Happy Monday, everyone. There’s truly not much to talk about this weekend; we did our chores, watched playoff football, had some drinks, etc. We did get a new mattress topper for the spare room’s bed, which makes it a lot more comfortable. Oh, and there was no sex.
This is what my marriage is coming to; I sleep more and more often in the spare room. At first it was just the room I would go to on those nights that I feel asleep before the wife and my snoring was too bad for her to sleep. She’d wake me up, send me on my way, and I’d stumble sleepily into the spare room (the guest room is being used by the niece for now) so we’d both get some sleep.
But I’ve noticed I sleep better in there if only because I’m not concerned about my snoring waking her up. She has always assured me that once she gets to sleep, especially with ear plugs in, it won’t matter how much I snore I won’t disturb her. But that hasn’t always proven to be the case; I have woken her up on occasion. So I’m more aware of it, and find myself sleeping fitfully because I start snoring and wake myself up so I don’t wake her up. If I’m in the spare room, I don’t worry about it and can sleep more soundly.
Oh, and the no sex thing isn’t that big a deal. Honestly, I’m happy when she’s on her period and I can jerk off without having to worry about not having anything left for her later. Of course that’s usually not a problem anyway, because she doesn’t even think about getting in bed until she’s done playing all her games, and by then it’s too late. Every once in a while she’s horny enough to want something, though, and I have enough trouble getting aroused when I haven’t masturbated earlier in the day.
Not that I have any problems getting aroused, for like masturbation or with others (Hi Simplicity!) I guess it’s not unusual to be not as excited about fucking the woman I’ve been married to for 20+ years, but I think it’s more than that. It’s just hard to get excited about the same sex over and over. I know generally that, if she gives me head, it’ll be for a minute or two. And that would be fine, really, but I also know that she isn’t going to let me go down on her. On the exceedingly rare occasions that she does let me eat her, it’s for 30 seconds tops, and I know she’s not getting anything out of it. She treats it more as a chore than anything.
Now maybe my skills just aren’t where I think they are, but I do have it on good authority that I’m pretty good at it (Hi Simplicity!) The truth is the wife just doesn’t like to spend much time on foreplay. She wants to fuck, have me cum as soon as possible (she hates when I try to last longer) and then she gets hers with the vibrator (maybe) and we’re done. If the whole thing takes more than 15 minutes (and it’s really not even near that) I consider myself lucky.
I don’t know if there’s any turning this around at this point or not. I’m not going to leave her, and I know she won’t leave me (though I truly wish she’d find someone else, fall in love, and ask for a divorce) so I guess I’m stuck here. I really don’t mind that much, I guess; as long as I can enjoy the occasional fling (Hi Simplicity!) to add some spark, I can live with the other day-to-day drudgery. It may not be fair to the wife, but I do think it’s better than leaving her.
This is what my marriage is coming to; I sleep more and more often in the spare room. At first it was just the room I would go to on those nights that I feel asleep before the wife and my snoring was too bad for her to sleep. She’d wake me up, send me on my way, and I’d stumble sleepily into the spare room (the guest room is being used by the niece for now) so we’d both get some sleep.
But I’ve noticed I sleep better in there if only because I’m not concerned about my snoring waking her up. She has always assured me that once she gets to sleep, especially with ear plugs in, it won’t matter how much I snore I won’t disturb her. But that hasn’t always proven to be the case; I have woken her up on occasion. So I’m more aware of it, and find myself sleeping fitfully because I start snoring and wake myself up so I don’t wake her up. If I’m in the spare room, I don’t worry about it and can sleep more soundly.
Oh, and the no sex thing isn’t that big a deal. Honestly, I’m happy when she’s on her period and I can jerk off without having to worry about not having anything left for her later. Of course that’s usually not a problem anyway, because she doesn’t even think about getting in bed until she’s done playing all her games, and by then it’s too late. Every once in a while she’s horny enough to want something, though, and I have enough trouble getting aroused when I haven’t masturbated earlier in the day.
Not that I have any problems getting aroused, for like masturbation or with others (Hi Simplicity!) I guess it’s not unusual to be not as excited about fucking the woman I’ve been married to for 20+ years, but I think it’s more than that. It’s just hard to get excited about the same sex over and over. I know generally that, if she gives me head, it’ll be for a minute or two. And that would be fine, really, but I also know that she isn’t going to let me go down on her. On the exceedingly rare occasions that she does let me eat her, it’s for 30 seconds tops, and I know she’s not getting anything out of it. She treats it more as a chore than anything.
Now maybe my skills just aren’t where I think they are, but I do have it on good authority that I’m pretty good at it (Hi Simplicity!) The truth is the wife just doesn’t like to spend much time on foreplay. She wants to fuck, have me cum as soon as possible (she hates when I try to last longer) and then she gets hers with the vibrator (maybe) and we’re done. If the whole thing takes more than 15 minutes (and it’s really not even near that) I consider myself lucky.
I don’t know if there’s any turning this around at this point or not. I’m not going to leave her, and I know she won’t leave me (though I truly wish she’d find someone else, fall in love, and ask for a divorce) so I guess I’m stuck here. I really don’t mind that much, I guess; as long as I can enjoy the occasional fling (Hi Simplicity!) to add some spark, I can live with the other day-to-day drudgery. It may not be fair to the wife, but I do think it’s better than leaving her.
Hi, Rob. Please don't take this the wrong way, but if the marriage is such a drudgery, why stay in it? With grown children, is it worth being (seemingly) miserable with her? If she could ask for a divorce, why can't you? Not judging or anything, just wondering.
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Jay, the problem is I don't know that getting out of the marriage would definitely make me happy. Beyond the initial relief and excitement, there's a good chance I would still be unhappy.
DeleteOn the other hand, the wife would be devastated. I don't say that because I think she couldn't do better than me; she obviously could. But she would be lost after this long trying to make it on her own, even if she went back to Germany.
So the only way I could do it is if I was convinced that my net gain in happiness would offset her net loss. And even then I might not, because that would feel incredibly selfish. I complain about her, and about our marriage, but she really has been as loyal a wife as you could find, and has put up with a lot of my shit. As I said, I can be content with my life as it is, as long as there is the occasional thrill.
Hi Rob! Did you need me? Lol
ReplyDelete