Flash Fiction Friday - A Band On Ed - 8/2

It was a silly bet, based on his observation that “the only time you’ll ever get help at one of these generic warehouse stores is if you don’t need it.” She guaranteed she would have assistance within five minutes of going in, looking for any item of his choice (obviously something she wouldn’t know the first thing about), or he could have anything he wanted. They both knew what he wanted.

He sent her in for elbow grease and a bottle stretcher, figuring even if he lost the bet (he’d have to sprint naked downtown if that happened) he’d at least get to play a prank on her with the “sleeveless” errand. His mouth dropped open when she stripped to her bra and panties just before exiting the car, then strolled casually up to the entrance. “No fair!” he called out, but she just laughed and entered the store.

She’d seen employees moving about as she approached, but as soon as she passed through the doors it was if the place was abandoned. She looked left and right, turning in a full circle; there wasn’t even anyone at the customer service desk. What could have happened to everyone?

Shrugging, she looked at the signs at the ends of the rows and started looking for the most likely location of the elbow grease. Somebody would show up as soon as they noticed her attire, and as long as it happened within 5 minutes she would win. And if she lost… well, she’d cross that bridge when she came to it.

The slaps of her bare feet on the concrete echoed eerily throughout the seemingly empty store.

************

I shivered violently as goose bumps arose on my arms and legs. I blamed it on the air conditioned environment, but that was only part of it. The store was downright spooky without anyone around. As I walked further along, looking for the “grease” aisle, I realized the general background hum was resolving into voices. I rounded a corner and saw a group of the employees in the back corner, crowded around a table.

It was a birthday party! I guess they figured as late as it was, it was unlikely any customers would be coming in. That was exactly why I thought I’d easily win the bet; being so late, they’d all be bored and jump at the chance to help, especially if the customer was only wearing her “delicates.” The cool air really had my nipples on display too!

I had no idea how much time had passed, but I knew I didn’t have time to be polite. “Hello!” I called, to get someone’s attention. Ten faces turned towards me, followed quickly by ten men simultaneously almost sprinting in my direction, leaving the birthday cake abandoned. The tallest one smiled broadly and, waving the others away, said “I got this, guys. How can I help you miss?”

I’ll give him credit; I’d spoken a full five words before his eyes slid down to my boobs. They flickered rapidly between my eyes and my tits, and lower. I was no better, first amused by the growing bulge in his pants, then impressed, and finally enthralled. I don’t think either of us bothered looking anywhere higher than the neckline for the rest of the conversation.

************

I don’t know why all the employees moved towards the back as she walked in, but I hoped it would help me win the bet. We’ve been friends for years, and only recently started dating (if you can call it that), so even if I’d won I wouldn’t have held her to it. If she wanted to have sex with me, she would. But she couldn’t even kiss me without giggling, so it had to be weird for her. I just wanted to be her first, you know?

She was right at four minutes when she rounded the corner and saw them. She waved to them, and they all started moving, but the tall guy got to her first. A part of me wanted to argue that she’d cheated by calling them to her, but it didn’t matter. She won the bet in my mind simply because she showed me that she didn’t want to lose.

I was feeling kind of low when she came sprinting out a few minutes later, laughing. Watching her bounce made me feel better, and her laugh was like a drug to me. She reached the car, grinning, and said “Elbow grease, huh? A bottle stretcher? You ass!” and punched me playfully in the arm.

I smiled and said “Fine, you won, get in the car and get dressed.” She opened the door and quickly put on her skirt and blouse, then slipped on her sandals.

“Oh,” she said, excitedly. “The guy I was talking to said he’s going to take me home. I think I’m getting laid tonight!”

Stunned, I gave her a high five as she abandoned me.

************

This week's FFF prompt was abandoned, and that word and sprint were mandatory. We weren't allowed to use warehouse, thong, or any store name. The word limit was 250, but 25 bonus words for keeping everyone alive (some of us have been getting morbid of late, and I think Advizor54 wanted things to be a little less... severe.) Granted, the title of this post is a silly play on the theme; I'm still not completely over being sick this week as I write this. I found it moderately funny, though.

Unfortunately, I don't have any new people I've interacted with this week, sexy or otherwise. In fact, with fighting off this cold I've been dealing with, I haven't even felt exceptionally horny this week. I rubbed one out Monday when I got home early because it helps me relax and sleep, but other than that there's been no action.

Oh, the male character sent the female on a "sleeveless" errand, also known as a "wild goose chase." We used to do those to new soldiers when I was in the Army, sending them to get a box of aiming reticles or the like. My favorite, when I was a tanker, was to tell them that the turret was threaded in like a bolt, and every few months you have to turn it to the clockwise for a few minutes to make sure it's all the way down. You don't want it unscrewing out in the field and falling off, now do you? We'd get them in the turret and spin it clockwise for about five minutes, then they'd come out all dizzy. It was especially funny when you convinced some brand-new, butter-bar lieutenant to do it.

Get over to Advizor's blog to read the other entries this week.