Back to the Drawing Board (or not)

I'm giving up on looking for a dick to suck, at least for a while. It's more trouble than it's worth.

I went on Grindr yesterday,and it was just more of the same ole same ole. I engaged in a few half-assed conversations, but my heart wasn't really in it. No, I can't host. No I can't meet you after work. No I can't drive two hours out of my way on a weekend.

No, I don't know what I even want here.

I think giving up Facebook has been a positive thing, but I'm still feeling morose. The cold, dreary weather we've had since Saturday (and get to enjoy all week) isn't helping either.

The wife and I started watching "The Handmaid's Tale" and it feels all too scarily possible in today's climate. Margaret Atwood wrote it in 1985, and seems remarkably prescient now.

Just so this post isn't all doom and gloom, I am heartened by the growing BLM sentiment, and the protests it is generating. Despite a few miscreants causing trouble, the protests are long overdue, and I hope they can lead to meaningful change.

Likewise, I support the removal of all the Confederate statues and memorials from the public square. Traitors to the country who fought to maintain the right to hold other humans as slaves should not be celebrated or help up as honorable people.

How I Avoided the War (with apologies to Patrick Ryan)

Earlier this week I got to work early and, like I always do, I farted around until it was time to clock in. The lion's share of said farting around usually involves catching up on Facebook and, when I get bored of that, checking out Reddit. But this day friend's post caught my eye, and one of his friends made an opposing argument that I felt not only called for a response but it called for it from me.

In short, I got in a stupid argument with an idiot (some may even say there were two idiots involved in this argument.) I quickly realized that his goal wasn't to exchange viewpoints and either meet eye-to-eye on some points or agree to disagree. Instead, he was just trying to score some fake internet points with essentially a "Gish Gallop" strategy.

I got flustered, wanting to answer him but unable to keep up with his onslaught of nonsense, and eventually bowed out. He continued to spam the comment thread until I finally blocked him.

This isn't my first time having a fruitless argument on Facebook, but that day it really got to me. Half an hour later I was still fuming about it. An hour later I was fuming, but I also had a headache and was in a generally bad mood. It didn't help that I'm becoming increasingly bitter at work for various reasons. Facebook isn't one of the reasons, but I realised getting worked up over a stupid Facebook argument wasn't helping any either. So I deactivated my account.

Not being on Facebook for the past two+ days hasn't made me any less bitter about work, and it hasn't made interactions with people (for instance the wife) any less annoying. But maybe I'm dealing with those issues a little better because I'm not also stressed out from the inane shit that FB offers.

And since that time sink is out of my life (at least for now), that also means I have a little extra time at lunch to write award-winning level posts such as this one. Not that I have anything interesting to write about though.

CR and I are still talking, and still trying to work out getting together. I think I put too much pressure on myself and on CR to make it happen as quickly as possible, and it made me way too frustrated when it didn't work out. As JFB pointed out in response to my last post, with both of us married, on the downlow, and with a lot to lose should we be found out, there are going to be times when it just doesn't work out. So I'm trying to take a less stressful approach; we'll get there when the time is right. Meanwhile, we can tease each other with texts, pictures, and videos, and it'll be all the more intense when we finally do get together.

But god DAMN I want to suck his dick!