

Saturday, or maybe Sunday, another user on Grindr contacted me. I almost didn’t respond, because it just felt like so much work to go through, only to have it fall through again. But finally I did respond, and boy! Am I glad I did!