What the L - Final (?)

I really don’t know how to proceed with this series from here. I could write three lengthy parts (or more) just covering the details of the next month, but I really don’t want to do that. Every day there were little things that happened, little things one of us said and the little reactions the other would have, that would either get my hopes soaring or dash them to the ground. Those details are seared in my mind, but they wouldn’t mean anything to anybody else. So I’m just going to skip through those things and hit the highlights of the next, oh, three or four months. I have no idea, as I write this, how much that’s going to take.

We were “off” for several weeks, though we still talked every day. Most days we’d talk about family things (how shitty the older sisters were being, me giving her information about our father, etc) or about our upcoming trip to the beach for New Year’s Eve.  We’d both make slightly flirty comments here and there, but never cross any of those old lines. Until we did.

I could write a lot of paragraphs about how it happened; in fact, I just did but decided to delete them. But I’m getting bogged down in the details. In short, one of us made some sexual innuendo and the other responded in kind, and there we were again. Before noon I’d texted her pictures of me jacking off, she made all the right comments, and we were making plans on how we could get alone when we were at the beach.

For the next two weeks we kept it pretty low key, to the point that I wondered if she’d changed her mind again. But there was just so much going on, both at work and at home. We made it through Christmas uneventfully, and the wife and I drove down to them the night of the 29th. The next day we took off on a four vehicle convoy (two other couples along with our two cars) headed for the beach. Once we got there, we all checked into our rooms (we shared a two bedroom suite with L and B, the other two couples had their own rooms) drank a quick couple of beers, and then the four of us headed out to pick up supplies.

L and I made a few trips in the elevator together to bring things up from the cars or to find out where the other’s rooms were, and if we were alone we’d kiss and touch and generally act like horny teens. Everyone wound up coming to our suite that night and we all drank quite a bit and it got plenty wild. L wound up flashing her boobs at everyone, and B told her “way to go, baby; you just traumatized your brother!” He was being half sarcastic of course, but I couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it.

The next morning L got in the shower while B got ready to go golfing. The wife and I were going shopping with L later (that was their normal ritual for these beach trips) but the wife wanted to go down to the beach to search for shark teeth. I told her I would stay upstairs and L and I would come down when we were done. It really couldn’t have worked out better if I’d written a script for everyone to follow.

 L was in their bathroom getting dressed when B left for golf. After he left, I watched out the peephole to make sure he’d actually left, then put the door catch on to avoid being surprised. I figured I could say it accidentally got engaged or something if someone tried to get in, and there’d be time to… well, get straightened out if needed.

See, at this point I wasn’t sure what would happen. L would run so hot and cold on “us” that, for all I knew, she’d come out ready to go and brush me off. In fact, as I walked towards the balcony to check on the wife’s whereabouts (way off down the beach, walking away, still looking for the teeth) L came out fully dressed, towel wrapped around her hair, and the beginnings of her makeup ritual started.

“Where’s B?” she asked.

“He left for golf a few minutes ago.” As if she didn’t know this already.

“Oh. Where’s [the wife]?”

“Out there,” I pointed, “quite a ways off.”

“Oh,” she replied, turning to me. “That leaves just you and me, huh?” She stepped closer to where I was leaning against the credenza.

“Yes,” I growled. I reached out to grab her waist and pulled her to me, pleased at how eagerly she followed. We kissed like we were starving, and I pushed her shirt and bra up to get at her fantastic tits. Her nipples were rock hard, and so was my cock. She knew this already because she was rubbing me through my shorts.

I leaned down to suck on first on nipple then the next, and she groaned appreciatively. I was working my hand into her shorts when she pushed away from me. There was a fire in her eyes that made me giddy as she unzipped me and fished my fully erect dick out. She leaned down and took me in her mouth, swirling her tongue around the head and really sensitive spot just under it, then completely engulfed me. The angle must have helped because she was able to take me fully into her throat for the first time, nose against my groin.

She sucked me for just a short time, then stood back up and we kissed again as we fondled each other. She pulled me up and led me into their room, and said “Are you going to fuck me now?” It wasn’t a question, really, but I answered “yes!” anyway. She pulled her shorts and panties off in one motion, then got on the edge of the bed on her hands and knees, ass towards me. I kneeled down and licked her for a few seconds, but she was impatient. I could still see the wife a long way off down the beach (the windows in our suite were perfect for seeing out, and nobody else can see in) but we were both in too much need.

Reminiscent of the last time we’d had sex, when I had her bent over B’s motorcycle, I stood up and entered her almost effortlessly. Her pussy was tight, but so wet that there was little resistance. I pumped in and out, hard and fast, marveling at how wonderful it felt. L’s head was hanging down and I rocked her back and forth, then suddenly she threw her head back and groaned “Oh, god!” Her pussy clenched around me, and I came hard, grunting and slamming into her as she milked me dry. My knees were wobbling, but I didn’t pull out; I wanted to enjoy the feel of her wrapped around me while I could.

I finally pulled out and stepped back, then went in there bathroom to grab some tissue to clean her up with. I didn’t want to leave a wet spot on their bed, which would have been hard for her to explain. I dabbed at her pussy and sneakily rubbed her clit a few times. She groaned again but said “We’ve got to get going. [The wife] is expecting us downstairs soon.”

We got dressed, then shared another long, passionate kiss. I knew it could be a long while before we’d get another chance to fuck, but there just wasn’t any way to extend it any longer. We made our way downstairs and met up with the wife, then went out shopping.

The rest of the weekend blurred past, but was mostly filled with drinking, eating, and of course shopping. L and I didn’t have any other opportunities for sex, but we found time to kiss and fondle here and there. We even found ourselves alone in the communal hot tub late the next night, and snuck in a few minutes of making out.

This really, for the most part, ends the “What the L” series. There were a few other occasions that we found time to kiss, and an especially notable night when the wife caught us (but I was able to BS my way out of that one, for the most part) but that was the last time we had sex.

A few months later L got involved with a guy she worked with (S), originally telling me it would just be flirty email for something to do. By March she decided she had real feelings for him, and none for B. She fucked S, got caught (that would take a whole new series to explain properly), and that kicked off the next two-plus years of her going back and forth between the two of them. She’s currently with B, but has just recently confided in me that she still can’t get over S, and I know she’s on her way to making the same fucking mistake she’s already made a dozen times or more.

Meanwhile, she and I have gone from being “off” to kind of being “on” (at least in principle) to being off again, rinse and repeat. Last summer we had a big blow up between us, and I think that finally killed that part of the relationship for good. There have been a couple times since that I wondered if she was starting to think about us in that way again, but nothing has come of it.

I know that it’s for the best that we leave that behind us, but it’s not easy. I’m glad to still have her in my life, and I’m happy for it to be a more normal brother/sister relationship, but there’s no denying that we aren’t as close as we used to be. So much happened during the past two years between her and B and S (with me, and to an extent the wife, being firmly in the middle) and she’s really pulled back from me. I admit I made some mistakes in the way I handled things, and that led to some of it, but she made a lot of mistakes as well. We’ve made amends for the most part, and have a relatively good relationship now, but I think there’s still a lot of underlying resentment for both of us.

Pointless Rant

Back in the last century (I love saying it that way) I worked at a job that was a 45 drive away, and I had several routes I could take to get there and home. Over time I came to understand that it would take me equally as long to get home regardless of which route I took, and the distance was almost the same (within a tenth of a mile or two.) Of course, being the impatient person I am, I was always sure that the other route would have been quicker regardless of which one I took.

One evening I was on the interstate listening to something on talk radio (my car stereo sucked for music), with about a hundred things on my mind. I was in the left lane, doing my standard five miles per hour over the speed limit (it’s safe and you won’t get a ticket at that speed), and was quickly overtaking a car in the right lane. There was very little other traffic around, and no cars within a quarter mile of us in front or behind.

When I was within a car length of the other vehicle, the driver suddenly came into my lane. There was no signal, and I could see him clearly enough in his rearview mirror to know that he didn’t even glance around to see if there were any other cars. He was probably in his 60s, and he and the lady in the passenger seat were both staring straight ahead.

Slamming on the breaks at that speed would have been… bad. Fortunately I rarely panic in situations like that, and I applied enough pressure on the breaks to reduce speed quickly without breaking traction with the tires. I also laid on the horn in an attempt to show my displeasure at such irresponsible driving, but neither person in the car reacted at all. (I also discovered a problem with my front end that I hadn’t known about before, because the quick deceleration caused the front end to become very loose, and I had to fight to keep from swerving off the road. I got that fixed right away, of course.)

Being the hot head that I am, I attempted to catch up to them, but they took the left-hand exit (which was the reason he got in the left lane, though a good half mile before he needed to) before I could draw even with them. I was going to wave my fist and make angry faces and call them both nasty names. I wanted them as scared as I’d been those few seconds it took me to get the car under control. But I also wanted to get home, so I went my way and let them go theirs.

Maybe the guy was just old and forgetful, but I really don’t think so. He was most likely just another of the people I see every day who have no regard for anyone other than themselves. You see them at Wal-Mart, or really any other store, plodding along and taking up as much room in the aisle as they can, with no consideration to the people behind them. They may grudgingly (and slowly) move after a polite “excuse me,” but it’s just as likely that they’ll ignore you.

Just as bad are the people who come barreling out of the aisles, and if you happen to be where they want to go and you don’t get out of the way, well that’s your own damn fault. They’ll cut you off (and hit you if you don’t yield to them) just to stop to look at an item, while giving their cart just enough of a twist so that it blocks the rest of the aisle on the other side. I’ve noticed this behavior about equally from men and women on the road, but it’s almost always women who do it in the stores. I’m sure there’s a reason for that, like women do most of the shopping or something.

I know I’m a hothead, quick to anger, and very impatient with people in general, but for fucks sake what is wrong with them? I used to think it’s just because people are stupid (which they are, of course) but this is more than just stupidity. Then I thought it was malice, and they were doing these things and getting off on being the bully. That’s closer to the truth, certainly true for some people, but not quite right.

I’ve had people ram into my cart (or cut me off on the road), look right at me, and not say a word. Then they get offended when called out on it (that’s where my angry, biting sarcasm works to calm any situation) and act genuinely surprised that there was another (allegedly) sentient being in the vicinity. It’s not even self-centeredness, which would imply that they are aware of people that they think are beneath you. I think it’s just that people don’t care enough about anything outside of their world to even acknowledge the presence of others.

I don’t’ care about people (in general, I mean), but I notice them, and I try not to be in their way when I can help it. If I can’t help it, or if I just make a mistake or was inattentive for a moment, I acknowledge they exist and mumble a quick apology for the inconvenience. On the rare occasion that someone does the same for me, I appreciate it and I don’t get near as angry as I do otherwise. But as I said, those are rare occasions.

Weekend Update

Good morning, and happy Monday! This weekend wasn’t particularly notable, but there were some highlights.

The wife worked Saturday morning so I had some morning time to myself. The niece was home, but she was still asleep so I was able to take care of my needs without interruption.

 Blondie, our girl dog, had surgery a few weeks ago to get rid of some bladder stones, and she’s doing well. I had to collect a sample of her pee to take to the vet, though, so that was a big highlight of the morning. Not! More got on my damn hand than in the cup! Fortunately, though, the vet said everything looks good and she is doing fine.

When the wife got home, we went to lunch and did some shopping and other errands. After that was all done, I’d just lit a cigar and was enjoying the comfortable weather when my Mom called. She said my step-father (who’s nearing 80) wasn’t feeling well, and was getting dizzy and week when he stood up, but didn’t want to go to the hospital. So would I come by and fix their internet? Like all the other women in my life, she knows how to push the right buttons to get me to do what she wants.

The wife and I drove out there and I “fixed” their internet. All I had to do was reset the router, which is something I’ve shown her a dozen times. I wouldn’t have gone except I wanted to check on my step-father and make sure he was alright. He’s fine, but his blood pressure gets too low at times; I told him to mention it to his doctor and see if his meds for high blood pressure needs to be adjusted. He promised he’d go this week. We went back home and I got to finish my cigar in peace.

I’d bought us each an 8 oz. NY Strip that Kroger had on sale when we were shopping earlier. They weren’t as thick cut as I’d normally like, but they wound up pretty tender and tasted real good. I brushed them with olive oil and used a salt, pepper, garlic, oregano and thyme rub I made up on the spot, and they were fantastic! Of course, the wife still smothered hers in ketchup!) I also grilled us a skewer of shrimp each, and the wife made a big pan of sautéed mushrooms and onions and pan-fried asparagus. It was a big meal, and very satisfying! We each had a few drinks to round out the night, and got to bed around midnight.

Sunday was more of the same; I mowed and weed-whacked the lawn, then the wife and I went for a nice motorcycle ride as we took care of some other errands. When we got home I enjoyed another cigar, then I fired up the grill to cook some chicken breasts. We weren’t overly hungry so I didn’t prepare a big side dish, but we did have more grilled asparagus. We shared a bottle of wine later and I got to watch the Hall of Fame preseason football game (go Cowboys!) We got to bed a little late, but I woke up feeling pretty good and ready for the week ahead.

So how was your weekend?

What the L - Part 7

I wrote this part three weeks ago, but forgot to post it! Oh, the joys of growing older.

I’m not sure what all to say about the weeks that followed, or how much detail to put in. It seemed important at the time, and still does to me, but it’s unlikely it would mean that much to any of you. Let’s see if I can breeze through it quickly, and if there’s something I missed I’ll try to come back to it.

L finally called that morning around 11, and she sounded rough! She and B had gone to Buffalo Wild Wings to eat dinner, talk, argue, and drink. And apparently they drank quite a lot! She didn’t remember much after they left, or didn’t want to talk about it.

I knew the whole thing was harrowing for the two of them, but I have to admit I was overwhelmed with relief. Her getting caught before anything had happened was the best outcome I could have asked for, and she couldn’t blame it on me. Now I would have her to myself again. Well, other than sharing her with B, but that was different, if you can understand that.

Originally L said she and I were still on (when I asked), but by the next week she said she needed to be good for B and wasn’t going to cheat anymore. She stayed the night with us the weekend following, and when we were alone for a bit (the wife ran out to do some errands) she asked about even though we aren’t “like that” anymore, could we still talk about it. I said yes, we probably shouldn’t do it in front of our spouses, but it was something that happened. She muttered “and may happen again,” which got me hopeful, but I didn’t want to push so let it go.

The next weekend was Thanksgiving, and though we didn’t see L and them much on Thursday (they were in town at her FiL’s, but she explained that it was to be family time. That kind of hurt, honestly) we did have plans to pick her and her girlfriend up early Friday morning for Black Friday shopping. The wife went with, but was going to have to go to work by 8.

I enjoyed, and took advantage of, any opportunity to be with L I could, even if we were “off” and other people were around. But shopping and traffic are two things that get me in a bad mood quickly, and L noticed. When the others’ attention was elsewhere, she quietly said “You look like you need a big ol’ kiss!” I laughed ruefully and said “I wish,” which got her giggling. She smiled and winked at me and quietly said “you never know what will happen.”

She and her family left later that day, and stopped to see her birth mother whom she’d recently gotten back in contact with after 15 years. There’d been a falling out between them, but they decided to put those differences behind them. The pictures B posted of the two of them hugging and laughing and crying were heartwarming, and it was a really big day for her.

That Saturday the wife and I drove down to stay the night and she told us all about the visit. She was so happy, and I was so happy for her. As usual, the drinks flowed and by that night we were all pretty well buzzing along. B insisted I go outside and have a cigar, and since he usually gets his way that’s what I did. He came with me, telling the girls some bullshit excuse for them to not come out.

His purpose, of course, was to talk about the TOG thing. He told me it hurt him that I knew about it (again, L told him it was just chatting, no intention of meeting or anything) and didn’t say anything. I told him I just wanted to stop her from making a mistake, and hoped it wouldn’t become something bigger. We went back and forth, with him finally asking me to let him know if there’s ever a time something like this is going on. I promised, but knew there was no way I’d ever betray L that way.

He went back inside and L came out to find out what we talked about. I told her what we’d said, and that I’d never betray her. She looked inside and saw that B and the wife were talking about something, paying us no mind, and stepped up to kiss me. I can’t describe how good that brief kiss felt, and what it meant to me. I wanted more but she said it was too dangerous, and of course she was right. I slept better that night than I had in several weeks.

The next morning L and I were awake (as usual) before anyone else, and we sat together while I showed her pictures of the older sisters and I when we were kids, including pictures of our father. We were snuggled up on the couch, really close, and though we weren’t doing anything other than touching side-to-side, my head was swimming. Though it’s possible that was as much due to the alcohol from the night before still being in my system.

We went shopping (we did that a lot) later, and then I rode with L and her daughter while L took her to a friend’s house over the mountain. It was a good 30 minute drive both ways and the wife stayed at the house to get a nap. After dropping off the daughter, I was hoping for a chance to park and neck a little, but L said we couldn’t because B would know how long it takes to get back. We talked, some, but mainly I was feeling frustrated.

During the following week L once again let me know that we were, once and for all, “off” again. I went through my normal anxiety, anger, depression, etc., but by this time I’d gotten the whole process down to like a day or two, tops. I finally got over the worst of the fear, that if we weren’t “on” I’d lose her interest even as family; she’d shown that she still loved me as her brother, no matter the other stuff. I was at peace with it, if not necessarily happy about it.

But with L, nothing is ever that simple.

Flash Fiction Friday - A Band On Ed - 8/2

It was a silly bet, based on his observation that “the only time you’ll ever get help at one of these generic warehouse stores is if you don’t need it.” She guaranteed she would have assistance within five minutes of going in, looking for any item of his choice (obviously something she wouldn’t know the first thing about), or he could have anything he wanted. They both knew what he wanted.

He sent her in for elbow grease and a bottle stretcher, figuring even if he lost the bet (he’d have to sprint naked downtown if that happened) he’d at least get to play a prank on her with the “sleeveless” errand. His mouth dropped open when she stripped to her bra and panties just before exiting the car, then strolled casually up to the entrance. “No fair!” he called out, but she just laughed and entered the store.

She’d seen employees moving about as she approached, but as soon as she passed through the doors it was if the place was abandoned. She looked left and right, turning in a full circle; there wasn’t even anyone at the customer service desk. What could have happened to everyone?

Shrugging, she looked at the signs at the ends of the rows and started looking for the most likely location of the elbow grease. Somebody would show up as soon as they noticed her attire, and as long as it happened within 5 minutes she would win. And if she lost… well, she’d cross that bridge when she came to it.

The slaps of her bare feet on the concrete echoed eerily throughout the seemingly empty store.

************

I shivered violently as goose bumps arose on my arms and legs. I blamed it on the air conditioned environment, but that was only part of it. The store was downright spooky without anyone around. As I walked further along, looking for the “grease” aisle, I realized the general background hum was resolving into voices. I rounded a corner and saw a group of the employees in the back corner, crowded around a table.

It was a birthday party! I guess they figured as late as it was, it was unlikely any customers would be coming in. That was exactly why I thought I’d easily win the bet; being so late, they’d all be bored and jump at the chance to help, especially if the customer was only wearing her “delicates.” The cool air really had my nipples on display too!

I had no idea how much time had passed, but I knew I didn’t have time to be polite. “Hello!” I called, to get someone’s attention. Ten faces turned towards me, followed quickly by ten men simultaneously almost sprinting in my direction, leaving the birthday cake abandoned. The tallest one smiled broadly and, waving the others away, said “I got this, guys. How can I help you miss?”

I’ll give him credit; I’d spoken a full five words before his eyes slid down to my boobs. They flickered rapidly between my eyes and my tits, and lower. I was no better, first amused by the growing bulge in his pants, then impressed, and finally enthralled. I don’t think either of us bothered looking anywhere higher than the neckline for the rest of the conversation.

************

I don’t know why all the employees moved towards the back as she walked in, but I hoped it would help me win the bet. We’ve been friends for years, and only recently started dating (if you can call it that), so even if I’d won I wouldn’t have held her to it. If she wanted to have sex with me, she would. But she couldn’t even kiss me without giggling, so it had to be weird for her. I just wanted to be her first, you know?

She was right at four minutes when she rounded the corner and saw them. She waved to them, and they all started moving, but the tall guy got to her first. A part of me wanted to argue that she’d cheated by calling them to her, but it didn’t matter. She won the bet in my mind simply because she showed me that she didn’t want to lose.

I was feeling kind of low when she came sprinting out a few minutes later, laughing. Watching her bounce made me feel better, and her laugh was like a drug to me. She reached the car, grinning, and said “Elbow grease, huh? A bottle stretcher? You ass!” and punched me playfully in the arm.

I smiled and said “Fine, you won, get in the car and get dressed.” She opened the door and quickly put on her skirt and blouse, then slipped on her sandals.

“Oh,” she said, excitedly. “The guy I was talking to said he’s going to take me home. I think I’m getting laid tonight!”

Stunned, I gave her a high five as she abandoned me.

************

This week's FFF prompt was abandoned, and that word and sprint were mandatory. We weren't allowed to use warehouse, thong, or any store name. The word limit was 250, but 25 bonus words for keeping everyone alive (some of us have been getting morbid of late, and I think Advizor54 wanted things to be a little less... severe.) Granted, the title of this post is a silly play on the theme; I'm still not completely over being sick this week as I write this. I found it moderately funny, though.

Unfortunately, I don't have any new people I've interacted with this week, sexy or otherwise. In fact, with fighting off this cold I've been dealing with, I haven't even felt exceptionally horny this week. I rubbed one out Monday when I got home early because it helps me relax and sleep, but other than that there's been no action.

Oh, the male character sent the female on a "sleeveless" errand, also known as a "wild goose chase." We used to do those to new soldiers when I was in the Army, sending them to get a box of aiming reticles or the like. My favorite, when I was a tanker, was to tell them that the turret was threaded in like a bolt, and every few months you have to turn it to the clockwise for a few minutes to make sure it's all the way down. You don't want it unscrewing out in the field and falling off, now do you? We'd get them in the turret and spin it clockwise for about five minutes, then they'd come out all dizzy. It was especially funny when you convinced some brand-new, butter-bar lieutenant to do it.

Get over to Advizor's blog to read the other entries this week.

Random Thoughts

I’m almost back to 100% after feeling so lousy this week, especially Monday and Tuesday. I tend to catch just about every bug that comes my way, but I also generally recuperate quicker than average. I must have inherited a fairly hardy constitution that is a big target, but can fight off most infections once they’re caught. And I don’t usually run fevers; in fact, the last fever I remember having was in late 1997 (I think) when I caught that year’s flu.  I was fine all morning, but while I was at lunch I started feeling bad, then worse, then dead. My boss took one look at my face when I got back and sent me home immediately. (I’m sure a lot of people look at my face and want to send me away, though, so maybe that wasn’t a big surprise.)

The wife and I got a bit of a shock this week, too. Her green card is due to expire in November, so we have to get it renewed, and that means we have to start it soon. The last time we had to do this was 10 years ago, and a local office of my district’s Congressman was able to help us with the paperwork and getting everything done. And though I don’t remember exactly how much it was, we’re both thinking it was around $150.

Now the local office doesn’t do that anymore because you can apply online. That’s great, and it’s easy enough to do, but when the application is processed and they send us to do the biometrics, we’ll have to go to West Virginia, because nobody around here does fingerprinting, I guess. Doesn’t that sound like something that could easily be contracted out to local police stations, instead of causing people to miss work and have to drive all the hell over to another state?

But the worst of it is that cost: $450! We simply were not prepared for this expense coming up right now, and it’s a right pain in the ass! I jokingly told her that it’s just too expensive and too much trouble, so I was just going to have to send her back to Germany, but for some reason she didn’t laugh. She’s got no sense of humor!

We were going to fall back on our old standby, borrowing money from her 401(k), but we already have two small loans going, and that’s all they allow. It sucks because she has a lot of money available to her, and the loans we have out are really tiny, but because they are two separate loans they won’t let us do anymore. And I haven’t had my 401(k) going long enough to take out a loan on it, so that’s out.

She’s been fretting about it, but I told her not to worry; I’ll work something out like I always do. In fact, I’ve already did a little financial magic, and we should be good to go soon. It just took us by surprise, and the timing was bad. We’ll go a little further in debt, but we’ll get through that quickly enough. If I’d known it would be that much, though, I’d have really pushed for her to get her citizenship this year; it only costs $200 more than the green card, and doesn’t have to be renewed!

In other news:

I exchanged a few emails with Brent last week; he’d gone on two almost back-to-back vacations, so we haven’t talked in a while. He’s doing well, and promised me an update on “new experiences” when he had time to write without prying eyes around. I know he still keeps up with my blog, so hopefully this will serve as a reminder that I’m still waiting! (And with his permission, I’ll share whatever he tells me.)

I’m still trying to catch up with T (the gay man I used to work with, that I almost hooked up with last year). The last I’d heard from him, he backed out of a planned meeting for a beer because his husband P had told him that morning he wants a divorce. However, I just now heard from him, and he said “we are working on us, taking it day by day.” I’m assuming by “we” he meant he and P, and not using the royal “we.” He’s gay, but he’s never acted like a queen. (Ba-dump-tsss) I did tell him that I have a lot to talk about if we ever do coordinate meeting for that beer, so hopefully that’ll pique his curiosity enough to get together.

I haven’t decided if I’m still interested in hooking up with him (assuming he is still interested in me.) I’m on the “low” side of interest in other men, partially because I already scratched that itch with Brent, but mostly because that’s just the way it’s always been with me: at times I crave it, and at other times it’s just not a big deal. Still, if T indicated that he wanted to, and I felt like it wouldn’t worsen the situation between him and P, I think I probably would.

I Might Still be a Little Feverish

I could have stayed at work yesterday, but there wasn’t anything I absolutely had to get done that would keep me there. Besides, God invented sick days specifically so I wouldn’t have to stay at work when I feel lousy. I stayed until noon to take care of some normal Monday chores, and headed on home.

The wife and I are complete opposites when it comes to being sick versus injured. I could lose and arm and, as long as I don’t have a headache or sniffles, I’ll come to work and make do with one hand. Even at the worst of my back troubles (surgery 10 years ago helped immensely) I would go in unless I just could not move. But if I’m feeling the least bit under the weather, I whine and complain and hope someone will tell me to stay (or go) home. I’m the worst “sick” person in the world, and woe to anyone who has to look after me. (Think of Sheldon Cooper in that one episode of The Big Bang Theory.)

The wife, on the other hand, has gone to work when she was so sick I thought I might have to take her to the emergency room. She whines about it too, but won’t lose any work over it. I still wind up doing everything for her at home, and she makes sure I know just how awful she felt, but she’ll put in a full 8 hours, and overtime if they’ll let her, regardless. But let her get even the smallest owie and she’s ready to make an appointment with the doctor to have it looked at. Vive la differences, right?

Anyway, I got home yesterday, took a big shot of Nyquil, rubbed one out, then tried reading for a bit. Soon the words were too jumbled to make sense, so I put the book aside and drifted in and out of consciousness for the next three hours. I woke up in time to start dinner (bratwursts) that I didn’t feel like eating, but as I woke up I felt marginally better than earlier.

I took a Benadryl around 7, then at 8 I took another big shot of Nyquil. That combination plus three beers had me ready for bed by 9, and I was out like a light. Except I woke up just about every hour having to use the bathroom (the Benadryl does that to me).

Somewhere in there I had a weird but pleasant dream. In it I was still living at home, as were my oldest two sisters. It was like we were kids again, and the setting would have been back when I was in the 10th grade, but we were all adults. I was talking to a girl I really liked back then, Ruthie, who was the first girl I ever kissed. I don’t remember the exact dream conversation, but we were talking about finding some place to “make out”, though it was clear we both meant to have sex. In my mind there was the disparity between being a kid in the dream (talking about sneaking into my room) and an adult (not wanting her to know I was still living with my mom and stepfather.)

I said something, probably meaning to be flirty, and Ruthie smiled. When she did she turned into L and I was instantly an adult again, and we were talking about where we could go to have some privacy. I woke up before anything could happen.

I hadn’t thought about Ruthie in quite a while, certainly not in that way. Our first kiss was our only kiss, and though she acted like she wanted to date me, it never worked out. She was cute, with raven-black hair and big boobs, and had plenty of better prospects to choose from than me. A friend of ours that the wife and I hang out with from time to time was Ruthie’s best friend in school, and tells me now that she has really fallen apart over the years, mentally and physically. She says I wouldn’t recognize her now if I saw her, which is kind of sad.