And Sometimes, it all Just Works Out!

 Back in June, after another failed attempt (and being ghosted in the process), I finally washed my hands of trying to meet up with CR. I hinted at it here but never really broke down what happened, and honestly I don't think there's much point in doing it now. It happened, and I was ready to move on.

And move on I did. Well, kind of. I tried getting back on Grindr, but my heart was never really in it. I talked with a few guys, but nothing was clicking. In fact, I didn't even mind that it wasn't. The wife and I were suddenly too busy for me to meet up with someone, what with selling our house and getting our stuff packed up for the house we bought. What seemed like an abundance of time, 45+ days until closing, quickly ran up on us with all the destructive enthusiasm of a Lab greeting her humans that she hasn't seen in 20 minutes!

One Saturday, about a week before closing, I drove by the church and saw CR's truck out front. It was close to the time that I knew he'd be done with the weekly activity, and possibly leaving soon, so I contrived to drive around the block a few times to see if I could catch him on his way out. I just wanted to say "hey", and finally meet him in person.

I came to my senses prior to that happening, but as I drove away I did text him a quick hello not knowing if I'd hear back from him or not. A few hours later, I did. We talked, he apologized for the last incident, and we put it behind us. I did tell him "If we ever make a plan to meet again, and you start getting cold feed, JUST TELL ME! Don't just disappear on me!" He promised, and that was that.

We continued to chat over the next week or so, while the wife and I were moving into our new house. As it happens, my new house is practically in CR's back yard! (Yes, I knew this at the time we put our offer in, but I promise there was no ulterior motive on my part!) He passes my house on his way to work, so he was well familiar with it and even knows some of my neighbors.

The week after we moved in, the wife told me that she would be working the following Saturday (last week). I mentioned it to CR, and said that he should stop by on his way to the church and I'd give him the grand tour. I promised him that "grand tour" was not a euphemism for anything, and he said "but it could be!" Thus, once more we had a plan, and this time it seemed destined to happen!

But of course it didn't. Once again something unusual came up, and CR wasn't going to be able to make it. I didn't get mad, or even overly disappointed, because I guess on some level I kind of expected something like that. Everything about the situation seemed like I was being played, but I just honestly didn't think CR was doing this intentionally. Call me naive, or evian, or whatever, but I was sure I had a better read on CR than that. So I just "Alright, we'll try again." After all, I knew the wife would be working most Saturday's for the rest of the year.

Sure enough, she told me Tuesday this week that she would be working Saturday, and on Wednesday I let CR know. He said it sounded like a good plan, that we'd meet at my house, and see what happened from there.

He'd said he would be there at 8:30, and since the wife had to work I got up a little after 4. I had some chores around the house to keep me busy, which kept me from getting too anxious about the long wait (I'm the impatient sort, if you hadn't noticed.) We started chatting around 6 and he said everything was still good to go on his end. We both knew things could change at the last minute, but I was still getting excited.

Just before 8 CR texted me asking if we could move the meeting to the church. I had my misgivings, considering all the prior plans involving the church and how badly awry that always went. When I told him that, he assured me that for this time of morning, everything should be clear. I went along with it, but was also making plans for what I'd do when he texted to say someone else was at the church and we'd have to cancel.

He left his house on time, and I watched as he drove by my house on his way to the church. A minute or so later I left, going the same route. He'd told me where to park and which door to come to, and I drove up to park behind his car still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Just as I pulled up I got the "blip" of a message coming in. It said "all clear!"

I got out of my car, walked up to the door he'd indicated, and there he was, waiting for me! Holy shit (no pun intended) this is actually going to happen!

And just to cut to the chase, it did! We were both nervous, but we'd agreed long ago that when we finally met, as soon as we were in a clear location, we'd kiss and just get the awkwardness over with. So, we did! We kissed, and groped a bit, and after a few minutes I think we were both a lot less nervous.

We didn't have a lot of time, so we both opened our pants and pulled our cocks out. Suddenly I was holding the dick I'd only seen pictures (and a few good videos) of to this point! We kissed a little more, then I said "I need to get my mouth on this!"

He sat down and I kneeled in front of him and FINALLY got my mouth on that dick! I won't go into all the details (I mean, most of you have either sucked dick or had your dick sucked, so you know how that goes), but I licked and sucked like I hadn't had dick in over a year! CR seemed to like it, too.

As I've said in the past, I don't necessarily get anything out of a guy sucking my dick, but I'm not opposed to it either. So when CR wanted a turn, I was glad to let him. It felt good, and I stayed hard, but I could tell pretty early in that I probably wasn't going to cum.

After ten minutes or so I had CR stand up while I stayed in the seat. I pulled him to me and took him in my mouth again, and continued where I'd left off earlier. I must have been doing something right, because before too long he started panting, then said "I'm really close!" That was music to my ears! I continued sucking and bobbing, and when CR gasped "I'm cumming!" I was ready for him! I drained him as best I could, then I swallowed, and I was in heaven!

CR had agreed to use my phone to get videos of the action, so that I could show a few of the people I know would like to see it (Hi Simplicity!) (James, I'll get with you later!). I won't make the video widely available, but I will offer this screen shot...

CR sucked me some more afterwards, but as good as it felt and as much as I would have liked to, I just wasn't going to cum. We agreed that we'd definitely be doing this again, and maybe in time it'll be a little easier for me to get into it. But all in all, I know I had a great time, and I think CR did too!

An update, and a funny acectdote

Well, I think it's funny. Maybe you'd have to have been there.

I'm moving on from the failed CR affair, as one does. I'm still confused, and maybe even a little hurt, but ultimately it's a small thing. For a while I was concerned that perhaps something had happened to him, but I've seen his vehicle outside of the church from time to time. (No, I'm not stalking him I promise. The church just happens to be on the road that the wife and I travel quite frequently.) Yesterday I even saw him getting in his vehicle, and if the wife hadn't been with me I may have turned down the street and said hey. Perhaps it's best that didn't happen.

I went back on Grindr a few times, waiting to see what would turn up. The few conversations that I got involved in died quickly, as I'm just not really that into it right now. We've got a lot going on, what with getting our house ready to put on the market and looking at potential "new" houses for us. We're really interested in one in particular, but we haven't been able yet to get an appointment to see it. (The owners are still in it, so we can't just show up.) (Saturday morning the status changed to "pending" so we missed out on that one.)

Isn't it funny how a good photographer can make a house look so much bigger and fresher than it is in real life, though? We've been in a few houses that we were interested in, and they always seem less than they did in the pictures.

L came to town early Thursday, and I got off work early, so we spent a few hours together. We rarely get "us" time anymore, so it's nice when things come together like that. Of course there were shenanigans, as usual, but no real sex. I got to finger her a bit, and she stroked me so that I could tutor her on how to give R a good hand-job. We come up with the damnedest excuses for doing what we do! (The finale was that she watched me jack off until I came, which always turns her on. Unfortunately, nothing further happened after that.)

Later R came to the house, and when the wife got home we all went to dinner. We had a good meal and a great time, teasing and joking with one another. L kept bringing up Rs sister, gauging his reaction. She thinks there may have been something between the two of them when they were younger (and for the record, she may not be entirely off base) and keeps hoping to get a "hit" on some of her barbs. So far, he's handled all of them (according to L) will h hardly any reaction at all.

But on the drive home,they were talking about some moonshine his mom brought them from out of state. I said "you live right next to the moonshine capital of the world, Franklin County! Why do you need that imported shit?! "

R said " oh,but this is from West Virginia. It'll make you want to fuck your sister!"

I looked up sharply in time to see L duck her head to the side, shoulders hunching as she tried to stop laughing. For one of the few times in my life I was speechless, for what felt like a few minutes (but was actually just a few seconds) before blurting out "good heavens!" That got everyone laughing,but I think it was more to break the tension than anything else.

As happens in these times, later I came up with two or three responses that would have been better. The one I really wish I'd said is "Drink a lot of that, do you R?" That definitely would have been interesting!

I did later text L that the next time R drinks some of that moonshine, she definitely needs to ask him if it makes him want to fuck his sister.

Back to the Drawing Board (or not)

I'm giving up on looking for a dick to suck, at least for a while. It's more trouble than it's worth.

I went on Grindr yesterday,and it was just more of the same ole same ole. I engaged in a few half-assed conversations, but my heart wasn't really in it. No, I can't host. No I can't meet you after work. No I can't drive two hours out of my way on a weekend.

No, I don't know what I even want here.

I think giving up Facebook has been a positive thing, but I'm still feeling morose. The cold, dreary weather we've had since Saturday (and get to enjoy all week) isn't helping either.

The wife and I started watching "The Handmaid's Tale" and it feels all too scarily possible in today's climate. Margaret Atwood wrote it in 1985, and seems remarkably prescient now.

Just so this post isn't all doom and gloom, I am heartened by the growing BLM sentiment, and the protests it is generating. Despite a few miscreants causing trouble, the protests are long overdue, and I hope they can lead to meaningful change.

Likewise, I support the removal of all the Confederate statues and memorials from the public square. Traitors to the country who fought to maintain the right to hold other humans as slaves should not be celebrated or help up as honorable people.

How I Avoided the War (with apologies to Patrick Ryan)

Earlier this week I got to work early and, like I always do, I farted around until it was time to clock in. The lion's share of said farting around usually involves catching up on Facebook and, when I get bored of that, checking out Reddit. But this day friend's post caught my eye, and one of his friends made an opposing argument that I felt not only called for a response but it called for it from me.

In short, I got in a stupid argument with an idiot (some may even say there were two idiots involved in this argument.) I quickly realized that his goal wasn't to exchange viewpoints and either meet eye-to-eye on some points or agree to disagree. Instead, he was just trying to score some fake internet points with essentially a "Gish Gallop" strategy.

I got flustered, wanting to answer him but unable to keep up with his onslaught of nonsense, and eventually bowed out. He continued to spam the comment thread until I finally blocked him.

This isn't my first time having a fruitless argument on Facebook, but that day it really got to me. Half an hour later I was still fuming about it. An hour later I was fuming, but I also had a headache and was in a generally bad mood. It didn't help that I'm becoming increasingly bitter at work for various reasons. Facebook isn't one of the reasons, but I realised getting worked up over a stupid Facebook argument wasn't helping any either. So I deactivated my account.

Not being on Facebook for the past two+ days hasn't made me any less bitter about work, and it hasn't made interactions with people (for instance the wife) any less annoying. But maybe I'm dealing with those issues a little better because I'm not also stressed out from the inane shit that FB offers.

And since that time sink is out of my life (at least for now), that also means I have a little extra time at lunch to write award-winning level posts such as this one. Not that I have anything interesting to write about though.

CR and I are still talking, and still trying to work out getting together. I think I put too much pressure on myself and on CR to make it happen as quickly as possible, and it made me way too frustrated when it didn't work out. As JFB pointed out in response to my last post, with both of us married, on the downlow, and with a lot to lose should we be found out, there are going to be times when it just doesn't work out. So I'm trying to take a less stressful approach; we'll get there when the time is right. Meanwhile, we can tease each other with texts, pictures, and videos, and it'll be all the more intense when we finally do get together.

But god DAMN I want to suck his dick!

Too Good to be True

I'm starting this Saturday night, but it likely won't get posted until Sunday morning.

I've spent the day thinking about how I'd write this post, what I'd say and wouldn't say. And now I'm as blank as ever.

CR and I decided to try again for this morning, meeting at the church. We talked about it all week, teasing and getting each other charged up. We talked about it again this morning, shoring up our plans and getting the little details worked out. Then the wives woke up and we had to get on with our morning, but knowing we'd see each other (finally!) at nine.

It's been harder (giggity) this week to get excited after the false starts we've already had, but I was starting to get into it. And this morning I was raring to go! But when the I got a text from him at 8:30 I already knew what it would say before I saw it.

So once again something has come up at the last minute. My head is telling me this doesn't happen every time if both parties are wanting to get together. My gut tells me that CR isn't playing games, and that this is just a run of bad luck. Honestly I just don't know what to think.

But it's becoming more and more apparent that this is just not going to work out for us. Not now, not under these circumstances. The church isn't the "safe," reliable place it was supposed to be. There's no way for CR to ensure that someone else won't want to be there at the time we're trying to, and there's no guarantee that once we got started someone won't show up unexpectedly. That would be bad for everyone!

So CR, if you're reading this, I'm not mad. I'm trying to be understanding of how things are for both of us. I hope that we can still chat as friends. But I think it's time to just let it go unless we can figure out something more reliable. I can't maintain excitement about something when in the back of my mind I'm doubting it's going to happen at all.

My urge and need to suck a dick rises and falls seemingly at random. Right now I'm honestly not even sure I want it any more. That will probably change down the road, but for now I think I'm done.

Another Failure to Launch

After Friday's disappointment, CR and I agreed to try again for Tuesday. That fell through because of his family obligations,so we thought we'd either try for Thursday,or for sure Saturday morning. Although I'm learning nothing is "for sure."

Thursday was a long shot, and sure enough it didn't work out. But we thought Saturday would be a done deal. Until Saturday morning, an hour before we were to meet. Someone else would be at the church for the day, and it was unavailable.

So now we have to try again.

Sigh

Something, something, or maybe nothing

I'm rushing this post to get it up (giggity) before work,so my apologies for formatting and spelling errors.

When I told L about my curious hobby, she was really excited and asked every couple days if I had any prospects. I told her about some of the guys I was talking to, but none of them were really pending. I'd told her about the one guy, and also about how he'd ghosted me, and she was sympathetic.

L went to visit her daughter just as that happened, and wasn't around to talk to when I started chatting with CR. That Sunday the wife was out of the house to run some errands, so I called L to give her an update. I hadn't really gotten to know CR well to that point, but I was impressed by his dick and told L that. We had a good conversation, and she warned me again to "be careful, in all sense of the words."

During the week I tried to update L via text what was going on, and how CR and I were making a good connection. I noticed that her answers were short; "Ok", "Right", "Good", and the like. So I just stopped updating her, since it was apparent that she wasn't interested. That kind of hurt, but L is L.

Anyway, as I said yesterday, CR and I had our meeting scheduled for Friday. He was radio silent from about 8:30 on, as expected. When I didn't hear from him by 1:00 I figured that his obligation was running longer than expected, but we had plenty of time. I wasn't leaving work until 2:00, with the plan to get there around 2:30(ish).

By the time I was pulling off the interstate I still hadn't heard from CR, and I was getting a bit concerned. I drove around for a bit, waiting to see if he'd contact me and killing some time. My cutoff was going to be 3:00, because I'd want to be home and cleaned up (if need be) before the wife got home at 4:30.

By 3:00, all kinds of things were going through my head. Number one, I hoped that some family emergency hadn't come up. But I was also wondering if a better opportunity to play had come up. Which would have been fine, really, I'd just like to not be left hanging. Or maybe he wasn't that interested after all, which would also be fine as long as he let me know.

I didn't really believe any of that; those thoughts were coming from my insecurities. I'd chatted with CR enough to know that he isn't the kind of person who'd do those things. 

I had been keeping Simplicity up to date all week on our plans, and likewise I was telling her about not hearing from CR. Ever the good friend, Simplicity was sympathetic, and agreed that this was probably just a goof up and would all get worked out. She also advised that, should this happen again, I'd have to consider backing away.

By 3:30, I no longer had any wiggle room on time, so I went on home. Like any red-blooded American who'd been cock-blocked, I jacked off (it was a big load, CR) before the wife got home, then later drank too much.

Just before going to be Friday night, I finally got a message from CR. He apologized, and told me about the shit-show of a day he'd had. It seems...

Well, why don't we let CR tell us himself in the comments. Take it away, CR!