Just some odds and ends to catch up, and assure those of you I don’t communicate with on a regular basis that I’m still alive and kicking.
Things are mostly the same with the wife and me, which is to say that they’re right back to where we were last year at this time. I guess I didn’t really think anything would change, but I had hoped. Really, it’s not bad though. When I’m not spending most of the day moping around and feeling sorry for myself, it doesn’t bother me that much. She spends her time on her computer, I spend time reading, and we kind of half-assed spend time together. Sex is just something to do when masturbation gets boring, and though she’ll tolerate me going down on her for a minute or two I don’t bother with it much. Why should I if she doesn’t get anything out of it?
I’ve also pretty much given up on making any of what I consider the “first moves” to initiate sex. I don’t try to rub her ass when we’re in the kitchen, or reach around to caress her from behind or nuzzle or play in any way. Again, why bother? She sometimes tolerates it, but usually I just get “Honey, please!” So holding hands on the couch (when she’s not too busy with her games) will have to suffice, and if she wants to have sex she’ll just have to tell me. At which point we’ll go back to the bedroom, she’ll blow me for a few minutes, and then lay back and soon it’s over. If she wants something I’ll get her toy and watch (and sometimes touch, if she wants me to) as she gets off.
L continues her campaign of cutting us out of just about all physical involvement in her life. We still text during the week, but it’s mostly just pleasantries; nothing of any real substance and not even much of that. I stopped initiating text conversations with her (unless it’s something important, which it never is) but will respond if she says something. Maybe I’m being stubborn, and maybe she is too, but fuck it, right? I can’t be the only one making an effort. It may be best to let her just fade out of our lives altogether; it seems like what she wants anyway.
I’ve decided to give up sodas, at least for a while, though I honestly don’t know what I expect to happen from it. For the past two weeks I cut back to just one a day, and on Friday I had the last one from the last case I bought so this weekend was my first soda-free (diet or otherwise) in… well, hell, I couldn’t tell you how long. It’s been at least 25 years, when I was in the Army and we’d go on maneuvers, and even then I’d have at least one each day if I could get to the store before we went. But again, I don’t know what I expect to happen; it’s just something to do.
The more I write here the less I want to post this, so I’d better stop before I just delete it altogether.
Things are mostly the same with the wife and me, which is to say that they’re right back to where we were last year at this time. I guess I didn’t really think anything would change, but I had hoped. Really, it’s not bad though. When I’m not spending most of the day moping around and feeling sorry for myself, it doesn’t bother me that much. She spends her time on her computer, I spend time reading, and we kind of half-assed spend time together. Sex is just something to do when masturbation gets boring, and though she’ll tolerate me going down on her for a minute or two I don’t bother with it much. Why should I if she doesn’t get anything out of it?
I’ve also pretty much given up on making any of what I consider the “first moves” to initiate sex. I don’t try to rub her ass when we’re in the kitchen, or reach around to caress her from behind or nuzzle or play in any way. Again, why bother? She sometimes tolerates it, but usually I just get “Honey, please!” So holding hands on the couch (when she’s not too busy with her games) will have to suffice, and if she wants to have sex she’ll just have to tell me. At which point we’ll go back to the bedroom, she’ll blow me for a few minutes, and then lay back and soon it’s over. If she wants something I’ll get her toy and watch (and sometimes touch, if she wants me to) as she gets off.
L continues her campaign of cutting us out of just about all physical involvement in her life. We still text during the week, but it’s mostly just pleasantries; nothing of any real substance and not even much of that. I stopped initiating text conversations with her (unless it’s something important, which it never is) but will respond if she says something. Maybe I’m being stubborn, and maybe she is too, but fuck it, right? I can’t be the only one making an effort. It may be best to let her just fade out of our lives altogether; it seems like what she wants anyway.
I’ve decided to give up sodas, at least for a while, though I honestly don’t know what I expect to happen from it. For the past two weeks I cut back to just one a day, and on Friday I had the last one from the last case I bought so this weekend was my first soda-free (diet or otherwise) in… well, hell, I couldn’t tell you how long. It’s been at least 25 years, when I was in the Army and we’d go on maneuvers, and even then I’d have at least one each day if I could get to the store before we went. But again, I don’t know what I expect to happen; it’s just something to do.
The more I write here the less I want to post this, so I’d better stop before I just delete it altogether.
Glad to see you back posting. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you posted before you deleted. Good to hear from you.
ReplyDeleteAs for L, just let her go. I wouldn't even respond anymore, but for the wife?
You have my sympathy. Been There, Done That, Got ripped off on the T-shirt.
Great to read another posting from you. Sounds like you are in depression.
ReplyDeleteMy life is very similar to yours, except my wife will not go down on me and blow me. actually, we have not had sex, intimate or oral in well over 2 years.
We do not even cuddle in bed anymore, and rarely hold hands. But then, I already gave up on her a long time ago, and that is why I fuck around with another woman. Sometimes a man needs the company of a woman that really appreciates, cares, and loves them no matter what, even if they can not have them for their own full time.
Wishing you all the best, and hope that things get better for you.