Before I present the joke for this week, I just want to quickly tell you about what happened this morning (ha! As if I ever related a story quickly!)
Unless she is working overtime, I generally leave before the wife does. This morning was no different, so as I’m getting ready to head out the door she was just finishing up her online games. She was still in her robe, and as she rose to go start getting dressed, I muttered (because the niece was awake in her room) “Whatcha got on under that robe?” She surprised me by opening it up and giving me a little wiggle and I actually started to get a chubby.
The funny part was her saying “You could have had this last night, but you wanted to sleep in the other room, so…” Yes, last night I told her I was going to sleep in the spare room because my sinuses were stuffed up and I knew I’d be snoring loudly. I didn’t sleep well the night before because I would wake myself up with my snoring, trying to keep it from waking her up.
But remember what I wrote about Tuesday morning? How I was trying to get things going, and getting rejected? Well, that continued Tuesday and Wednesday night, with me gently prodding for us to get in bed early and her rejecting all my attempts to start anything. So when she said that this morning, it actually kind of pissed me off a little.
“Oh, don’t even start that shit!” I said. I was smiling, and wanted her to take it good naturedly, but I was not kidding. “I’ve been getting us in bed early all week trying to start something, and you’ve ignored me the whole time.”
She said “Okay, I’m sorry!” in that way that clearly says she isn’t really sorry, but doesn’t want to argue about it. “Maybe tonight if she [the niece] is gone or goes to bed early…” Yea, whatever; I’ve heard those promises before. I just said “okay” and let it go. But the nerve of her, right?!
Okay, on to the joke:
And old man thinks his wife is losing her hearing. He calls their family doctor about it and the doctor suggests an experiment the man can try to determine how severe her hearing loss might be. “Ask her a question from the next room in a normal tone of voice. Move closer and ask again until she can hear you, and that will let us know the range of her hearing.”
That night, the man is sitting in the living room while the wife is in the kitchen making dinner. He estimates he’s about 30 feet away, so in his normal conversation voice he says “Hey, honey, what’s for dinner?” His wife doesn’t respond, so he went to the kitchen door, about 20 feet away. His wife’s back was to him, so again he asked “Honey, what’s for dinner?” She still doesn’t respond.
Concerned that her problem might be worse than he thought, he walked to within 10 feet of her and again asked “Honey? What’s for dinner?” Still no response, so he walked directly behind her and asked one more time “What’s for dinner, dear?”
His wife responded “For the fourth fucking time, we’re having chicken!”
Unless she is working overtime, I generally leave before the wife does. This morning was no different, so as I’m getting ready to head out the door she was just finishing up her online games. She was still in her robe, and as she rose to go start getting dressed, I muttered (because the niece was awake in her room) “Whatcha got on under that robe?” She surprised me by opening it up and giving me a little wiggle and I actually started to get a chubby.
The funny part was her saying “You could have had this last night, but you wanted to sleep in the other room, so…” Yes, last night I told her I was going to sleep in the spare room because my sinuses were stuffed up and I knew I’d be snoring loudly. I didn’t sleep well the night before because I would wake myself up with my snoring, trying to keep it from waking her up.
But remember what I wrote about Tuesday morning? How I was trying to get things going, and getting rejected? Well, that continued Tuesday and Wednesday night, with me gently prodding for us to get in bed early and her rejecting all my attempts to start anything. So when she said that this morning, it actually kind of pissed me off a little.
“Oh, don’t even start that shit!” I said. I was smiling, and wanted her to take it good naturedly, but I was not kidding. “I’ve been getting us in bed early all week trying to start something, and you’ve ignored me the whole time.”
She said “Okay, I’m sorry!” in that way that clearly says she isn’t really sorry, but doesn’t want to argue about it. “Maybe tonight if she [the niece] is gone or goes to bed early…” Yea, whatever; I’ve heard those promises before. I just said “okay” and let it go. But the nerve of her, right?!
Okay, on to the joke:
And old man thinks his wife is losing her hearing. He calls their family doctor about it and the doctor suggests an experiment the man can try to determine how severe her hearing loss might be. “Ask her a question from the next room in a normal tone of voice. Move closer and ask again until she can hear you, and that will let us know the range of her hearing.”
That night, the man is sitting in the living room while the wife is in the kitchen making dinner. He estimates he’s about 30 feet away, so in his normal conversation voice he says “Hey, honey, what’s for dinner?” His wife doesn’t respond, so he went to the kitchen door, about 20 feet away. His wife’s back was to him, so again he asked “Honey, what’s for dinner?” She still doesn’t respond.
Concerned that her problem might be worse than he thought, he walked to within 10 feet of her and again asked “Honey? What’s for dinner?” Still no response, so he walked directly behind her and asked one more time “What’s for dinner, dear?”
His wife responded “For the fourth fucking time, we’re having chicken!”
Lol, sounds like my house in both respects. But I sleep on the couch, or he does. It's just hard sometimes, but at least there is the escape of work, and then sleep.
ReplyDeleteTotally my world, but I am deaf in just the perfect frequencies to miss my husband and kids. Nature's way helping to ensure their survival.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, I can't relate to the first thing. But it sure sounds like crap to me. Either yay or nay. Why play games?
ReplyDeleteThe second thing is FUNNY AS HECK!
Peace <3
Jay
That is funny - the joke not the lack o' nooky.
ReplyDelete