It's, you know, whatever (continued)

Here's a slightly edited version of what I started writing yesterday morning, before the wife woke up:

I knew I'd be writing a follow up to the last post, but wasn't sure what I would be writing about. I figured I'd here from L sometime Saturday and would maybe have an update on that. I did text with her briefly, but she didn't offer anything about her slumber party and I didn't ask.
My friend James F. Break from Break Out commented on yesterday's post, saying that L is going to get caught, and is letting her vagina do her thinking. I was in the midst of replying to his comment when I realized that's really what today's follow-up needs to be about.

So here goes.
I'm thinking L does want to get caught. She's being pretty brazen about going to see R as often, and staying overnight is really a bold move. B always gets on her shit when she's away for a night because he doesn't trust her (and who can blame him), and now she's going to be gone for the whole weekend, supposedly visiting her daughter.

I wrote a little more but wound up having to stop when the wife started stirring. Then later, L texted me and we had a pretty good conversation, and now I'm cautiously hopeful that she has a better plan this time around.

I know (and have known for a while) that L definitely wants to leave B. She wants to move back here, to my town, where she grew up and all of her friends are. She wants to buy a house here, and though I think that may not be realistic, she was working towards that plan even before R came into the equation.

I don't know where her thing with R fits; she genuinely seems to like him, and enjoys being with him. She told me a lot of what she knows about him now, and this situation with him so far seems so much more rational and stable than what she went through earlier with S. (I still can't believe it's been almost 7 years since S killed himself.)

I told her back in February that I was hoping to sell our house later this year, or early next year, when my inheritance comes in. (I never wrote about this, but my mother died at the end of January.) The inheritance isn't going to be huge, but it should be enough to put the wife and I in pretty good shape as far as getting a new house.

At the time L said she'd like to buy our house, and jokingly (I thought at the time) said she'd come live with us and help us get it ready for sell. Yesterday she reiterated that she'd like to move in with us and help out with fixing things and other projects. Now that she's layed off from work she isn't bound to the area she's been living in.

Now there are all kinds of hurdles we'll have to face if she really does want to live here with us, and eventually buy the house, and I'm well aware of the issues, but that's not a discussion for this post. My point is that this time she actually does seem to have a plan. Her spending a lot of time with R is somewhat impulsive, and risky, but if she really does leave B "sooner than later" as she says, then a lot of that risk is moot.

After L shared the details of the sex she and R had in round two, I kept playing that through my head imagining her as I've seen her, but with him instead. In some ways it was exciting (as James is sure to attest) and I've often felt like L and I were in a semi-hotwife kind of situation. But those thoughts also caused me a lot of anxiety for reasons not entirely clear to me, and kept me up in the early hours when I'd wake up for whatever reasons.

I'm not going to pretend that all of that is gone now, but after yesterday's conversation it does feel a little better.