Simplicity asked me if this experience with Craig wasn’t as positive as the one with T; I guess my relating of the events Saturday night came through a little flat. In fact (as I told her) that is probably the best way to put it; through no fault of Craig’s, and though there was nothing wrong with the experience and I’m glad I did it, I didn’t feel the same buoyant elation afterwards that I felt with T. In fact, it honestly didn’t leave me feeling as high as my experience last year with Brent despite the fact that he didn’t end up coming.
I’m not really sure why this was the case, though. I don’t feel any guilt or disgust at all; again, I’m happy I went through with it, and Craig is a good guy who I’d like to maintain a friendship with. Maybe it’s because it’s not as novel now; or maybe because the urge wasn’t as overwhelming as it had been the other times.
Whatever the reason, Saturday night on the way home I felt really blah about it. Again, not that there was anything wrong with the experience, but I honestly felt like it might be the last time I’d bother with any of that; not just with Craig but with anyone. By Sunday morning, when I was writing part one of the encounter, the excitement part of it was back somewhat and was also there when I wrote part two later that evening. That might not have come through in the writing because I was still thinking about it but wasn’t ready to write about that part of it.
As for today, I’m not ready to say I’m back in the full swing of things; as has always been the case, the urge is sometimes very strong, and sometimes hardly there. I’m probably just at a natural stage of not feeling that urge very strongly for now and need to lay off it until it comes back.
I’m not really sure why this was the case, though. I don’t feel any guilt or disgust at all; again, I’m happy I went through with it, and Craig is a good guy who I’d like to maintain a friendship with. Maybe it’s because it’s not as novel now; or maybe because the urge wasn’t as overwhelming as it had been the other times.
Whatever the reason, Saturday night on the way home I felt really blah about it. Again, not that there was anything wrong with the experience, but I honestly felt like it might be the last time I’d bother with any of that; not just with Craig but with anyone. By Sunday morning, when I was writing part one of the encounter, the excitement part of it was back somewhat and was also there when I wrote part two later that evening. That might not have come through in the writing because I was still thinking about it but wasn’t ready to write about that part of it.
As for today, I’m not ready to say I’m back in the full swing of things; as has always been the case, the urge is sometimes very strong, and sometimes hardly there. I’m probably just at a natural stage of not feeling that urge very strongly for now and need to lay off it until it comes back.
Don't you think that part of it is that, this is no longer something new or as much of a mystery? I mean, I think most of us have sex with our partners and simply roll over and go to sleep. Can you imagine after several years of marriage jumping on the phone after every time and calling a buddy with details of how you put your penis in your wife? It isn't that youv'e lost interest, it's that it is no longer the holy grail you were after.
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