My first weekend update for 2014 isn’t what I would have wanted it to be about, but we don’t always get to decide the different paths our lives take. We can only adjust and make do as well as possible with the new direction, and try (but not too hard) to make the ride as comfortable as possible.
We said our goodbyes to my sister on Saturday. As you can probably imagine, it was a rough week for the family, but I think (I hope) the worst of it is behind us. The middle sister and her family came into town Thursday (and left Sunday) and I’m really glad she and I had a chance to reconnect in a way we haven’t in years. Unfortunately, there will be no meeting between her and L anytime in the foreseeable future, and that saddens me, but I can’t let that become the wedge between us that it was between the older sister and me.
The service was nice, I guess. I’m not a religious person by any means, so all the “God this…” and “Jesus that…” parts are just word salad to me. The minister, who is married to my mother’s cousin, must have caught on that I’m not a believer because after the service he handed me some pamphlet about being saved, or some such nonsense. I’m sure he assumes that I’m not reallyan atheist, that I’m just mad at God or want to sin or whatever, and a few flowery words about how “Jesus died for your sins” will make me see the light. Sorry, Padre, I ain’t that kind of Atheist.
I was really impressed with the number of people who came to the service. We have a pretty large extended family as it is, but the number of friends who came pushed the attendees to over 180. Counting the people who came during visitation but left before the service, the funeral home guy said he thought it was close to 250 people all told.
I’d considered getting up and speaking about my sister during the service (the floor was opened to anyone who wanted to say something) but decided against it. I would have only been repeating the things I’d talked about with my mother, the middle sister, even the niece; there just didn’t seem to be any point. Besides, I tend to keep my emotions, or at least my negative emotions, to myself (this blog notwithstanding.)
I have to say the hardest part of the week was that the wife was off all week too. I barely had 10 minutes to myself on any particular day. The only time I got to shake myself loose from her was when the middle sister and I went to lunch together for some much needed bonding time. And even then she was texting every 10 or 15 minutes to find out when we’d be done, where we were going after, etc. She was with all the nieces, and they later picked up the B-i-L, so it wasn’t she was stuck with nothing to do; she simply couldn’t stand the thought of me doing something without her that I might be enjoying! (I know that’s not entirely fair, but it sure feels that way sometimes.)
But it’s done now, and hopefully I can start getting back to my normal life. “Normal” being a relative term, of course; new shenanigans are afoot with L and TOG (The Other Guy) whom I’ve written about before. I’m getting residual benefits from it for the time being that could turn into more or get cut off cold. I’ll go more into that later.
We said our goodbyes to my sister on Saturday. As you can probably imagine, it was a rough week for the family, but I think (I hope) the worst of it is behind us. The middle sister and her family came into town Thursday (and left Sunday) and I’m really glad she and I had a chance to reconnect in a way we haven’t in years. Unfortunately, there will be no meeting between her and L anytime in the foreseeable future, and that saddens me, but I can’t let that become the wedge between us that it was between the older sister and me.
The service was nice, I guess. I’m not a religious person by any means, so all the “God this…” and “Jesus that…” parts are just word salad to me. The minister, who is married to my mother’s cousin, must have caught on that I’m not a believer because after the service he handed me some pamphlet about being saved, or some such nonsense. I’m sure he assumes that I’m not reallyan atheist, that I’m just mad at God or want to sin or whatever, and a few flowery words about how “Jesus died for your sins” will make me see the light. Sorry, Padre, I ain’t that kind of Atheist.
I was really impressed with the number of people who came to the service. We have a pretty large extended family as it is, but the number of friends who came pushed the attendees to over 180. Counting the people who came during visitation but left before the service, the funeral home guy said he thought it was close to 250 people all told.
I’d considered getting up and speaking about my sister during the service (the floor was opened to anyone who wanted to say something) but decided against it. I would have only been repeating the things I’d talked about with my mother, the middle sister, even the niece; there just didn’t seem to be any point. Besides, I tend to keep my emotions, or at least my negative emotions, to myself (this blog notwithstanding.)
I have to say the hardest part of the week was that the wife was off all week too. I barely had 10 minutes to myself on any particular day. The only time I got to shake myself loose from her was when the middle sister and I went to lunch together for some much needed bonding time. And even then she was texting every 10 or 15 minutes to find out when we’d be done, where we were going after, etc. She was with all the nieces, and they later picked up the B-i-L, so it wasn’t she was stuck with nothing to do; she simply couldn’t stand the thought of me doing something without her that I might be enjoying! (I know that’s not entirely fair, but it sure feels that way sometimes.)
But it’s done now, and hopefully I can start getting back to my normal life. “Normal” being a relative term, of course; new shenanigans are afoot with L and TOG (The Other Guy) whom I’ve written about before. I’m getting residual benefits from it for the time being that could turn into more or get cut off cold. I’ll go more into that later.
I know how you feel. Getting through the visitation and service provides some closure, and now you can move on. I hope you're doing OK. Stay strong! And have some fun!
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
...she simply couldn’t stand the thought of me doing something without her that I might be enjoying! (I know that’s not entirely fair, but it sure feels that way sometimes.)
ReplyDeleteMy god, not only are we twins, but we've married the same woman!